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Post by Nora on Mar 24, 2018 3:00:26 GMT
mslo79 I meant "does it matter if they want you for face or body" (as the user was complaint they only want her for her body while saying she was told she was ugly). to me if someone "wants me" (i am not talking about wanting my money here) it doesn't really matter to me if they want me for my face or for my body. now if the choice is physical appearance or personality, thats different, and yes like you say, feeling only physical things might not lead to a longer term thing, but thats not what i was talking about, i was talking about a sub-category of wanting someone for their physical attributes (face vs body). There I think it doesn't really matter. To me anyways.
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Post by Utpe on Mar 24, 2018 7:19:53 GMT
Average/ordinary (4 - 6) as a white Caucasian male in their mid-30s.
I'm tall (6'3", or 191 cm for our friends overseas), slender, dirty blonde (high and tight cut), blue eyes with a touch of green, nerdy, wear glasses, beautiful smile, no facial hair, and no piercings/tattoos.
I don't lift weights, so barely any muscle mass. My skin is naturally oily. I do have the occasional pimple here and there, but nothing like when I was a teenager. Most I have is wrinkles on my forehead.
IMO, I think I would easily be able to blend into a crowd of people and go unnoticed.
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Post by mslo79 on Mar 24, 2018 7:54:45 GMT
NoraI was just giving a generalized comment when I brought up the whole 'using someone' aspect as it could be for their face/body/money etc. but if you don't really care about a real relationship then... Yeah, I would agree with you basically if the two don't really care about anything else besides the "getting physical" aspect in which case face or body does not matter much. I think it still depends here... like if both parties just want to "get physical" then at that point they are using each other and don't really care about each other and then 'personality vs physical attributes' don't really matter much. but if one of the two actually wants a relationship and the other is just in it to get 'physical', but plays off like it's all good just to get into the others pants, then the hell with them as that's screwing with someones emotions and is wrong (but I would imagine this happens quite often, or is common enough). but with that said... I am pretty sure I get your point now with the whole 'face vs body' thing, as your purely talking on the visual side alone putting aside any potential relationship stuff etc, in which case I would basically agree with you here. so I guess the core important thing here is, which scenario it is... A)Both parties are just in it to 'get physical' with each other. B)Both parties are in it for a real relationship that hopefully lasts. C)One person is in it to 'get physical' and the other is looking for someone for more of a long term thing if possible. in Example C, the one trying to say anything just to get physical with the one who's looking for more of a real relationship... that's basically wrong. but basically... for those looking for a real relationship with each other then as long as they care for each other then in this case it would not matter too much if one preferred ones body or face a bit more than the other if they find each other attractive overall, like the overall package (face/body/personality and that extra something etc). p.s. I left out the religious aspect there in my examples above because based on those standards, which is what people should be doing, 'getting physical' is wrong until they are legitimately married. but just to play along a bit... I just tried to look at things more from that personal choice/worldly point of view.
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Post by deembastille on Mar 24, 2018 11:28:00 GMT
mslo79 I meant "does it matter if they want you for face or body" (as the user was complaint they only want her for her body while saying she was told she was ugly). to me if someone "wants me" (i am not talking about wanting my money here) it doesn't really matter to me if they want me for my face or for my body. now if the choice is physical appearance or personality, thats different, and yes like you say, feeling only physical things might not lead to a longer term thing, but thats not what i was talking about, i was talking about a sub-category of wanting someone for their physical attributes (face vs body). There I think it doesn't really matter. To me anyways. you can have him then. him and his 29 year old daughter, his 6 year old daughter his 12 year old grandson and his 3 year old grandson who guaranteed has disabilities. and you can have him wanting you for your body and the holes in your body and your money while he guaranteed cheats on you. go for it. i am not nor will i ever BE THAT DESPERATE!
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Post by Nora on Mar 24, 2018 13:22:11 GMT
Average/ordinary (4 - 6) as a white Caucasian male in their mid-30s. I'm tall (6'3", or 191 cm for our friends overseas), slender, dirty blonde (high and tight cut), blue eyes with a touch of green, nerdy, wear glasses, beautiful smile, no facial hair, and no piercings/tattoos. I don't lift weights, so barely any muscle mass. My skin is naturally oily. I do have the occasional pimple here and there, but nothing like when I was a teenager. Most I have is wrinkles on my forehead. IMO, I think I would easily be able to blend into a crowd of people and go unnoticed. from the description it sounds higher than 4 - 6 to me. I feel like the next logical step in this thread would be to post pictures of ourselves but then again, i am guessing nobody would do that….
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Post by Nora on Mar 24, 2018 13:26:40 GMT
mslo79 I meant "does it matter if they want you for face or body" (as the user was complaint they only want her for her body while saying she was told she was ugly). to me if someone "wants me" (i am not talking about wanting my money here) it doesn't really matter to me if they want me for my face or for my body. now if the choice is physical appearance or personality, thats different, and yes like you say, feeling only physical things might not lead to a longer term thing, but thats not what i was talking about, i was talking about a sub-category of wanting someone for their physical attributes (face vs body). There I think it doesn't really matter. To me anyways. you can have him then. him and his 29 year old daughter, his 6 year old daughter his 12 year old grandson and his 3 year old grandson who guaranteed has disabilities. and you can have him wanting you for your body and the holes in your body and your money while he guaranteed cheats on you. go for it. i am not nor will i ever BE THAT DESPERATE! wait but nowhere did i say that the persons own character doesn't matter. and from all the additional information you provided that person seems to have all sorts of issues and has made some quite questionable life choices, so no thanks . I was only talking about that one aspect - "does he feel attracted to me for my face or does or for my body" obviously there is a whole range of things everybody considers before agreeing to date someone. and evaluation of their personality, history etc would be part of that. just for me personally (if i like their personality and the way they behave etc) I dont think it would matter if they like my face or my body, as long as the result is the same.
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Post by Catman on Mar 24, 2018 13:34:11 GMT
Isn't everyone on the Internet a 10?
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Post by deembastille on Mar 24, 2018 13:42:50 GMT
Nora... you saying that 'whats the problem with someone wanting your body/money but nothing else?' IS YOU SAYING A PERSON'S OWN CHARACTER DOESN'T MATTER. AND WHAT YOU SAID in the last part of the first paragraph: IS EXACTLY WHERE I WAS COMING FROM! this was what his mindset was and after 44 years he had no idea he is not evolving as a human being. he is still living like a 16 year old. i don't know if he was attracted to me physically. i mean, how we met was very bizarre... i was waiting for a train at the end of the day and there was a rat on the platform near the forward end of the platform. he just wasn't there he was running back and forth, to the edge of the platform, back to the wall, all over the place and was IN NO WAY BEHAVING LIKE A NORMAL, WELL RAT. i kept an eye on him and waved other subway riders away from the area. then this dude shows up and starts talking to me. i explain what i am worried about and he is all: actually i wanted to talk TO YOU. so for a guy to pinpoint some random person [whom he later tells] 'he thinks is hot' and is willing to try to score a date the way he did... he's thinking of only one thing: s.e.x. so for him saying: i think you are sexy during the first date, it was also obvious he just wanted to score. and he wanted to score easily. ps... all i told you about, was from 1/2 a date. i knew about everything and was okay with everything until i heard about the 10 year old grandson... its obvious that history repeating itself was okay with these people and acceptable.
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Post by Nora on Mar 24, 2018 13:53:19 GMT
Nora ... you saying that ' whats the problem with someone wanting your body/money but nothing else?' IS YOU SAYING A PERSON'S OWN CHARACTER DOESN'T MATTER. sorry but if you dont quote i struggle to see what you are referring to. where did i say 'whats the problem with someone wanting your body/money but nothing else?'
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Post by deembastille on Mar 24, 2018 14:02:51 GMT
Nora ... you saying that ' whats the problem with someone wanting your body/money but nothing else?' IS YOU SAYING A PERSON'S OWN CHARACTER DOESN'T MATTER. sorry but if you dont quote i struggle to see what you are referring to. where did i say 'whats the problem with someone wanting your body/money but nothing else?'
you are essentially saying that wanting your body and only your body is okay. he wanted me before he found out about my career. and he assumed i had money anyway. and it's about what he said. you're hot, not you're pretty or you're interesting. you're. hot.
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Post by Nora on Mar 24, 2018 14:12:01 GMT
sorry but if you dont quote i struggle to see what you are referring to. where did i say 'whats the problem with someone wanting your body/money but nothing else?'
you are essentially saying that wanting your body and only your body is okay.he wanted me before he found out about my career. and he assumed i had money anyway. and it's about what he said. you're not, not you're pretty or you're interesting. you're. hot. no I am not saying that. if you read it that way then I need to clearly say I meant: "if someone is physically attracted to you because of your body VS because of your face - to me it wouldnt really matter which one it is (body or face)" but I am not saying " looks are all that the person needs to like about me". (unless I am looking for a one night stand in which case yeah that would be all i guess). but it all started with you saying you were told you were ugly and also saying you were told you were hot/they liked your body. I just couldn't see how those two statements could be both true (ugly and hot at the same time) but even if so, I was just trying to understand why is it important if they like your face or your body more as long as they are attracted to you. I was deliberately omitting talking about personality because this whole thread was meant to be primarily about looks and I thought it was given that considering personality is a desirable (but for this debate separate) thing. So i think we were both talking about something else. For quite a while now
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Post by deembastille on Mar 24, 2018 14:19:16 GMT
one dude who was living like a 16 year old sex crazed maniac told me i was hot. to get into my pants. which he woefully failed at.
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Post by BATouttaheck on Mar 24, 2018 20:33:08 GMT
Nora re: So i think we were both talking about something else. For quite a while now That happens a LOT. At least this thread has not yet turned into a litany of too much information re: bodily aches/pains and assorted physical function and mal-functions and is still merely too much information about cup sizes and subway platform rats of the two legged and four legged variety. Good luck getting the worms back in the can !
Seriously (and trying to get a little closer to the topic) Off line most people are initially "judged" by their looks. Here there is no possibility of truly believing "they don't like me because of how I look" because here we are visually invisible. Personality will out !
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Post by Nora on Mar 25, 2018 2:15:29 GMT
Nora re: So i think we were both talking about something else. For quite a while now That happens a LOT. At least this thread has not yet turned into a litany of too much information re: bodily aches/pains and assorted physical function and mal-functions and is still merely too much information about cup sizes and subway platform rats of the two legged and four legged variety. Good luck getting the worms back in the can !
Seriously (and trying to get a little closer to the topic) Off line most people are initially "judged" by their looks. Here there is no possibility of truly believing "they don't like me because of how I look" because here we are visually invisible. Personality will out ! hehe i guess i shouldn't have used my own picture in my avatar when i got here . oh well. Anyway, what i was trying to achieve with this thread to get even further beyond the circle of my friends and my normal social bubble and find out how people rate their own looks. seems most people here think they are average looking. thats the perspective i was interested in exploring. of course if there was someone who said there were a ten or a 1 and was willing to talk about why they think that i would be very interested. as i am now working on a project about the way people view themselves and why…
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Post by BATouttaheck on Mar 25, 2018 2:25:56 GMT
NoraSounds like an cool "project". Will be interesting to see how researching it here will work out. Good luck with it !
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2018 6:40:08 GMT
I am not into rating people by numbers ‘cause I think it is shallow but I would say an 8 or an 8 and a half and while I am not one to brag I know how attractive I am. I turned down being a model when I was younger ‘cause it wasn’t something I was interested in doing and I also turned down an offer to be in the ‘Miss Australia’ contest. A lot of my friends used to tell me I could click my fingers and have any guy I wanted and my exes told me things like I was too beautiful for them or I kind of girl that every guy wants which would have been flattering except I was never sexually attracted to men and only wanted to be with one person. Being beautiful is not all it is cracked up to be especially when you grow up in a town and time when most people are closeted and I spent most of my late teens going through depression and wanting to kill myself.
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Post by Nora on Mar 25, 2018 13:55:56 GMT
I am not into rating people by numbers ‘cause I think it is shallow but I would say an 8 or an 8 and a half and while I am not one to brag I know how attractive I am. I turned down being a model when I was younger ‘cause it wasn’t something I was interested in doing and I also turned down an offer to be in the ‘Miss Australia’ contest. A lot of my friends used to tell me I could click my fingers and have any guy I wanted and my exes told me things like I was too beautiful for them or I kind of girl that every guy wants which would have been flattering except I was never sexually attracted to men and only wanted to be with one person. Being beautiful is not all it is cracked up to be especially when you grow up in a town and time when most people are closeted and I spent most of my late teens going through depression and wanting to kill myself. its good to see a woman be aware of her looks. I get that it must have been difficult to hear "you can have any men you want" when you wanted no men, but wouldn't that apply to women as well? (you can have any woman you want)? so if you dont mind answering a couple of questions. if they are too personal to answer I understand. 1. did you ever go through a period of disliking your looks (in any way)? 2. do you think your looks affect the way people treat you? (lets stay with looks only and disregard personality etc) 3. do you now or have you in the past worry (substantially) about losing your looks? 4. before you were told by others how good looking you are (for example had those offers or the statements you mention above) did you view yourself as beautiful? (I am not exploring anyones vanity neither am I interested in shaming anyone, just trying to understand if you were aware of it on your own or it came as a surprising external info) 5. is maintaining your looks something you invest any significant energy/effort to throughout your life? thanks.
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Post by Nora on Mar 25, 2018 13:59:37 GMT
Nora Sounds like an cool "project". Will be interesting to see how researching it here will work out. Good luck with it ! well now we have a full spectrum of answers. which is good. from very ugly to perfect ten, with most thinking they are average. so it kinda represents reality. of course ideally i would love to see also a devision by gender and be able to see their photos (and to make the circle complete you then let a group of strangers rate the photos and then compare which category people fall in A) per their own rating of themselves and B) per the rating of strangers. but this is helpful too.
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Post by ellynmacg on Mar 25, 2018 17:21:38 GMT
Getting older (nearing 68), I'd say a 4-6. Between the ages of 21 and 51, I'd say I was a 7, ocassionally hitting a solid 7, and sometimes an 8. Yep--that pretty well covers it for me...though I am just slightly younger than you, and I'm not sure I would ever have been described as an 8. Well, maybe on my wedding day, since (1) I was happier than usual (not to mention relieved!), and (2) I'd had professional "help" in looking "gawjuss". Still, my husband has always treated me like a 10, and that means more to me than my own opinion.
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Post by marianne48 on Mar 26, 2018 19:55:25 GMT
Women are constantly brainwashed into how their looks are just WRONG, no matter what. If they're slender, they're too skinny. If they're curvy, they're too fat. If their breasts are small and firm, they don't have any; if they're large and full, they're too floppy, etc., etc. It's no longer good enough to have their hair fixed up nicely and wear makeup; now they're pressured into having different areas of their bodies shorn, bleached, waxed, weaved, whatever. Men are usually judged on their power/financial success, so looks are far less important for them, although the cosmetic/beauty industry have been trying their best in recent years to get men interested in cosmetics and spa treatments.
Am I the only woman who prefers normally balding men over the skinhead/ex-con shaved head look?
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