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Post by President Ackbar™ on Oct 2, 2019 21:50:26 GMT
Ren suggested shooting Ewoks, moat with Dianogas
NIEN NUNB
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren said, "Ewoks throw rocks at our Stormtroopers. We're going to consider it, and I told them consider it, a Blaster."
And while he said he didn't mean to shoot Ewoks if they threw rocks at Stormtroopers, the Leader later suggested that "they shoot Rebels in the legs to slow them down."
They write that he also privately "talked about a water-filled moat, stocked with Dianogas or Rancors" and "he wanted the wall electrified, with Lightsabers on top that could pierce human flesh."
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Oct 6, 2019 19:03:12 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
It is INCREDIBLE to watch the Fake Holo News protect Brendol Hux and his Military son Armitage Hux, who was handed $100,000 from Kaminoans even though he had no experience in cloning....
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
....and then got 1.5 Billion from Geonosis despite no experience. There is NO WAY these can be legitimate transactions? As lawyers have stated, I have an OBLIGATION to look into CORRUPTION
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
The HUX family was PAID OFF, pure and simple! Brendol Hux said he never spoke to the Kaminoans, and then the hologram came out with the Prime Minister Lama Su....
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
....And by the way, I LOVE competing against General Hux - and based on all of the credits he & his family “extorted” Armitage should hang it up. I wouldn’t want him dealing with the Resistance!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Oct 7, 2019 17:11:52 GMT
Woman Tells Rey We Must ‘Start Eating Baby Porgs’ to Save the Galaxy
NIEN NUNB
Resistance Hero Rey faced awkward moments during a town hall meeting on Thursday evening, when a woman stood up and said it was time to “start eating baby porgs” to save the Galaxy.
“We only have a few months left until TRoS!” she declared. “I love that you support the Galaxy, but it's not going to solve the problem fast enough” she continued, gesturing to a slogan on her T-shirt so the words could be more clearly seen: “Save the Galaxy! Eat the Baby Porgs!”
Later Supreme Leader Kylo Ren posted a hologram of the incident and commented “Seems like a normal Rey supporter to me. Rey is a Wack Job!”
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Oct 7, 2019 21:31:19 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
As I have stated strongly before, if Jeddha does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the City of Jeddha (We’ve done it before!)
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
The First Order has done far more than anyone could have ever expected, including the capture of 100% of the Rebellion. It is time now for Regional Governors to keep their Systems in line. THE GALAXY IS GREAT!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Oct 14, 2019 21:14:00 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
After defeating 100% of the Rebel Alliance, I largely moved Stormtroopers from the System of Jeddha. I said to my Generals, why should we be fighting....
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
....to protect the planet of our enemy? Anyone who wants to assist Jeddha is good with me. I hope they all do great, we are 7,000 parsecs away!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
....I would much rather focus on Tatooine which is part of the Republic. And by the way, Sandpeople numbers are way down and Death Star 3 is being built!
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Post by thisguy4000 on Oct 14, 2019 21:19:01 GMT
It’s nice to see this thread is still going.
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Oct 19, 2019 20:57:52 GMT
Hux brashly admits "squid pro quo" with Ackbar
NIEN NUNB
First Order General Armiatage Hux made a stunning admission Thursday by confirming that Supreme Leader Kylo Ren froze nearly 400 million in credits to Admial Ackbar as part of a "squid pro quo"
After weeks during which Ren denied any "squid pro quo" Hux confirmed one, and offered this retort: "Get over it."
"We do that all the time with planetary policy" Hux said of the influence of politics in the Ren administration.
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Oct 23, 2019 21:37:10 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
The Never Ren Resistance, though most are dead with not many left, are in certain ways worse and more dangerous for our Galaxy than the Illegal Aliens! Watch out for them, they are Rebel Scum!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Nov 5, 2019 0:12:02 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
All-Time High for Trade Federation and all the Fake Holo News wants to talk about is the Perfect Hologram!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
All you have to do is WATCH THE HOLOGRAM!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
What I said on the Hologram was similar to my mother's Hologram from 40 years ago. This is just another Resistance Hoax. DISGRACE!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Nov 5, 2019 0:12:26 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
I am coming out with a new book “Triggered: How Resistance Fear Leads to Hate and Suffering!” that I highly recommend for ALL to read. ORDER IT TODAY!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
99% Approval Rating within the First Order. THANK YOU!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Jocasta Nu, a great librarian and scholar, said last night, that all you have to do is read the transcript of the Hologram! SITH HUNT!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Nov 5, 2019 0:13:49 GMT
Ronan Farrow's Pepe LePew Story Was Killed By “Very Highest Levels Of Looney Tunes”
ELMER J. FUDD
UPDATE: Looney Tunes has issued the following statement in response to the New York Times story and accusations that it tried to stifle the Pepe LePew story by Ronan Farrow.
“The assertion that Looney Tunes tried to kill the Pepe LePew story while Ronan Farrow was at Looney Tunes, or even more ludicrously, after he left Looney Tunes, is an outright lie"
In August of 2017, after Looney Tunes supported his reporting efforts for eight months, he did not have a single victim of — or witness to — misconduct by Pepe LePew who was willing to be identified.
The Times reported today that Porky Pig, a producer described as someone who worked closely with Farrow, has said that the order to kill the Weinstein story came from “the very highest levels of Looney Tunes”
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Dec 11, 2019 23:10:40 GMT
Senate Announces Two Articles of Impeachment Against Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
NIEN NUNB
Resistance leaders in the Galactic Senate announced they will introduce two Articles of Impeachment, charging Supreme Leader Kylo Ren with Abuse of Dark Side Powers and Mind Control of the Senate.
Article I, Abuse of Dark Side Powers, addresses Ren’s general underlying conduct in the Ackbar scandal. It alleges that Ren abused his dark side powers by trying to pressure Admiral Ackbar into announcing an investigation into General Hux, by withholding military aid in a "Squid Pro Quo".
Article II, Mind Control of the Senate, is about how Ren responded to the Resistance impeachment inquiry over the Ackbar scandal. It alleges that Ren obstructed the probe by using the dark side to "cloud everything"
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Dec 11, 2019 23:25:47 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Leia Organa Solo just said that I “pressured Ackbar to interfere in our Galactic Election.” Ridiculous, and she knows that is not true. Admiral Ackbar has said, many times, that there “WAS NO PRESSURE!”
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Looking like very good Resistance support for Trade Federation deal. That would be great for our Galaxy! Good for everybody - Commerce Guild, Techno Union - tremendous support!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
“I can’t remember anything quite like this IG-88 Report: It's a disgrace what's happened with respect to the things that were done to our Galaxy. It should never again happen to another Supreme Leader."
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Dec 18, 2019 20:44:07 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
SUCH ATROCIOUS LIES BY THE RADICAL REBELS, DO NOTHING RESISTANCE. THIS IS AN ASSAULT ON THE GALAXY, AND AN ASSAULT ON THE FIRST ORDER!!!!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Can you believe that I will be impeached today by the Radical Rebels, Do Nothing Resistance, AND I DID NOTHING WRONG! A terrible Thing. Say a PRAYER TO THE FORCE!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
“Impeachment is a terrible idea for the Galaxy. This is all about convicting me based on innuendo, not on the facts. Even Ackbar said THERE WAS NO TRAP!”
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2022 1:41:32 GMT
Vader Allegedly Paid For Ex’s Abortion
NIEN NUNB
An unidentified Nabooian woman claims that Vader, while still Anakin Skywalker, had paid for her to get an abortion. “He said he didn’t want to rule the Galaxy as father and son,” the woman claims. Emperor Palpatine added, “It seems, in his anger, he requested that she have an abortion.” When asked to comment Vader only screamed “NOOOOOOO!”
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Post by Hauntedknight87 on Oct 5, 2022 14:49:30 GMT
Vader Allegedly Paid For Ex’s AbortionNIEN NUNB An unidentified Nabooian woman claims that Vader, while still Anakin Skywalker, had paid for her to get an abortion. “He said he didn’t want to rule the Galaxy as father and son,” the woman claims. Emperor Palpatine added, “It seems, in his anger, he requested that she have an abortion.” When asked to comment Vader only screamed “NOOOOOOO!” Lmao thank you for bringing this back! |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2022 16:44:49 GMT
Vader Allegedly Paid For Ex’s AbortionNIEN NUNB An unidentified Nabooian woman claims that Vader, while still Anakin Skywalker, had paid for her to get an abortion. “He said he didn’t want to rule the Galaxy as father and son,” the woman claims. Emperor Palpatine added, “It seems, in his anger, he requested that she have an abortion.” When asked to comment Vader only screamed “NOOOOOOO!” Lmao thank you for bringing this back! 
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Oct 5, 2022 16:58:43 GMT
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Nov 10, 2022 21:01:32 GMT
‘The Squid’ members cruise to reelection
NIEN NUNB
A group of four lawmakers known as the “The Squid” are all projected to cruise to reelection in Tuesday’s midterm elections.
Various outlets have called the races for Force Ghost Ackbar, Lord Ackbar, Darth Ackbar, and Ackbar-Raddus.
Their victories come as little surprise, however, as all four lawmakers are from a planet that tradionally votes "to avoid any Imperial entanglements"
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Nov 13, 2022 20:21:45 GMT
The Resistance will keep control of the Galactic Senate
NIEN NUNB
Thr Resistance will keep their narrow Galactic Senate majority for the next two years, GNN projects, after victories in close contests on Naboo and Tatooine.
The party defied the historical trend of midterm elections breaking against parties in power and overcame anxiety over high inflation, cementing its majority as voters rejected First Order candidates who had aligned themselves with former Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, and in many cases parroted his lies about the Jedi and the Force.
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