The last horror, thriller or suspense film you watched

You might be right about Highlander 2, but I still think it is nowhere near being among the "worst" movies of all time candidate (as somehow many like to label it), as it packs lots of fun.

Fortress, Gunmen and The Hunted are also all very enjoyable action films, but I guess he just could not find the "right" time or place, and just ended up as a bit of a Van Damme "light" version, but still I think Lambert had a pretty good run of DTV releases far into the 00s.

Yeah, Steven Seagal is quite a chapter of potential discussions, and I just never seem to be amazed at that man and his many DTV movies. It is like a bad habit, I know it is not good for me, but somehow I just cannot stop watching his absolute trashy films, they just contain so much laughable moments, and, I actually am planning on re-watching a few of his "DTV classics" very soon, so it might be time to bring up the Last action film watched thread, once more. 

Black Scorpion (1995) by  Jonathan Winfrey

"You can't be the Black Scorpion, because you're the whitest woman I know!"

I somehow "accidentally" ended up with three Roger Corman produced movies last night, The Nest (1988), Behind Closed Doors (1994) and Black Scorpion, where I think the last one, surely was the most enjoyable and fun, and of course it had probably a bit much to do with the fact that the stunning Joan Severance starred as the beautiful cop-turned to vigilante/super hero that of the Black Scorpion.

I guess, if Corman had gotten the rights to do his version of a Catwoman movie back in the 90s, this is pretty much what it would look like, sleazy, campy, sexy and very much a fun and wild ride. Sure, there is no hiding the fact that several of the scenes seems very much "borrowed" from what Tim Burton did a few years earlier on Batman Returns (1992) but I would think it also pays a bit of a homage or tribute to the classic Batman series of the 60s as well.

Anyway, in this film you have a pretty solid cast, and beside the stunning Severance in the lead, you get several familiar faces and names such as Bruce Abbott and Rick Rossovich, but also the ridiculous Stephen Lee, who plays the typical angry and stressed out police chief, who always seems to have a cigarette in his mouth, and then you get the laughable black "butler/sidekick" that is Argyle (Garrett Morriss) who seems to go all the way for this over-the-top Bill Cosby kind of performance, and yeah, of course the evil main villain, the Breathtaker who pretty much looks like he has just "jumped out" the last episode that of Power Rangers, and well, all in all I actually really enjoyed this film.

It might not be among the all time "great" super-hero movies, but heck, I rather sit through this kind of entertainment than to bore myself to death, with another generic 3 hours of CGI filled modern super-hero stuff, that, well just do absolutely nothing for me, what so ever. 

Black Scorpion I think actually got made into several films, even a tv-series, but the first film is probably the best one, and I remember I had seen it, back in the late 90s on night cable, but forgot about the title, so it was very fun when I finally got around to look it up, and realize it was the movie I had been searching for, so long and I am just glad it hold up, so well. 

6,5/10


In the Heat of Passion II: Unfaithful aka Behind Closed Doors (1994)

A pretty much very typical and clicheed 90s erotic soap opera thriller, which has a rather familiar cast of names along the way, and I had seen it back in the early 00s on late night cable, but somehow forgot the title, and after doing a bit of "research" I found it again. 
The plot revolves around a rich middle aged woman in a wheel chair (Lesley-Anne Down, and her greedy and distrustful husband (Barry Bostwick) who plots along with his wifes sexy step-daughter, to get rid of his wife and get to her money.
However, things soon turn nasty and the clichees just stroll along on the assembly line, and when it tries to play "smart", during the last 15-20 minutes (or so) it just seems like it does so, because it runs out of time, not ideas and it feels very hasty and cheap.

There's is a bit of the classic over-the-top sex scenes, thrown in every now and then, and only missing the sleazy saxophone so often played in the background, and, well, I guess I have now seen it, a second time around but also for the very last time as well.

Beside the sexy Teresa Hill as Casey, I really liked the whole creepy shallow art-deco mansion, as it was really a cool looking place, but sadly the plot did never reach its "potential" and, well, I guess it is a pretty decent made tv-movie, but seeing all these talents being wasted, maybe a better writer/director could have done things a bit differently. 

4,5/10

Summer Camp Nightmare (1987) by Bert L. Dragin

Also known as Summer Camp Massacre, which is based upon a novel named The Butterfly Revolution (1961) and tells the story of what happens when a bunch of unhappy campers ends up getting manipulated by a power hungry teenager into stand up against the grown ups and the director in order to take charge of the place.
However, what first started out as a bit of playful fun, soon turns into a nasty and unpredictable outcome, when both rape and murder suddenly appears on the daily "agenda".

I had never heard of this one before, well, until last night that is, as it was just lying around on Youtube, and it looked rather interesting. Kind of a bit of Lords of the Flies meets up with Meatballs (1979).

Anyway, I guess the film or someone surely later on tried to milk or cash in on one the slasher genre, as both "Nightmare" and "Massacre" is used heavily, or so it seems, and to be honest, it really is a poor and very misleading way of "selling" what I believe is a very different kind of summer camp movie.
Okay, the original title surely is not as striking as the ones of Summer Camp Nightmare/Massacre, but I think based on what I saw last night, it should have went for The Butterfly Revolution.


Still, I really enjoyed much of the film, I thought it was entertaining, fun at times, but also a very interesting take on the whole summer camp themed movies of the 80s, and kind of wished they would have gone a bit "darker" or further into some of the stuff that happened, but again, I really cannot complain, as I had no idea of what to expect, and thought that for such a neat little 80s film, it really should have been given a proper DVD or Blu-ray release.

6,5/10


Final Exam (1981) by Jimmy Huston

Well, they can't be all "winners".
Another film I have had lying around in my watchlist for years now, and sadly one that turned out to be a complete waste of time.
Speaking of "milking or cashing" in on the slasher craze of the 80s, this has to be one of the dullest and most forgettable titles of that classic slasher year, as it seems like the director originally made a rather "normal" teen movie, almost a drama rather than a horror film, then realized what was going on and how much money you could make by having a bit of luck and success with making a slasher movie, so sudden changes were done in the last few minutes. 

Just throw in some "random" kills, hire in some "menacing" chubby guy from the street with a bad haircut and call it a day!

Damn, this one felt like it was never gonna end, even when I began skipping forward, it felt like time stood still. 

Where The Mutilator aka Fall Break succeeded in being enjoyable thanks to a bit of charm and goofy plot/characters, the stuff going on and the people you meet in Final Exam is just one huge sleeping pill. As for those expecting lots of kills, naked chicks and so on, well, this is surely not the movie to see.
However, there is a  bit cool atmosphere going on, and I liked the locations and the whole school property, sadly the plot and everything else was a big letdown. 

I do not think it was a very bad movie, just a incredibly boring one, and with no really enjoyable or interesting characters either in sight, so I cannot give it positive rating and end up with:

4/10

I guess I am one of the few, but I just thought it was lots of fun, and loved seing Sean Connery back again, Michael Ironside as the villain and the always lovely Virginia Madsen as well, but of course, it was miles and miles away of ever being any close to the quality of  the first one, which I think is really a 80s cult-classic.

I do have cable, but damn, I cannot remember that last time I actually sat down and watched a few movies, during the weekend. I think the last time, might be at least a year ago. Netflix, well, my brother have account there, so I often try it out every now and then, but the selection of movies, titles and genres are, I think just a big "mess". 
One "great example" is that if I search for a certain actor or director, everything else but those I have searched for, shows up, or with Steven Seagal, none of his movies comes up, but lots of his music  . 

I did try out Netflix a few years earlier, mostly to check upon tv-series and a few documentaries and so on, but the films that I might be somewhat interested in, I either already own, or have seen, so the rest are just, well, not my kind of entertainment. 
Of course I think there was a way of getting a hold of the American version of Netflix, but I guess some "party pooper" changed all that. 

I perfectly understand that one can get a bit tired of ending up watching too much "crap" or uninteresting films, and I try to be a bit more picky when looking up after new or older unseen movies. But sometimes I just got to admit that I am often a very terrible at doing so, but once in a while the "hunt" actually turns out pretty good, even might find a new favorite film behind all the "crap", so that is pretty much what still drives or gets me going on.

Noticed you brought up Belly of the Beast, I think or do hope that one will sit well, as I really think it is one of the much better and also more enjoyable Seagal DTV films of his, and, yeah, it was sure fun, explosive and Seagal acted like he really cared in that one, also some hilarious and very memorable bad guys and scenes as well.

Out of all of his usually terrible DTV titles, that one might be among the very few I actually want to have in my Seagal movie collection. Not saying much, I know but I do hope you enjoy it and would love to read your thoughts of it, if you end up watching the film one day.   

Andy Sidaris’ collection, oh yeah, I did go through most of the films, I think back in spring/summer of 2017, and I kind of want to have a "re-run" with several of those, so it could be fun if you too might check them up, and yeah, maybe get the old Action thread back in business.   

I think the only really memorable or striking scene, I guess, was the school-shootout, as that one would surely not have gone down well if a modern slasher or horror movie had tried it out. Which is of course very understandable, as these kind of tragic situations were probably not taking place, or at least so "often" back in the late 70 or early 80s, in America. 

Still, I thought it was just an annoying and very vulgar scene, just for the sake of "filling up the time" with a bit of cheap shock and "violence".

Oh boy, how do I end up with all these "classics" as of lately? 
Well, as I said earlier: "they can't be all winners" and I have sadly gotten at least that one right, but it is of little help, that I can "thank" my awful pickings of the last two movies which I saw last night for. 

Jungle Warriors aka Jungle Fever (1984) by Ernst R. von Theumer senior

Well, I am a pretty simple minded guy, when I look for movies on Youtube, I try to go for the more striking looking titles or movie posters, and I just do not have the time or interest to sit and browse for several hours in search of one potentially good film, and sometimes you just have to take what you got and move on along with it, hope it might be a rather "rewarding" 85-90 minutes, or so of fun b-movie entertainment.

Anyway, when I "stumbled" upon Jungle Warriors, I saw this very cool looking movie poster along with the names of Sybil Danning, Ava Cadell, Woody Strode, John Vernon and Dana Elcar and went in with a least some kind of "expecations" of entertainment value. Surely not a "masterpiece", but something that might be a bit of fun or cheese. 
Instead, what I got was almost 100 minutes of total boredom and just down right terrible in every way "entertainment", as this rape & revenge tale set in the tropic jungle, is just pure filth, where we have a bunch of beautiful models who are down in some "exotic" country, in search of a few good photo locations, but what they end up with instead, is that they become the sexual prisoners of a bunch of sweat, fat and horny bastards.

These kind of jungle-rape or women in prison films or sub-genre is surely one of the very worst of the shock-exploitation genre of that time, and Jungle Warriors has to lie among the worst of the worst that I have wasted time on. 
The "acting", the "plot" is all just, awful. But the worst part, is that is becomes very boring, very early on, so it is just me being very stupid for not turning this crap off during the first few minutes, saving myself for this absolute torture! 

I hoped early on, that it might be somewhere within the whole Andy Sidaris kind of b-movie entertainment, with beautiful women with big "talents" and even bigger guns, hitting back at the bad guys, and while there is a bit of action going on during the final minutes, it is just too little, far too late to save it. 

Not even the godess that is Sybil Danning could do much either, sadly. However, both her and Ava Cadell would later on appear in several (if my memory serves me correctly) of Sidaris "classics", but at least those were often both fun and sexy to watch, Jungle Warriors was everything but that.

1/10


Deep Space (1988) by Fred Olen Ray

"They created a monster over lunch. Now it’s back for DINNER…"

Oh yeah, another "classic" from the always reliable Fred Olen Ray, however, compared to the smelly turd that was Jungle Warriors, this rather campy and sometimes hilarious sci-fi horror b-movie actually managed to be somewhat of a little pleasant "surprise", after suffering through the film mentioned above.

In this one, Charles Napier is out on a bit of a alien hunt along with a beautiful woman and the soon finds out they surely are not alone in the universe, as the visiting and hungry space creature has a rather big appetite for human flesh. 

The film do come with lots of cheese and also some incredibly funny and "random" moments, such as having Napier all dressed up in the Scottish national dress, along with the kilt and all, seducing his lady with a bit of bagpipe music, which surprisingly goes down very well, as her clothes just seems to "disappear" right away.

So yeah, maybe I should try to remember that, when I bring home a female friend. On with the kilt and bagpipe, to see if it might hit off.   

This film is clearly one of the far too many "rip-offs" of Alien (1979), you get the Alien "looking" monster, you get the facehuggers and the Alien eggs and so on, but yeah, I guess that is probably as "close" to that mentioned masterpiece as you come. 
The monster itself is ridiculous, and sounds more like a horny grizzly bear during mating season, than that of a evil alien from another planet, and the facehuggers (while actually looked kind of impressive for such a lowbudget movie) end up having a bit of a show going on, and another hilarious scene is where Charles Napier hit a home run with a baseball bat, as one of these creatures tries to take him on.

Another hilarious part, is when he and his lady are being attacked in some lab by this "hugger", and he rips it off from the face of a doctor, then just throws it (without looking) right into the face of his female companion, and goes "OH SHIT!" and it is just such a delicous little random scene of pure cheese, and yeah, there were a few of that kind of entertainment going on, and why I probably end up being a bit too kind with my rating:

4/10