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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2018 17:02:48 GMT
I have strange thoughts. I will wake up in a panic around 2am some mornings and cry for a moment because of the realization I will die one day. It's inevitable.
Then I have moments where I think, if it's inevitable, why prolong it? For what purpose?
Then I think, I have Christian beliefs, and would God want me to kill myself? Then I think about afterlife.
Then these dark thoughts come over me, where I think, "What if it is just nothing. No Heaven or Hell."
Just a little while ago I was only sleeping about 4 hours, motivated, cleaning, cooking, over productive at my job and happy. Now, I'm slipping back into depression again. I had to DRAG myself out of bed this morning. I have to drink 5 coffees before 1pm to stay awake and alert. I just want to go home and crawl into bed and sleep. Avoid people.
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Post by The Herald Erjen on Jun 29, 2018 21:12:10 GMT
Based on what you've said here, it sounds as if you are in the beginning stages of waking up. It happens to a lot of people. It happened to me some years ago, and I survived it (obviously). You can too, if you want to. It's kind of like being reborn, only this time you are fully aware, and it hurts.
You might encounter folks who perhaps have the best of intentions, and they might advise you to see a shrink and get a prescription, but I didn't choose to deal with it in that way. I just suffer it. Those drugs only tell the brain a big lie, that everything is fine and beautiful, when really nothing has changed.
And if there were no afterlife, no Heaven or Hell, that would certainly take a lot of the pressure off, but I am convinced that the soul is eternal, and it has to go somewhere when we die.
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Post by goz on Jun 29, 2018 23:24:42 GMT
Based on what you've said here, it sounds as if you are in the beginning stages of waking up. It happens to a lot of people. It happened to me some years ago, and I survived it (obviously). You can too, if you want to. It's kind of like being reborn, only this time you are fully aware, and it hurts. You might encounter folks who perhaps have the best of intentions, and they might advise you to see a shrink and get a prescription, but I didn't choose to deal with it in that way. I just suffer it. Those drugs only tell the brain a big lie, that everything is fine and beautiful, when really nothing has changed. And if there were no afterlife, no Heaven or Hell, that would certainly take a lot of the pressure off, but I am convinced that the soul is eternal, and it has to go somewhere when we die. Waking up to what, and from what? |
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Post by The Herald Erjen on Jun 30, 2018 0:01:40 GMT
Based on what you've said here, it sounds as if you are in the beginning stages of waking up. It happens to a lot of people. It happened to me some years ago, and I survived it (obviously). You can too, if you want to. It's kind of like being reborn, only this time you are fully aware, and it hurts. You might encounter folks who perhaps have the best of intentions, and they might advise you to see a shrink and get a prescription, but I didn't choose to deal with it in that way. I just suffer it. Those drugs only tell the brain a big lie, that everything is fine and beautiful, when really nothing has changed. And if there were no afterlife, no Heaven or Hell, that would certainly take a lot of the pressure off, but I am convinced that the soul is eternal, and it has to go somewhere when we die. Waking up to what, and from what? I'm afraid someone like you wouldn't understand. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2018 0:07:55 GMT
Waking up to what, and from what? I'm afraid someone like you wouldn't understand. Meaning somebody like you doesn't understand either, but doesn't want to admit it. |
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Post by Marv on Jun 30, 2018 0:10:17 GMT
Probably talk to a therapist. Might help. I have a friend who has similar ups and downs and since he’s started going to therapy it’s helped him a ton, he says. Let’s him get his own thoughts and fears and hopes in order by bouncing them off someone else.
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Post by The Herald Erjen on Jun 30, 2018 0:25:43 GMT
Probably talk to a therapist. Might help. I have a friend who has similar ups and downs and since he’s started going to therapy it’s helped him a ton, he says. Let’s him get his own thoughts and fears and hopes in order by bouncing them off someone else. Agreed, as long as the therapist doesn't just set him up with a bottle of happy pills and tell him to beat it. |
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Post by goz on Jun 30, 2018 0:38:19 GMT
Probably talk to a therapist. Might help. I have a friend who has similar ups and downs and since he’s started going to therapy it’s helped him a ton, he says. Let’s him get his own thoughts and fears and hopes in order by bouncing them off someone else. Agreed, as long as the therapist doesn't just set him up with a bottle of happy pills and tell him to beat it. I don't know! It is possible that masturbation may help in these circumstances. |
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Post by goz on Jun 30, 2018 0:45:50 GMT
Waking up to what, and from what? I'm afraid someone like you wouldn't understand. What wouldn't I understand, and why? |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2018 1:01:20 GMT
If 'God' exists, then he, she or it knew that you were going to be in exactly the predicament that you're in now, and knows what you will do next. So whatever your decision, it would be exactly as God willed it to be.
The afterlife serves no useful purpose, because if you're dead you have no desires or needs to be fulfilled, which is effectively as good as it can get anyway. The idea of an afterlife where you can experience eternal bliss, but with no disappointments to contrast against the bliss, makes no sense. It makes no sense that you'll be incapable of being bored with your circumstances, or concerned about your loved ones who were sent to hell (or didn't make the cut for heaven, at a minimum), and yet maintain the same essence of character that you had whilst you lived out your life on Earth.
The best thing that I can advise you is to seriously look into the possibility that your Christian beliefs are false. I found that once I finally abandoned my desires for the supernatural (not a god of any sort, but other magical ways of thinking that made life seem less pedestrian), it was far less painful than trying to hold on to such hopes in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. If you can just find a way to admit to yourself that Christianity is a system of mythology, I believe that, in time, you will be better able to cope with the suffering of existence. When it gets to the stage where you're constantly having to deny reality to yourself just to face living, then facing up to the truth can only help to ease your pain. It worked for me, and perhaps it will work for you. I still obsess over suicide (I want to die, but want to see the day when I can commit suicide as my inalienable right, with the assistance of drugs that are currently not legally obtainable, rather than having to get away with it with whatever risky means that iIcan obtain myself), but I have a more stable and neutral mood.
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Post by The Herald Erjen on Jun 30, 2018 3:00:00 GMT
I'm afraid someone like you wouldn't understand. What wouldn't I understand, and why? You're a materialist. |
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Post by goz on Jun 30, 2018 3:13:53 GMT
What wouldn't I understand, and why? You're a materialist. Why would that make a difference to what I can understand? I may not believe as you do butt I can certainly understand your view! |
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Jun 30, 2018 3:24:53 GMT
I have strange thoughts. I will wake up in a panic around 2am some mornings and cry for a moment because of the realization I will die one day. It's inevitable.
Then I have moments where I think, if it's inevitable, why prolong it? For what purpose?
Then I think, I have Christian beliefs, and would God want me to kill myself? Then I think about afterlife.
Then these dark thoughts come over me, where I think, "What if it is just nothing. No Heaven or Hell."
Just a little while ago I was only sleeping about 4 hours, motivated, cleaning, cooking, over productive at my job and happy. Now, I'm slipping back into depression again. I had to DRAG myself out of bed this morning. I have to drink 5 coffees before 1pm to stay awake and alert. I just want to go home and crawl into bed and sleep. Avoid people.
You've posted about this before, I responded, you came back feeling way better, I responded, but was worried that what you are describing is Bipolar Disorder - mood swings are one of the big indicators of BPD. it used to be called Manic Depressive Disorder. You should really see a doctor, there are meds that help. I battle depression, and meds make it survivable. This is physiological, a chemical imbalance, and it can be treated. Edit: Here is a link to a website that has a forum - www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/147334-where-do-you-get-your-hope-from/ |
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Post by The Herald Erjen on Jun 30, 2018 3:38:40 GMT
I have strange thoughts. I will wake up in a panic around 2am some mornings and cry for a moment because of the realization I will die one day. It's inevitable.
Then I have moments where I think, if it's inevitable, why prolong it? For what purpose?
Then I think, I have Christian beliefs, and would God want me to kill myself? Then I think about afterlife.
Then these dark thoughts come over me, where I think, "What if it is just nothing. No Heaven or Hell."
Just a little while ago I was only sleeping about 4 hours, motivated, cleaning, cooking, over productive at my job and happy. Now, I'm slipping back into depression again. I had to DRAG myself out of bed this morning. I have to drink 5 coffees before 1pm to stay awake and alert. I just want to go home and crawl into bed and sleep. Avoid people.
You've posted about this before, I responded, you came back feeling way better, I responded, but was worried that what you are describing is Bipolar Disorder - mood swings are one of the big indicators of BPD. it used to be called Manic Depressive Disorder. You should really see a doctor, there are meds that help. I battle depression, and meds make it survivable. This is physiological, a chemical imbalance, and it can be treated. I beg to differ, ma'am. The meds treat the symptom, not the problem. |
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Post by maya55555 on Jun 30, 2018 3:39:53 GMT
gozzy
Well, I guess it works for you. Thank the Lord, the Moth is off the hook.
P.S. Remember I am here to keep you humble.
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Post by goz on Jun 30, 2018 5:44:59 GMT
You've posted about this before, I responded, you came back feeling way better, I responded, but was worried that what you are describing is Bipolar Disorder - mood swings are one of the big indicators of BPD. it used to be called Manic Depressive Disorder. You should really see a doctor, there are meds that help. I battle depression, and meds make it survivable. This is physiological, a chemical imbalance, and it can be treated. I beg to differ, ma'am. The meds treat the symptom, not the problem. Don't you think that a professional with 10+ year's training and perhaps experience in this field MAY have a better idea than you? Those kinds of professionals treat people holistically and not just with the kind of medication you have heard of on your gospel YouTube vids. |
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Post by The Herald Erjen on Jun 30, 2018 6:01:33 GMT
I beg to differ, ma'am. The meds treat the symptom, not the problem. Don't you think that a professional with 10+ year's training and perhaps experience in this field MAY have a better idea than you? Those kinds of professionals treat people holistically and not just with the kind of medication you have heard of on your gospel YouTube vids. No, goz, I don't think that, but ultimately it's an individual choice to decide what to do about it. IMO there are too many dopers running around who are convinced that dope is the answer to everything. |
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Post by goz on Jun 30, 2018 6:42:08 GMT
Don't you think that a professional with 10+ year's training and perhaps experience in this field MAY have a better idea than you? Those kinds of professionals treat people holistically and not just with the kind of medication you have heard of on your gospel YouTube vids. No, goz, I don't think that, but ultimately it's an individual choice to decide what to do about it. IMO there are too many dopers running around who are convinced that dope is the answer to everything. What is 'dope'? ...and why don't you trust professionals over YouTube...who could be anyone? |
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Post by The Herald Erjen on Jun 30, 2018 6:49:46 GMT
No, goz, I don't think that, but ultimately it's an individual choice to decide what to do about it. IMO there are too many dopers running around who are convinced that dope is the answer to everything. What is 'dope'? ...and why don't you trust professionals over YouTube...who could be anyone? Why do you trust professionals......who could be anyone? |
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Post by Morgana on Jun 30, 2018 10:59:15 GMT
I have strange thoughts. I will wake up in a panic around 2am some mornings and cry for a moment because of the realization I will die one day. It's inevitable.
Then I have moments where I think, if it's inevitable, why prolong it? For what purpose?
Then I think, I have Christian beliefs, and would God want me to kill myself? Then I think about afterlife.
Then these dark thoughts come over me, where I think, "What if it is just nothing. No Heaven or Hell."
Just a little while ago I was only sleeping about 4 hours, motivated, cleaning, cooking, over productive at my job and happy. Now, I'm slipping back into depression again. I had to DRAG myself out of bed this morning. I have to drink 5 coffees before 1pm to stay awake and alert. I just want to go home and crawl into bed and sleep. Avoid people.
Perhaps you should seek help from a professional. I have depression, and I know a lot of people say all doctors do is push pills at you, but those pills I take have helped me a lot. They are not the be-all or end-all, however. |
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