Archaelogists uncover 20 commandments tablet.
Apr 22, 2018 19:39:43 GMT
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Post by drystyx on Apr 22, 2018 19:39:43 GMT
The forgotten 11-20:
11. If thy hath no black olives, thou hath no pizza. It is an abomination to call it a pizza without black olives.
12. Be afraid when thou heareth of the Trump-Pence coming. No, not the "trumpets", the "Trump-Pence". No I didn't say "trumpets", I said "Trump-Pence"!
13. Thou must never be shipwrecketh on an island without a millionaire, a professor and a hotteth super gorgeous babe named Mary Ann.
14. Thou must be as lightning before the thunder...thunder-thunder-thunder-thunder-thunder..."
15. Thou must knoweth many things, such as the capital of Assyria, the wind speed velocity of an African swallow compared to a European swallow, why a witch weighs the same as a duck, and your favorite color.
16. Such strenuous living, thy don't understand, when in just seven days, I can make you a Maa...aaaaaa...an.
17. Honor thy father so that he may hath a mansion with many bunnies to leaveth thou one day
18. Thou shalt not answer the truth when thy wife asketh thou if that dress maketh her look fat
19. Thou art as a nowhere man, living in thy nowhere land, making all thy nowhere plans for nobody.
20. I knowst what thou thinketh. Did God write twenty commandments, or did thee writeth just nineteen? Well, to telleth thou the truth, in all the confusion, I lost track myself, but seeing as how I haveth lightning bolts to strike thee, thou must asketh thyself one question. Doth thee feel lucky today? Well doth thee, punk?
These are interpreted by the top linguists of today, and are authentic.
11. If thy hath no black olives, thou hath no pizza. It is an abomination to call it a pizza without black olives.
12. Be afraid when thou heareth of the Trump-Pence coming. No, not the "trumpets", the "Trump-Pence". No I didn't say "trumpets", I said "Trump-Pence"!
13. Thou must never be shipwrecketh on an island without a millionaire, a professor and a hotteth super gorgeous babe named Mary Ann.
14. Thou must be as lightning before the thunder...thunder-thunder-thunder-thunder-thunder..."
15. Thou must knoweth many things, such as the capital of Assyria, the wind speed velocity of an African swallow compared to a European swallow, why a witch weighs the same as a duck, and your favorite color.
16. Such strenuous living, thy don't understand, when in just seven days, I can make you a Maa...aaaaaa...an.
17. Honor thy father so that he may hath a mansion with many bunnies to leaveth thou one day
18. Thou shalt not answer the truth when thy wife asketh thou if that dress maketh her look fat
19. Thou art as a nowhere man, living in thy nowhere land, making all thy nowhere plans for nobody.
20. I knowst what thou thinketh. Did God write twenty commandments, or did thee writeth just nineteen? Well, to telleth thou the truth, in all the confusion, I lost track myself, but seeing as how I haveth lightning bolts to strike thee, thou must asketh thyself one question. Doth thee feel lucky today? Well doth thee, punk?
These are interpreted by the top linguists of today, and are authentic.
I love your sense of humor.