Worst Big-Budget, Major-Studio Hollywood Film Ever Seen

I think this plus Ghostbusters as someone else mentioned would fall under the category "Boring-Bad". A film that is so dull in spite of its poor quality it's a chore to sit through. Other examples I can think of in that category include The Avengers (1998 of course); 10,000 BC; The Spirit; Abduction; The Invasion; or the first Ghost Rider.

Jesus, yes. It was really super. How a nitwit like Scorsese get so tasteful?

Gotta go with "Ishtar" (1987). un-honorable mention to "Gigli" (2003) and "Glitter" 2001.

Interstellar was boring-bad

Well, they pretty much all fail on every front.


Stealth is a kind of "Short Circuit with planes" deal. The US is fielding a new Artificially Intelligent unmanned warplane, and of course it's hit by lightning, and obviously it becomes self aware and starts defying orders.

What most gets me about it is that the military angle is just sooooo stupid. Like, their planes all fly around at like Mach 5. And they all carry like 30 bombs and missiles internally. And have enough range to fly all over the world. It's set in the future so we're supposed to excuse it, but it's sooooo terrible.

On top of that, the drone airplane? It's got a cockpit in it with a pilot's seat. They make some excuse about test flights but the second you see it, you're like "Oh, that's because the hero is going to have to fly it at the end of the movie." And that's just what happens.

Christ, they even play into some of the oldest cliches in the book. One of the three heroes is a white guy, one is a white woman, and one is a black guy. Guess who dies first? Guess who falls in love with who?

But the absolute best (worst) part is when the drone wants to refuel. So it goes to this refuelling balloon (yes, you read that right), but it doesn't have permission to refuel because it's gone nuts. So it... get this... shoots the end off the refuelling probe with its cannon, then sticks the probe into the tattered end of the hose and gets fuel that way.


Pluto Nash is unbelievably bad in every way (both it and stealth are two of the biggest box office bombs of all time, by the way. Stealth lost something like one million dollars per minute of screen time!) It's Eddie Murphy on the moon as this bar tender who gets into trouble with a local crime lord. Lots of shenanigans as he tries to get out from under. It's awful. He's bad in it. The sets look terrible and cheap. The effects look terrible and cheap - this despite the film costing like 100 million to make. He has a robot sidekick that's a guy who talks in this horrible robotic voice...

And there's a twist in the end that is just plain stupid. It really is a legendarily bad movie.


As for The Phantom Menace... Mr Plinkett did it better than I ever could. This is long, very long, but it's also the best takedown of a movie that I have ever seen in my life. He absolutely devastates the movie. Though he does so with this persona of a weird insane serial killer who loves Star Wars but hates this movie, so you have to be in the frame of mind to accept that...



Some highlights :

1) The characters are all flat and boring. He plays a description game with the characters - people describe describe Han Solo as dashing, a rogue, a bad boy, a wannabe tough guy, arrogant, charming, cocksure, a thief with a heart of gold, etc. But try and describe Qui Gon Jinn. Or Padme. the people he talks to literally can't think of anything because he has no character. Nor does anybody else in the movie.

2) There is no protagonist in The Phantom Menace. Seriously, this is writing 101! Who is the protagonist? Annakin? He doesn't show up until 45 minutes into the movie! Qui Gon? Not really. Obi Wan? No. Padme? No. There isn't one!

3) Lucas does nothing to make his movies exciting. Watch how many scenes there are of people just talking to one another. The camera switches between them. One will walk to a window. Or sit on a couch. It's all done slowly, and filmed in the most boring way there is. He contrasts this to a scene in the 2009 Star Trek movie where Chekov has to beam Kirk and Sulu up as they fall. It's an exciting scene, with lots of movement and energy and characters who are obviously responding to a situation with urgency. In TPM we have scenes where people say things like "We must act fast" - and then slowly wander away.

4) The opening crawl announces that the situation arose because of "a dispute over taxation". That's the sum total of explanation that we EVER get about what's happening. We've never even told who is taxing whom, or why, or who is objecting. There is no logic whatsoever to the plot, and every single thing everybody does during the course of the film makes no sense.

And so on. Watch the video, it's well worth it!

What was that awful movie made by the Wachowskis recently? It was so bad it seems I've expunged its title from my memory.

Oh, Jupiter Ascending. That has to be on this list