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Post by lostinlimbo on Feb 28, 2017 8:03:11 GMT
What are some low-budget action movies that equal nothing but a good time. And mean action films that are so bad, you can't help but enjoy its shortcomings.
My choice at top of the that mountain peak would be the 1987 film "Miami Connection". Everything about it is inept, however it's like a car crash. You just can't take your eyes off it. The dialogues are priceless. Acting... if you can call it that. Very unhinged. Awkward exchanges ensured. Absurd action. Confused plotting that I don't know if anyone knew what was going on. Ridiculous, but catchy soundtrack. It reeks of 80s, but you can't fault its heart.
A couple others not too far behind; Samurai Cop, White Fire and Deadly Prey.
What are some of your fave films?
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Post by stefancrosscoe on Feb 28, 2017 12:08:07 GMT
Oh yeah, Samurai Cop is always a hilarious watch, and one that I never grow tired of seeing over again, while Miami Connection has been on my watch list for ages, but most of the DVDs I have come a cross, have been rather pricey, but I guess I can wait a little longer. I enjoy a good craptastic c-movie now and then, here are some of my "favorites" which are so bad they are almost fascinating:  I recently picked up his Girls, Guns And G-Strings - The Andy Sidaris 12 Movie Collection for almost nothing and after having completed his first 4 films of the bunch, I can safely say that this guy is a true legend when it comes to making hilarious and great b-movies for almost nothing. He really did "perfected" the art of copying the rapidly popular, over-the-top action films of the mid/late 80s but instead of having some unkown musclehead male actor which barely looked like Arnold or Sly, Sidaris replaced them with casting some of the most beautiful babes with big tits & great ass"ets", along with absolute no budget and very little plotline/story whatsoever, and it worked like magic: Films like Malibu Express (1985) are so filled with tits and ass, it could almost be a softcore film, and I don't think that I have never seen so many hot babes willingly showing of their goods, so many times in a movie ever. Easily beating out likes of Russ Meyer and his boobalicious 60s and 70s cult films. Yeah, Malibu Express is a very poor James Bond kind of spy-comedy with nude scenes almost every other second, of course to make the viewer "forget" that he watches a rather terrible film, but when babes like Sybil Danning shows up, who care about quality and having a good plot, right?  Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) is probably one of the most fun and sexiest action titles of the late 80s and contains every thing that a b-movie fan could want, by including hilarious bad guys, cheesy one-liners, a giant mutant snake that keeps popping up all of the time, and who could forget about the great Molokai, which gets mentioned at least somewhere between 30-50 times or more, and of course the most important ingredience in a Andy Sidaris production: lots of big titted ex-Playboy bunnies with huge guns, who loves to show of their goods as frequently as possible. This one is really "good" and includes some of the most hilarious action-sequences of it's era: And as every good craptastic movie, it also packs it's very own and highly fantastic cheesy theme song |
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Post by stefancrosscoe on Feb 28, 2017 12:29:42 GMT
Then you have 90s "classics" such as Skyscraper (1996) which obviously were one of the far too many and very lousy Die Hard rip-offs, but still managed to be a highly entertaining in all of its c-movie standard glory, and probably stands as Anna Nicole Smith's "best" film.
But one of my all time favorite craptastic action films were the product by the movie company known as PM Entertainment, who kept on making very entertaining low-budget crap throughout most of the late 80s and up till the mid 90s, with several martial arts titles, action films and the typical b-movie erotic thrillers and including "big" names such as Cynthia Rothrock, Lorenzo Lamas and Jeff Wincott.
Still I would love to see b-movies like that being made as of today, there are very few that even comes close to be that funny and memorable.
L.A. Heat (1989), one of many Miami Vice or Lethal Weapon b-movie action clones, that somehow managed to mess it up so much it actually became a far better or enjoyable film than anyone involved in the making could ever dream of.
It is so cheap and badly done, that I had to re-wind several of the scenes when I got the scandinavian DVD version back in 2005, as I could not believe what I was watching.
Throughout most of the films run, one can clearly hear the director speak and shout several times:
"CUT!", "ACTION!", "GO!", "NOW!", "DOOR!"
And in some scenes you can hear the director telling the actors what to do and say.
I might have mixed this part up with one the sequels. Yeah you heard right, SEQUELS, as this movie impressed the producers so much that they decided to make 3 or 4 films more, and I think even a very shortlived TV-series.
Anyway, In one scene the main hero is seen talking to his angry boss on his mobile phone (who is far away of course), but then you can clearly hear the voice of the actor playing the boss reading his lines in the background, while the hero talks to him.
But the highlight in L.A. Heat has to be the films "explosive" foot chase.
Detective Jon Chance runs like a maniac after some bad guy in a wild chase that last about 5-6 minutes.
But then you begin to question, did I just have a deja vu?
Because I can swear I saw these guys run around the building, with the same neon signs at least 3-4 times in a row.
I guess they only were allowed to shoot at a certain place and they decided that no one would probably take notice, so they just had the actors running around in circles 3-4 times instead.
In some of the more action filled scenes the bad guys are so eager to die that they go down long before they are even hit.
It's like everybody really tried their best to screw this film up, but I am kind of glad, as it works as a crapalicious action-movie gem.
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Post by kaasa on Feb 28, 2017 12:57:22 GMT
I came across this movie thanks to IMDb's message boards. The movie is The Stabilizer (1986). I've never seen it but reading the reviews made it sound so hilariously bad.
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Post by lostinlimbo on Mar 3, 2017 2:02:01 GMT
stefancrosscoe I know... "Miami Connection" isn't cheap, and sadly it's out-of-print. When you get your hands on it. You're in for a treat. There's nothing quite like your first-time viewing for these type of films. Sure they're still fun to rewatch, but they never quite have the same effect as your first experience. Of those you mentioned I've only seen "Skyscraper". I should check out those Sidaris' films. Another one; Kill Squad (1982) - "Joseph Needs you"! Don't you love it when everyone, that's everyone including joe blow on the streets knows martial arts. Plenty of strutting and kung-fu.
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Post by stefancrosscoe on Mar 6, 2017 14:32:04 GMT
Killer Squad and The Stabilazor, seems like my kind of entertainment.  By the way, have any of you guys seen the No Retreat, No Surrender films? I guess the first one is the most "famous" as it feature (with Van Damme as the baddie) and has a kind of a b-movie Karate Kid theme, with a young teenager being trained up by the ghost of Bruce Lee. Even though the first one does come with an solid portion of cheese, I kind of feel the series really began to take off with the second one (better action/fighting scenes), and later on with my personal favorite being the third film, Blood Brothers (1990). It is actually an incredible b-movie martial art/action adventure that comes with one of the best final fights ever made.
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Post by lostinlimbo on Mar 7, 2017 4:56:04 GMT
I've watched original No Retreat, No Surrender before, and wasn't all that taken by it. Except for a couple of scenes. Although I've heard a lot of people actually talking up the sequels over the original.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2017 18:37:26 GMT
The 70s martial arts classic "Death Machines" fits the cheesy bill.
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Post by stefancrosscoe on Mar 9, 2017 13:37:41 GMT
Lady Terminator (1989), actually a really crappy (but in a good way) made b-movie "Terminator" but instead of having Arnie running the show, you have a fantastic looking babe going around killing people in every kind of freaky/violent way, and of course as cheesy and over-the-top as possible.
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Post by lostinlimbo on Mar 10, 2017 1:50:13 GMT
The 70s martial arts classic "Death Machines" fits the cheesy bill. I got that one on my watchlist. |
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Post by lostinlimbo on Mar 10, 2017 1:59:19 GMT
Lady Terminator (1989), actually a really crappy (but in a good way) made b-movie "Terminator" but instead of having Arnie running the show, you have a fantastic looking babe going around killing people in every kind of freaky/violent way, and of course as cheesy and over-the-top as possible. Oh, yes! Lousyily made, but Barbara Anne Constable looks good in leather, daft dialogues, non-stop action and what a body count. Entertainingly schlock. |
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Post by lostinlimbo on Mar 10, 2017 2:12:26 GMT
"You can't do nothing right, Cooper! You stupid sonofabitch! You should have been destroyed at birth! That's what I get for teaming up with a hippie!". That's just one of many amusingly dumb dialogues from Raw Force (1982).
An ineptly staged action-horror exploitation that throws around so many crazy and demented ideas. Nazis, cannibal monks and zombie ninjas on a deserted island. Also include marital arts, tacky gore and strip dancing. And not to forget, Cameron Mitchell makes an appearance too.
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Post by medjay on Mar 10, 2017 11:34:46 GMT
Bloodmatch 1991, great premise cheesy execution.
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Post by mitchell1975 on Mar 10, 2017 13:31:22 GMT
Lady Terminator (1989), actually a really crappy (but in a good way) made b-movie "Terminator" but instead of having Arnie running the show, you have a fantastic looking babe going around killing people in every kind of freaky/violent way, and of course as cheesy and over-the-top as possible. The action is really well done though, so its not crappy in that way |
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Post by stefancrosscoe on Mar 10, 2017 14:02:29 GMT
Yeah, the action sequences was actually impressive for this kind of film, I agree with you on that.
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Post by lostinlimbo on Mar 16, 2017 4:41:00 GMT
A sequel without an original?! Well, that's the grindhouse treat The Executioner, Part II (1984) for ya. It's awful and inept, but bizarrely hypnotic. Plenty of hilarious, sloppy action moments involving our crazy vietnam vet and incomprehensible dialogues. Aldo Ray also shows up.
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Post by RedDeadFallout on Mar 16, 2017 23:46:15 GMT
I love Samurai Cop and Miami Connection, I can't imagine the sequel to Samurai Cop will be as perfectly bad.
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Post by sostie on Mar 17, 2017 10:58:31 GMT
I have a real soft spot for those 80s straight to video Mad Max 2/Escape From New York rip-offs - Bronx Warriors, New Barbarians, Atlantis Interceptors etc
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Post by rateater on Mar 18, 2017 1:22:32 GMT
sakura killers
good ol chuck connors action
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Post by lostinlimbo on Mar 18, 2017 3:31:21 GMT
sakura killers good ol chuck connors action Ha... nice one! Connors with a shotgun blasting some ninjas and brainless dialogues. If I remember correctly this is the one where ninjas steal a beta tape labelled top secret. |
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