|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 7, 2018 21:44:12 GMT
Watto Toydarian resigns as Kylo Ren's top economic adviser after tariff decision Man, it's such a shame our audience here is so small. These posts are pure gold!
|
|
|
Post by Hauntedknight87 on Mar 8, 2018 12:14:10 GMT
This is still the best thread of this entire site.
One of these days I'll have to join in as palpatine.
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 12, 2018 18:09:39 GMT
Oola Twilek offers to return 'hush agreement' money to speak freely
NIEN NUNB
Adult dancer Oola Twilek is offering to return the $130,000 Republic credits she received from Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's attorney in exchange for dissolving a so-called "Hush Agreement."
Last month, Armitage Hux said he paid $130,000 of his own credits to Oola Twilek, whose real name is Gertrude Bertha Twilekova, ahead of the last election in exchange for her silence regarding an alleged sexual encounter with Kylo Ren.
Twilekova's attorney, Bib Fortuna, sent Hux a letter offering to wire $130,000 by Friday to an account designated by the Supreme Leader. In exchange, the settlement agreement between Twilekova, Ren, and Hux's company would be "deemed null and void in their entirety."
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 12, 2018 19:26:07 GMT
Leia Organa Solo @leiaorganasolo "To all the little girls watching STAR WARS... never doubt that you are valuable and powerful in the Force & deserving of every chance & opportunity in the Galaxy!"
Leia Organa Solo @leiaorganasolo Besides selling delicious Wookie Cookies, the @galaxyscouts are preparing the next generation of female Senators and Governors. Happy 10,006th Birthday!
Leia Organa Solo @leiaorganasolo Despite Kylo Ren's claims, Trade Federation wars aren't easy to win. His Spice tariffs endanger thousands of jobs on Kessel, from Miners and Loaders to Smugglers!
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 13, 2018 2:16:28 GMT
This is still the best thread of this entire site. One of these days I'll have to join in as palpatine. GIVE THE FAKE NEWS THREAD THE PALPATINE!!!!!!!1!!!!!!1
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 13, 2018 20:25:13 GMT
Ren asking for advice on Oola Twilek situation
NIEN NUNB
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has been seeking counsel from confidantes on how he should handle the Oola Twilek situation, a source tells GNN.
The source said Ren is being told by advisers not to fight Ooola's decision to break a confidentiality agreement, because it would make him look guilty.
This source said it's the only reason Ren has stayed quiet on the issue, and hasn't been tweeting about it.
The source also believes the controversy potentially poses a bigger threat to Ren than the Rodian investigation.
Twilek, an adult dancer whose real name is Gertrude Bertha Twilekova, was paid $130,000 in Republic credits by Ren attorney Armitage Hux.
Because Ren failed to sign the "hush agreement" Twilekova's lawyers said in a lawsuit that the agreement is invalid.
On Monday, Twilekova offered to return the $130,000 in exchange to speak freely about her interactions with Ren.
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 14, 2018 16:26:58 GMT
Resistance poised to upset First Order in Dantooine special election
NIEN NUNB
Resistance candidate Jessica Pava is poised to deliver a stunning upset to the First Order on Dantooine, where Supreme Leader Snoke handily won in 2016.
After a long night of drama, Pava holds a 627-vote lead over First Order candidate Dopheld Mitaka.
With 100% of precincts reporting, Pava received 113,813 votes, or 49.8% of the vote, to Mitaka's 113,186 (49.6%).
There are some remaining votes to be counted, however, including Imperial Navy and Outer Rim ballots, which may currently still be in the Holo-mail.
The First Order has not ruled out the possibility of a recount, which isn't mandatory on Dantooine, but could be requested by the planet with petitions from voters in the next few days.
Pava claimed victory in a speech to her supporters Tuesday night.
"It took a little longer than we thought, but we did it" she said.
"You did it."
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 19, 2018 17:12:49 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader The Bail Organa probe is a total SITH HUNT with massive conflicts of interest! There was NO CRIME AND NO COLLUSION!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader Why does Bail Organa's team have 13 hardened Rebels, some big Crooked Leia supporters, and Zero Imperials? Another Reb recently added...does anyone think this is fair? And yet, there is NO COLLUSION!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader The probe should never have been started in that there was no collusion and there was no crime. It was based on a Fake Hologram paid for by Crooked Leia. Total SITH HUNT!
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 19, 2018 18:21:21 GMT
Kamino Analytica harvested data of 50 million Holonet users
The Coruscant Times and Yavin Observer find the company illegally used data to craft ads supporting Snoke and Ren
Kamino Analytica, a big data company focused on political and commercial ad campaigns, paid for illegally obtained personal information of 50 million Holonet users, according to the Coruscant Times and Yavin Observer.
In response to the reports, the attorney general of Kamino said her office was launching an investigation into the allegations.
The Galactic Senate also announced on Saturday that it will start an investigation "into the circumstances in which Holonet data may have been illegally acquired and used".
Saturday's reports came a day after Holonet said it was suspending Kamino Analytica from its platform after finding that its policies had been violated.
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 19, 2018 21:46:49 GMT
Kylo Ren pushes death penalty for deathstick dealers
NIEN NUNB
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren officially proposed imposing the death penalty for deathstick dealers at Petranaki Arena on Geonosis, arguing that the Republic government is "wasting our time" if it isn't willing to put traffickers to death.
"If we don't get tough on the deathstick dealers, we are wasting our time," Trump told the Petranaki Arena crowd on Geonosis. "And that toughness includes the death penalty."
Ren went on to say that deathstick dealers "will kill thousands of people during their lifetime" but won't be punished for the carnage they cause. He said the punishment would be used against the "big pushers, the ones who are really killing people."
"This is about winning a very, very tough problem and if we don't get very tough on deathstick dealers, it is not going to happen, folks," he said.
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 22, 2018 5:53:49 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader I called President Preedo of Rodia to congratulate him on his election victory (in past Organa called him also) Fake News Media are WRONG! Getting along with Rodia is a good thing, not a bad thing......
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader .....they can help solve problems with the Resistance, the Commerce Guild, and even the Techno Union. Organa tried to get along, but didn’t have the “smarts” PEACE THROUGH STRENGTH!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader I was opposed to Bail Organa as Special Council. There never should have been a Special Council because there was NO PROBABLE CAUSE for any crime, collusion, or obstruction of justice!
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 26, 2018 18:22:33 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader Many lawyers and top law firms want to represent me in the Rodia case...don’t believe the Fake Holo News. Besides, there was NO COLLUSION with Rodia, except by CROOKED LEIA and the REBELS!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader Much can be done with the $1.6 Trillion given to start building more DEATH STARS. It is just a down payment. Work will start IMMEDIATELY. The rest of the money will come - and remember DS1 & DS2!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader Because of the $700 Trillion Dollars to rebuild the IMPERIAL NAVY, many jobs are created. Building a new DEATH STAR, with Aliens and Rebel combatants all over our Galaxy, is all about GALACTIC DEFENSE!
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 27, 2018 20:11:09 GMT
Kylo Ren suggests Imperial Navy foot the bill for new Death Star
NIEN NUNB
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has privately floated the idea of funding construction of a new Death Star through the Imperial Navy budget, in conversations with advisers, two sources confirmed to GNN.
Ren discussed the idea in a private meeting last week with General Armitage Hux, a source familiar with the conversations said, as he reviewed the new Senate spending bill, which does not include funding for construction of a new Death Star.
It was not immediately clear how serious Ren was about pursuing this option, but the move would likely face steep hurdles with appropriators in the Galactic Senate
General Hux declined to weigh in, when asked:
"I can't get into the specifics at this point, but I can tell you that the discussion of building a new Death Star is ongoing, and we're going to continue moving forward in that process" Hux said.
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 28, 2018 21:27:35 GMT
Snoke lawyer floated idea of presidential pardons for Hux and Ren
NIEN NUNB
Supreme Leader Snoke's lawyer, Lott Dodd, floated the possibility last year that he might issue pardons for both men, The Coruscant Times reported on Wednesday, citing three individuals with knowledge of the discussions.
The conversations happened as special counsel Bail Organa "was building cases against both men," the Times reported.
Dodd resigned from the Snoke's legal team earlier this year. In a statement to the Times, Dodd denied the report. "There were no discussions. Period," he said, according to the Times. "As far as I know, no discussions."
He also told the Times that "never during the course of my representation have I had any discussions of pardons of any individual involved in this inquiry."
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Mar 28, 2018 22:18:01 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader I am pleased to announce that I intend to nominate highly respected doctor Too-OneBee (2-1B) as the new Secretary of Veterans Affairs!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader Great briefing this afternoon on the start of our THIRD DEATH STAR!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader Forty years, and everyone said that peace with the Rebel Alliance was not even a small possibility. Now there is a good chance that Leia Organa will do what is right for her people!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader ORDERS 1 THRU 66 WILL NEVER BE REPEALED! As much as Rebels would like to see this happen, NO WAY!
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Apr 2, 2018 16:57:50 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader Tatooine, Jeddha and Jakku must stop the ILLEGAL ALIEN flow, or I will stop their cash cow, NAFTA. NEED DEATH STAR!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader The Core Systems spent trillions building up the Outer Rim, while allowing OUR OWN infrastructure to fall into a state of total disrepair. It's time to REBUILD!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader We are going to REBUILD our crumbling infrastructure, and there is no better place to begin this campaign than in the Great System of Geonosis!
|
|
|
Post by Hauntedknight87 on Apr 2, 2018 17:08:48 GMT
This is still the best thread of this entire site. One of these days I'll have to join in as palpatine. GIVE THE FAKE NEWS THREAD THE PALPATINE!!!!!!!1!!!!!!1 I'm actually working on something. Going to model palp after George W Bush
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Apr 2, 2018 17:10:29 GMT
GIVE THE FAKE NEWS THREAD THE PALPATINE!!!!!!!1!!!!!!1 I'm actually working on something. Going to model palp after George W Bush BRILLIANT!
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Apr 3, 2018 19:38:47 GMT
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader Today, it was my honor to welcome Kaminoan Prime Minister Lama Su! Congratulations on your 1,000th anniversary of independence! #MakinWaves
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader I am right about Alderaan.com costing the Republic Post Office massive amounts of money for being their Smuggler Boy. Alderaan.com should pay and not the Galactic Taxpayer!
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren @newsupremeleader Thank you to Rodia for the honest polling. Just hit 50%, which is higher than Cheatin’ Organa at the same time in her Administration!
|
|
|
Post by President Ackbar™ on Apr 3, 2018 19:48:13 GMT
Ren: 'We're going to be guarding Jeddha with the Navy' until Death Star complete
NIEN NUNB
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren said Tuesday that he's calling on the Imperial Navy to guard Jeddha until his long-promised Death Star is complete.
"I told Jeddha, we're going to be guarding it with the Navy. That's a big step," he said during a luncheon with leaders of Kamino.
Asked to clarify his comments during a joint news conference, Trump said he is "preparing for the military to secure Jeddha" with Hux and others.
Ren has privately floated the idea of funding construction of a new Death Star the Imperial Navy budget in conversations with advisers, two sources confirmed to GNN last week.
This isn't the first time there's been talk of sending Imperial troops to Jeddha.
Under Emperor Palpatine, a deployment of the Navy known as Operation Ronto Rider lasted more than twenty years.
That operation sent 60,000 Stormtroopers to Tatooine, Jakku, and Jeddha.
|
|