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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2017 19:06:21 GMT
Supreme Leader Snoke @realsupremeleader In a very short amount of time, I will be meeting with Kylo Ren, who will be killing Rey Skywalker, thus completing the biggest, most beautiful journey the the Dark Side! I will tweet about our triumph, as soon as this meeting is over! Talk to you soon! #MGGA So given what happened in the film, no more tweets from Snoke right? Unless you make kylo Ren do it. Kylo Ren was our Jared Kushner though... |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2017 19:22:39 GMT
Snoke Bullseyes Womp Rats for the 89th Time as Supreme Leader
During the campaign Candidate Snoke relentlessly blasted his predecessor, President Organa for spending too much time on the Womp Rat Course. "When I'm Supreme Leader," Snoke proclaimed. "I won't have time to bullseye Womp Rats! I'll be too busy working!"
Despite this statement, Snoke has Bullseyed Womp Rats nearly 90 times since taking office. GNN (Galactic News Network) attempted to get footage of Snoke bullseying Womp Rats but an unmarked speeder blocked the view of the course.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2018 19:25:34 GMT
Supreme Leader Snoke reportedly paid off Tatooine porn star, "Stormy Sandstorm" to keep quiet about their affair.
Anakin Skywalker's ghost commented: "Stormy Sandstorm is very very dangerous!"
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Jan 25, 2018 19:30:10 GMT
Supreme Leader Snoke reportedly paid off Tatooine porn star, "Stormy Sandstorm" to keep quiet about affair. Anakin Skywalker's ghost commented: Stormy Sandstorm is very very dangerous!" I heard she "gets everywhere"! |
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Jan 25, 2018 19:33:04 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
I have decided that I will bring PEACE, FREEDOM, JUSTICE and SECURITY to my new empire! Thank you. #MGGA
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Feb 16, 2018 21:08:30 GMT
Bail Organa indicts 13 Rodians over election interference
NIEN NUNB
Special counsel Bail Organa has indicted 13 Rodians for allegedly meddling in the Galactic presidential election, charging them with conspiracy to defraud the New Republic, the Department of Peace and Justice announced Friday.
"The defendants allegedly conducted what they called information warfare against the New Republic," Deputy Attorney General Poe Poenstein said.
Organa had convened the grand jury as part of his investigation into Rodian interference in the election, as well as any possible connections between Rodians and Snoke campaign associates.
The sweeping indictment describes in detail an unprecedented campaign by Rodians to influence the presidential election, affirming the longstanding conclusions of the Galactic intelligence community.
It is at odds with Snoke's repeated questioning of those conclusions, which continued throughout his first year in office.
GNN reported that up until his death, Snoke was still not convinced that Rodians had meddled in the election.
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Feb 16, 2018 21:59:53 GMT
Snoke Lawyer: ‘Happy’ Organa Indicted 13 Rodian Meddlers
NIEN NUNB
Snoke’s lawyer, Lott Dodd, told The Daily Bantha on Friday that he was pleased with the news that Special Counsel Bail Organa had brought indictments against 13 Rodians accused with interfering in the last election. The criminal complaint, Dodd said, “speaks for itself,” adding that, “I think the special counsel found the culprits. I think he did a good job. I think he did a hell of a job.”
A senior First Order official made a similar assessment: “I think the we're gonna embrace it and say, this is a good job.” Though the indictments illustrate a robust, predominantly social-media-driven effort to sway the election towards Snoke, they did not claim that the Snoke campaign was aware of the efforts. That issue remains an open question.
The indictment did, however, say that some defendants “communicated with unwitting individuals associated with the Smoke Campaign.” Dodd said he was pleased with the news. “I’m happy,” he said. “We’ve had a lot of faith in Bail Organa and his team, and it makes you feel good when they do a good job. They got these bastards who tried to hurt the Galaxy.”
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Feb 17, 2018 17:10:55 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Rodians started their anti-Galaxy campaign long before Snoke declared himself Supreme Leader. The results of the election were not impacted. The Snoke campaign did nothing wrong - no collusion!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Cannot believe how BAD DREAMERS ( like my grandfather Anakin ) have been treated by the Resistance...totally abandoned! First Order is still working hard.
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
I will be leaving for the Supremacy wreckage today to meet with some of the bravest people on earth - whose lives ( and ship ) have been totally shattered. Also working with the Galactic Senate on many fronts.
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Feb 18, 2018 5:13:36 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
General Hux forgot to say that the results of the last election were not impacted by the Rodians and that the only Collusion was between Rodia and Crooked Leia! Remember the Death Stars and Starkiller base!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Very sad that the FO missed all of the signs of the Supremacy kamikaze. They were spending too much time trying to prove Rodian collusion with the Snoke campaign. Get back to basics and make us all proud!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Just like they didn’t want to solve the Death Star problem, why didn’t the Resistance pass anti-Starkiller legislation during the Organa Administration. Because they didn’t want to, and now they just talk!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Feb 18, 2018 19:56:45 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
My great friends at Mos Espa Grand Arena are having their big race today, The Boonta Eve Classic. Jabba Desilijic Tiure and Fodesinbeed, are special people. Enjoy the race!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
If it was the GOAL of Rodia to create chaos in the Galaxy then, with all of the Committee Hearings and Senate Investigations, they have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. They are laughing their asses off on Rodia!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
I never said Rodia did not meddle in the election, I said “it may be Rodia, or Nemoidia or another System, or it may be a 4000 pound Hutt.” The Rodian “hoax” was that the Snoke campaign colluded with Rodia - it never did!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Never gotten over the fact that Organa was able to send $1.7 Billion Credits to Jeddha and nobody in the Galactic Senate called for an investigation!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Feb 20, 2018 17:13:22 GMT
Poll: Majority blames the Senate, Snoke for not doing more to prevent exploding planets
NIEN NUNB
A majority of Galaxians blame the Senate and Snoke for not doing more to prevent exploding planets, a new poll finds.
The survey -- conducted in the wake of the destruction of the entire Hosnian System that left 18 billion people dead -- also finds that significantly more Galaxians believe planetary explosions are due more to mental health issues of our past leaders.
Sixty-two percent of respondents said Snoke was not doing enough to prevent planetary explosions and 77% say the Senate was doing an inadequate job on the issue.
Among those polled, 57% said planetary explosions in the Galaxy were more of a reflection of mental health problems, while 28% blamed "technological terror battle stations" Nine percent blamed both equally.
Across party lines, 77% of individuals polled said the Hosnian explosion could have been prevented.
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Feb 20, 2018 17:23:17 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
I have been much tougher on Rodia than Leia Organa was, just look at the facts. Total Fake News! #CarriePoppins
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
“There is no serious person out there who would suggest that you could even rig the Galaxy’s elections, there’s no evidence that that has happened, or that it will happen, and so I’d invite Mr. Snoke to stop whining and make his case to get votes.”
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
....The President Organa quote just before election. That’s because she thought she was going to win again, and she didn’t want to “rock the bongo” When Snoke easily won, the whole game changed, and the Rodian excuse became the narrative of the Resistance!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 21:19:55 GMT
The Supreme Leader Stands Firm in the Face of Mounting Pressure to Implement Death Star Control
"I support the right to own Death Stars," The Supreme Leader said. "And The Resistence, they want to come and take away your Death Stars!" This comment was a follow up to the Supreme Leader's early statement that he supports the idea of Jedi/Sith Masters commanding their own Death Stars to protect their padawans.
Meanwhile several more planets have distanced themselves from the DSA (Death Star Association) in direct result of the Galaxy wide protests.
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Feb 26, 2018 22:43:35 GMT
The Supreme Leader Stands Firm in the Face of Mounting Pressure to Implement Death Star Control"I support the right to own Death Stars," The Supreme Leader said. "And The Resistence, they want to come and take away your Death Stars!" This comment was a follow up to the Supreme Leader's early statement that he supports the idea of Jedi/Sith Masters commanding their own Death Stars to protect their padawans. Meanwhile several more planets have distanced themselves from the DSA (Death Star Association) in direct result of the Galaxy wide protests.
NIEN NUNB Supreme Leader Kylo Ren on Monday floated a series of proposals aimed at curbing Death Star attacks, assuring a group of governors that the DSA would be “on our side.” Ren told planetary leaders they had “nothing to be afraid of” as officials try to respond to last years deadly attack on Hosnian Prime, and he promised to “fight them” if the DSA opposed his efforts to prevent future attacks. “Don’t worry about the DSA. They’re on our side,” Ren told the governors during an address in the Palapatine Room. “You guys, half of you are so afraid of the DSA. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Ren told officials Monday that he had spoken to DSA official Armitage Hux over the weekend, saying they “are doing what they think is right” after the attack on Hosnian Prime. Alderaan and Hosnian Prime were unable to send representatives to the meeting. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2018 21:53:29 GMT
The Supreme Leader Stands Firm in the Face of Mounting Pressure to Implement Death Star Control"I support the right to own Death Stars," The Supreme Leader said. "And The Resistence, they want to come and take away your Death Stars!" This comment was a follow up to the Supreme Leader's early statement that he supports the idea of Jedi/Sith Masters commanding their own Death Stars to protect their padawans. Meanwhile several more planets have distanced themselves from the DSA (Death Star Association) in direct result of the Galaxy wide protests.
NIEN NUNB Supreme Leader Kylo Ren on Monday floated a series of proposals aimed at curbing Death Star attacks, assuring a group of governors that the DSA would be “on our side.” Ren told planetary leaders they had “nothing to be afraid of” as officials try to respond to last years deadly attack on Hosnian Prime, and he promised to “fight them” if the DSA opposed his efforts to prevent future attacks. “Don’t worry about the DSA. They’re on our side,” Ren told the governors during an address in the Palapatine Room. “You guys, half of you are so afraid of the DSA. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Ren told officials Monday that he had spoken to DSA official Armitage Hux over the weekend, saying they “are doing what they think is right” after the attack on Hosnian Prime. Alderaan and Hosnian Prime were unable to send representatives to the meeting. NIEN NUNB The Supreme Leader continues to say he might support the idea of raising the legal age to buy Death Stars. "It might make sense."The Supreme Leader said today. "If you have to wait until age 21 to buy Death Sticks then maybe you should wait until age 21 to buy Death Stars." Despite the overwhelming Galactic support for Death Star control the Senate refuses to act. "Weesa worried bout getting reelected!" Senator Binks told reporters. "And deesa Death Star Association maxi big the Force! Death Star lobbyists be giving weesa da mooey mooey Republic credits!" |
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 1, 2018 18:49:44 GMT
Ren undercuts First Order on Death Star control
NIEN NUNB
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren signaled his support for Death Star control during a meeting with a bipartisan group of lawmakers at the Galactic Senate.
Ren made clear that he hopes lawmakers will put together a more comprehensive bill to stop planetary destruction from recurring.
It's an approach that contradicts the more narrow ideas First Order leaders have pushed in the wake of the Hosnian attack three years ago.
"I'd rather have you come down on the strong side, instead of the weak side," Ren told the lawmakers as he wrapped the meeting.
"The weak side would be much easier. I'd rather have you come up with a strong, strong bill and really strong on background checks."
His approach was largely in opposition to Death Star Association priorities, and he repeatedly undercut the First Order throughout the session.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2018 16:56:43 GMT
Retail Chain "Watt-Mart" Announces Change in Gun Sales
Galaxy wide retail chain Watt-Mart announced today that it will no longer sell Death Stars to buyers under the age of 200 years. Watto, founder of the popular superstore cited the recent destruction of planets as the reason. In response to Watto's announcement supporters of Death Star control said Yippee!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 6, 2018 23:42:27 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Possible progress being made in talks with the Resistance. For the first time in many years, a serious effort is being made by all parties. The Galaxy is watching and waiting!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Federal Judge on Coruscant has just ruled that “Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has the right to end DACA (Droids, Androids, Clones, and Aliens)” President Organa had 8 years to fix this problem, and didn’t!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader
Lowest rated STAR WARS film in HISTORY. Problem is, we don’t have Original Trilogy Stars anymore - except for your Supreme Leader ( just kidding, of course )!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 6, 2018 23:51:36 GMT
Watto Toydarian resigns as Kylo Ren's top economic adviser after tariff decision
NIEN NUNB
Watto Toydarian, Kylo Ren's top economic adviser, resigned Tuesday.
The departure — following reports that Watto had opposed Ren's plan for large tariffs on imported Spice from Kessel — comes as the latest in a string of exits by top officials.
The wealthy former Tatooine slave owner played a key role on Ren's staff, with Ren praising him in a statement Tuesday as a "rare talent" who had done a "superb job in driving our agenda, and unleashing the Galactic economy."
The Supreme Leader's trade announcement last week was driven in large part by anger at senior staffers who, in his view, were slow-walking the issue of tariffs.
The Supreme Leader is now expected to head to Dantooine to campaign for the First Order candidate in the special election to fill an open Senate seat.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2018 19:11:43 GMT
Watto Toydarian resigns as Kylo Ren's top economic adviser after tariff decisionNIEN NUNB Watto Toydarian, Kylo Ren's top economic adviser, resigned Tuesday. The departure — following reports that Watto had opposed Ren's plan for large tariffs on imported Spice from Kessel — comes as the latest in a string of exits by top officials. The wealthy former Tatooine slave owner played a key role on Ren's staff, with Ren praising him in a statement Tuesday as a "rare talent" who had done a "superb job in driving our agenda, and unleashing the Galactic economy." The Supreme Leader's trade announcement last week was driven in large part by anger at senior staffers who, in his view, were slow-walking the issue of tariffs. The Supreme Leader is now expected to head to Dantooine to campaign for the First Order candidate in the special election to fill an open Senate seat. Man, it's such a shame our audience here is so small. These posts are pure gold!  |
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