Neon Maniac Oof. Lots of these I haven’t seen… Any possibility of another thread in which we can choose the series?
(I can probably write better analyses for, say, the Universal or Hammer monster series, or Charlie Chan, or Philo Vance, or Sherlock Holmes, or… Basically the series from the ‘30s and ‘40s. Or even, for something more modern, the Harry Potter flicks!)
Indiana Jones—
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal SkullNot at all a bad movie—in fact, to the contrary—but I’ll prove my independence by boldly proclaiming my conformity and choosing this one. It’s simply not filled with the joy and verve of the original trilogy and is, in fact, superfluous; the ending of
The Last Crusade, in which the characters ride off into the sunset, closes it out well enough. Not bad, but simply unnecessary. Also, Shia Lebeouf is unbelievably annoying and Karen Allen surprisingly so. Still, Ford and most of the main cast are good enough that this movie, while the weakest of the four, is still quite fun.
Jurassic Park—
The Lost World: Jurassic ParkPerhaps I should refrain from commenting, as I haven’t seen
Jurassic Park III, but with No. 2—as reviewer John Brennan accurately put it—“the story is lame, the dinosaurs tame, and the characters shallow.” Indeed, it consists of little except for actors in poorly-written, characterless parts staring at impressive effects. I was rather surprised, however, at how much I enjoyed
Jurassic World.
Alien—I have, for my sins, only seen the first, which is stellar in both senses of the word. (I couldn’t resist the pun…)
Star Trek—and here I’ve only seen the original series. The other
Star Treks—especially the one with Patrick Stewart, an excellent actor who chooses unfortunate roles—just bore me.
James Bond—a hard one for me, but offhand a tie between
Diamonds Are Forever,
The Man with the Golden Gun, and
Skyfall.
Marvel Cinematic Universe (overall)—
The AvengersA bloated, overlong mess of special effects and pyrotechnics, with little characterization and little fun. I remain dumbfounded at its acclaim.
Marvel Cinematic Universe (Phase 1)—
ThorA very weak entry for the Marvels, uncharacteristically (and uninterestedly) directed by the great Kenneth Branagh.
Marvel Cinematic Universe (Phase 2)—
Thor: The Dark World (of those I’ve seen)
Utterly forgettable—and boring, to boot.
Iron Man—
Iron Man 2I liked Mickey Rourke’s villain, but everything else is an unfortunate follow-up to a very fun first movie. (I liked
Iron Man 3, which cleverly subverted my expectations, a great deal.)
Thor—
Thor: The Dark WorldHulk—probably
The Incredible HulkMr. Norton, a good actor, gives the role neither Eric Bana’s brooding intensity nor Mark Ruffalo’s (or Bill BIxby’s) goofy fun, and the result comes off as another effects-driven mess. The TV series is good fun, and Ang Lee’s
Hulk very enjoyable and thought-provoking indeed (and a surprising inspiration for Zack Snyder’s
Batman v Superman).
Batman—
Batman ForeverA stylistically schizophrenic movie, halfway between the Gothicism of
Batman Returns and the goofiness of
Batman & Robin and, thus, nowhere.
Superman—
Superman IVDC Extended Universe—
Man of SteelA bombastic, brooding, self-serious study in excess.
Back to the Future—
Back to the Future Part IIThe Godfather—
The Godfather: Part IIIThe Mummy—which ones? The Brendan Fraser flicks? Of those, probably
The Mummy Returns? I’m very fond of the first movie, one of the best Indy knock-offs.
Jaws—
Jaws 3-D.
Planet of the Apes—
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Pirates of the Caribbean—
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s EndMen In Black—
Men in Black IIKing Kong—I’ve only seen the original ’33
Kong, the same year’s
Son of Kong, and the 2005 remake; there’s not exactly a bad film in the bunch, but I’d go with the ’05 flick as the weakest of the three.