ot:a cafe owner yelled 'say thank you!' at me, should i?

Something could have been going on with the server and manager over it. But yeah. 

She should be fired. Beyond unprofessional what she did. I hope you didn't give her a tip either, and I would never eat at that place again.

But it was the manager who brought the drink, not the server, so tipping or not tipping wouldn't come into play, unless it was the original server's fault that you didn't get it timely.

Yep, she's totally out of line and probably in the wrong kind of business.

I have a few rules for wait staff. I never call them out about it though. And hey, maybe I'm wrong, I just think wait staff/hostess should:

1. Never refer to you and your party as "guys." And absolutely never as "honey" (got called that twice today)

2. Never ask "have WE decided what WE'RE having." Maybe this is something they teach in hospitality, but I think it should be "you." Pretty sure the waiter/waitress isn't gonna pull up a chair and join us for dinner.

3. Never physically touch you - I've had wait staff deliberately touch me on the arm and back while taking the order/checking back.

4. I realize you're busy and there's other tables you're dealing with, but when I'm out on my free refill drink, I really can't be doing with going 25 minutes before you come back and refill. Luckily, this kind of delay is rare, but it's happened. Last guy I had at Cheesecake Factory was refilling within a minute of me emptying the glass each time. That's actually way above what I expect.

And rules for the customer:

1. No stiffing on the tip. Talk to the manager if service was that bad.
2. No passive aggressive messages on the receipt as to why you're stiffing them.
3. 15% was acceptable when Reagan was in office. 18% minimum, 20% is better (and easier to calculate).
4. Do NOT ask the waiter approximately 1 million questions about a dish. It basically says on the menu what you're getting, do you want it or not?
5. When the waiter has taken a table's order and goes to your table next before putting in the first order, do NOT buttonhole them for 20 minutes yanking their chain about what you're gonna order and how you used to be in the trade. Do you even situational awareness? Had this happen one time and the waitress did nothing to cut them off and get their order, so we just walked out.

Also: full disclosure - I did stiff on the tip once, in Vegas. There were extenuating circumstances:

1. Between the person showing us to the table and the waiter, I was asked twice if I wanted water, and neither brought it, so had to ask for it again.
2. Waiter promptly disappeared for good after the food was brought. Like, maybe his shift ended, but no one else came to replace him.
3. Waited 30 minutes after finishing the food, nothing. I had to get up and button hole a waiter in another section for the bill.
4. The manager, who I'd seen dealing with what looked like other customers' complaints, promptly disappeared before I could address points 2 and 3 with her.

Then you should put an ad on Craigslist to help change your diapers when you're having a giant bitch meltdown douche.

Hi-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!