|
Post by movieliker on Jan 14, 2019 17:24:01 GMT
Depends on the kid --- and the date. I would never let my 8 year old date a 20 year old. But I would let them date a 6/7/8/9/10 year old I trust. Why are you letting your 8 year old do ANYTHING?!?!? Are you insane?!?!? My 8 year old would be in the house under lock and fucking key!!! That would be against the law . 8 year olds deserve a "play date" with friends. Of course I would monitor it. And not allow any inappropriate behavior. But parents should know their kids. And know what their interests are. Most 8 year olds are not interested in sex. Especially boys. And you cannot watch them 24/7. Best to develop trust and education. That along with knowing your kids is the best any parent can do.
|
|
|
Post by kls on Jan 14, 2019 20:51:55 GMT
What age is it okay to start dating? IMO...
15 would be the earliest. I mean really... wtf do you know about dating before that? You were probably still playing with Pokémon before that. Kids are too in a rush to grow up.
I knew of a girl who had boyfriends when she was 13. What?! WTF does she know about romance at 13?!
My 'boyfriend' when I was 13 was just a boy in a mixed gender group of friends I hung out with.
|
|
|
Post by lenlenlen1 on Jan 14, 2019 20:54:26 GMT
IMO...
15 would be the earliest. I mean really... wtf do you know about dating before that? You were probably still playing with Pokémon before that. Kids are too in a rush to grow up.
I knew of a girl who had boyfriends when she was 13. What?! WTF does she know about romance at 13?!
My 'boyfriend' when I was 13 was just a boy in a mixed gender group of friends I hung out with. He wasn't really your boyfriend. He was a friend, happened to be a boy, and you found him cute, and maybe kissed him once or twice. Isnt that a bit different than someone you're "dating"?
|
|
|
Post by kls on Jan 14, 2019 20:56:23 GMT
My 'boyfriend' when I was 13 was just a boy in a mixed gender group of friends I hung out with. He wasn't really your boyfriend. He was a friend, happened to be a boy, and you found him cute, and maybe kissed him once or twice. Isnt that a bit different than someone you're "dating"? Of course. I just think that's what most 13 year olds call dating when it comes to themselves just to feel like older teens.
|
|
|
Post by movieliker on Jan 14, 2019 21:09:59 GMT
He wasn't really your boyfriend. He was a friend, happened to be a boy, and you found him cute, and maybe kissed him once or twice. Isnt that a bit different than someone you're "dating"? Of course. I just think that's what most 13 year olds call dating when it comes to themselves just to feel like older teens. That is what I was trying to explain to lenlenlen. Young kids 6-7-8 all the way up through 12 and 13 don't really date. They just kind of hang out together. Although socializing with and having friends of the opposite sex is good and healthy, you still need to watch them because they can still get in trouble.
|
|
|
Post by lenlenlen1 on Jan 14, 2019 21:54:24 GMT
Of course. I just think that's what most 13 year olds call dating when it comes to themselves just to feel like older teens. That is what I was trying to explain to lenlenlen. Young kids 6-7-8 all the way up through 12 and 13 don't really date. They just kind of hang out together. Although socializing with and having friends of the opposite sex is good and healthy, you still need to watch them because they can still get in trouble. But the question is "What age is it okay to start dating?" Dating in and of itself implies romantic intent.
I see kids nowadays starting to do things WAY too early. Things WE ourselves might not have done until years later. I blame parents that are too young to have learned how to be parents. Then they teach their lack of parenting to their own kids. And with every generation it gets worse. Its a slippery slope. It starts innocently, but all it takes is one time.
For example: 16 year old's shouldn't be having babies. They're still children themselves, officially and legally. They don't have their own shit together and they're going to bring another life into the fold? wtf? I think we all agree on that. But it starts at thirteen when they first start thinking about it.
And whats the rush anyway? I'd LOVE to go back to being taken care of! Adult shit is hard!
|
|
|
Post by movieliker on Jan 14, 2019 22:40:32 GMT
That is what I was trying to explain to lenlenlen. Young kids 6-7-8 all the way up through 12 and 13 don't really date. They just kind of hang out together. Although socializing with and having friends of the opposite sex is good and healthy, you still need to watch them because they can still get in trouble. But the question is "What age is it okay to start dating?" Dating in and of itself implies romantic intent.
I see kids nowadays starting to do things WAY too early. Things WE ourselves might not have done until years later. I blame parents that are too young to have learned how to be parents. Then they teach their lack of parenting to their own kids. And with every generation it gets worse. Its a slippery slope. It starts innocently, but all it takes is one time.
For example: 16 year old's shouldn't be having babies. They're still children themselves, officially and legally. They don't have their own shit together and they're going to bring another life into the fold? wtf? I think we all agree on that. But it starts at thirteen when they first start thinking about it.
And whats the rush anyway? I'd LOVE to go back to being taken care of! Adult shit is hard !!!
It still depends on the kids. 8 year olds are different than 14 year olds. Typically 8 year olds may love their friends. But they have no interest in sex. 14 year olds are different. Some 14 year olds are willing and think they are ready. Many 14 year olds are too awkward to get that far. Good parents will have already explained to their kids by 14 the responsibilities and risks of sex. Seemingly some 14 year olds are ready for sex. Every kid is different. It depends on the kid.
|
|
|
Post by CynicalDreamer2 on Jan 15, 2019 1:23:32 GMT
IMO...
15 would be the earliest. I mean really... wtf do you know about dating before that? You were probably still playing with Pokémon before that. Kids are too in a rush to grow up.
I knew of a girl who had boyfriends when she was 13. What?! WTF does she know about romance at 13?!
You think 13 is too young for a little hand holding and a first kiss? Maybe a chaparoned movie? Yes, 13 is too young to be dating.
|
|
|
Post by James on Jan 15, 2019 1:31:38 GMT
14-15
|
|
|
Post by Nora on Jan 15, 2019 3:05:56 GMT
define dating.
sex included? 15 or 16.
just making out? 13 or 14.
hanging out together calling each other boy or girlfriend? pretty much anytime. unsupervised? 11 or 12? during the daylight sure. i would be more restritive toward WHO they hang out with, then their own age.
i feel like most attention should go to educating people on safe sex and self value and ability to say no and only do what you truly want to do and know why you want to do it. restricting mid to late teenagers from dating is crazy, they will find a way.
|
|
|
Post by mslo79 on Jan 15, 2019 7:49:37 GMT
klsYeah, I don't disagree with you as I figure the closer in age the better. but I just used the 6-7 year gap as not to be too restrictive and should not be too much of a age gap between the two as, like I was saying, I feel around 10-ish years is really pushing it but much beyond that the age gap will simply become too much to where it's best off avoided as a general rule. I can't believe some of these people in Hollywood who have like 20+ years between the two so you could basically say I agree with you, or thereabouts. Yeah, I tend to think similarly in that people from many decades ago seemed generally more mature than these younger generations and not only that they looked a bit older, and acted a bit older, at a younger age etc. but I can imagine that her raising two younger siblings at such a young age further forced her to mature faster than usual and since you said your 50 years old and your talking about your grandparents that's basically the 'old days' where people generally seemed and acted more mature. because if your 50, that probably means your grandparents are at least 90-ish (assuming they did not have kids younger than about 20 years old) and could be well over that which puts them around my grandmas age, possibly older. my grandma just turned 100 this past November (I am 39). p.s. thanks for the reply/info
|
|
|
Post by CynicalDreamer2 on Jan 15, 2019 8:24:57 GMT
define dating. sex included? 15 or 16. just making out? 13 or 14. hanging out together calling each other boy or girlfriend? pretty much anytime. unsupervised? 11 or 12? during the daylight sure. i would be more restritive toward WHO they hang out with, then their own age. i feel like most attention should go to educating people on safe sex and self value and ability to say no and only do what you truly want to do and know why you want to do it. restricting mid to late teenagers from dating is crazy, they will find a way. Restricting teens is part of parenting and while they may find a way, that’s different from having a rule if that’s what you believe.
|
|
|
Post by Nora on Jan 15, 2019 10:09:34 GMT
define dating. sex included? 15 or 16. just making out? 13 or 14. hanging out together calling each other boy or girlfriend? pretty much anytime. unsupervised? 11 or 12? during the daylight sure. i would be more restritive toward WHO they hang out with, then their own age. i feel like most attention should go to educating people on safe sex and self value and ability to say no and only do what you truly want to do and know why you want to do it. restricting mid to late teenagers from dating is crazy, they will find a way. Restricting teens is part of parenting and while they may find a way, that’s different from having a rule if that’s what you believe. sure sure restricting is part of parenting and n important one, I agree with you, but I also believe that when a teen is 15-19 years old dating ctually “should” be part of their life.
|
|
|
Post by lenlenlen1 on Jan 15, 2019 18:45:23 GMT
But the question is "What age is it okay to start dating?" Dating in and of itself implies romantic intent.
I see kids nowadays starting to do things WAY too early. Things WE ourselves might not have done until years later. I blame parents that are too young to have learned how to be parents. Then they teach their lack of parenting to their own kids. And with every generation it gets worse. Its a slippery slope. It starts innocently, but all it takes is one time.
For example: 16 year old's shouldn't be having babies. They're still children themselves, officially and legally. They don't have their own shit together and they're going to bring another life into the fold? wtf? I think we all agree on that. But it starts at thirteen when they first start thinking about it.
And whats the rush anyway? I'd LOVE to go back to being taken care of! Adult shit is hard !!!
It still depends on the kids. 8 year olds are different than 14 year olds. Typically 8 year olds may love their friends. But they have no interest in sex. 14 year olds are different. Some 14 year olds are willing and think they are ready. Many 14 year olds are too awkward to get that far. Good parents will have already explained to their kids by 14 the responsibilities and risks of sex. Seemingly some 14 year olds are ready for sex. Every kid is different. It depends on the kid. Sure. But it depends on the parent to make sure that the kid who "thinks" he/she is ready to not actually act upon it until much later. That's called parenting.
I don't care what kid at 14 years old "thinks" they're ready, they're not. A 14 year old can get pregnant and that will ruin their lives. I hate to be a jerk about it, but a 14 year old doesn't even know how to take care of themselves, how the heck are they going to take care of a someone else, a baby no less?! Its hard enough for adults who are prepared!
And its not fair for that 14 year olds parent to be the one to take care of the baby. They already raised the 14 year old!
Let me give you two example stories of scenarios that I personally know of:
One young woman only 22 years old has two kids already, each from a different guy, and still lives at home, and has no great career prospects and no plan for moving out on her own. WTF? before she even left the house she brought in not one but two more mouths?! Why... because the parents allowed that shit.
Another young girl I know of, also in her early 20's, again living at home, no baby-daddy, and just gave birth. You know what she does for a living? She does delivery for a Chinese food place! WTF?
And where the baby-daddy's in all this? Out running around fucking other dummies with no consequences, because the guy gets to go off and do whatever. Its the girl that gets screwed.
"But I love my baby." Yeah, I'm sure your baby is cute and adorable, but what getting a life so you can provide for that baby?
No, there's way too much irresponsibility at a young age. Its this blasé attitude towards it that's leading to so many young unplanned pregnancies and young people not knowing what to do with their lives. Parenting sometimes means reining that shit in.
|
|
|
Post by kuatorises on Jan 15, 2019 19:22:40 GMT
Then, welcome to grandparenthood 9 months later. Ok, June Cleaver.
|
|
|
Post by movieliker on Jan 15, 2019 19:40:31 GMT
It still depends on the kids. 8 year olds are different than 14 year olds. Typically 8 year olds may love their friends. But they have no interest in sex. 14 year olds are different. Some 14 year olds are willing and think they are ready. Many 14 year olds are too awkward to get that far. Good parents will have already explained to their kids by 14 the responsibilities and risks of sex. Seemingly some 14 year olds are ready for sex. Every kid is different. It depends on the kid. Sure. But it depends on the parent to make sure that the kid who "thinks" he/she is ready to not actually act upon it until much later. That's called parenting.
I don't care what kid at 14 years old "thinks" they're ready, they're not. A 14 year old can get pregnant and that will ruin their lives. I hate to be a jerk about it, but a 14 year old doesn't even know how to take care of themselves, how the heck are they going to take care of a someone else, a baby no less?! Its hard enough for adults who are prepared!
And its not fair for that 14 year olds parent to be the one to take care of the baby. They already raised the 14 year old!
Let me give you two example stories of scenarios that I personally know of:
One young woman only 22 years old has two kids already, each from a different guy, and still lives at home, and has no great career prospects and no plan for moving out on her own. WTF? before she even left the house she brought in not one but two more mouths?! Why... because the parents allowed that shit.
Another young girl I know of, also in her early 20's, again living at home, no baby-daddy, and just gave birth. You know what she does for a living? She does delivery for a Chinese food place! WTF?
And where the baby-daddy's in all this? Out running around fucking other dummies with no consequences, because the guy gets to go off and do whatever. Its the girl that gets screwed.
"But I love my baby." Yeah, I'm sure your baby is cute and adorable, but what getting a life so you can provide for that baby?
No, there's way too much irresponsibility at a young age. Its this blasé attitude towards it that's leading to so many young unplanned pregnancies and young people not knowing what to do with their lives. Parenting sometimes means reining that shit in.
Of course. But what are you going to do? You teach your kids the responsibilities and risks of sex. And then you hope they make good decisions. And really? Most teenagers who are sexually active, don't get pregnant. And most teens know that. Responsible kids who respect sacrifice and determination, and have long term goals will decide not to take a chance. And to put off having sex until they are prepared for the risks. Other kids won't. Even with the same upbringing. I agree. Bad parenting and no parenting will inevitably lead to more problems. I am all for good parenting. And socially what do we do about bad parents and no parents? The best parents will be able to assist their pregnant daughter without seeking government assistance.
|
|
|
Post by lenlenlen1 on Jan 15, 2019 20:20:37 GMT
Sure. But it depends on the parent to make sure that the kid who "thinks" he/she is ready to not actually act upon it until much later. That's called parenting.
I don't care what kid at 14 years old "thinks" they're ready, they're not. A 14 year old can get pregnant and that will ruin their lives. I hate to be a jerk about it, but a 14 year old doesn't even know how to take care of themselves, how the heck are they going to take care of a someone else, a baby no less?! Its hard enough for adults who are prepared!
And its not fair for that 14 year olds parent to be the one to take care of the baby. They already raised the 14 year old!
Let me give you two example stories of scenarios that I personally know of:
One young woman only 22 years old has two kids already, each from a different guy, and still lives at home, and has no great career prospects and no plan for moving out on her own. WTF? before she even left the house she brought in not one but two more mouths?! Why... because the parents allowed that shit.
Another young girl I know of, also in her early 20's, again living at home, no baby-daddy, and just gave birth. You know what she does for a living? She does delivery for a Chinese food place! WTF?
And where the baby-daddy's in all this? Out running around fucking other dummies with no consequences, because the guy gets to go off and do whatever. Its the girl that gets screwed.
"But I love my baby." Yeah, I'm sure your baby is cute and adorable, but what getting a life so you can provide for that baby?
No, there's way too much irresponsibility at a young age. Its this blasé attitude towards it that's leading to so many young unplanned pregnancies and young people not knowing what to do with their lives. Parenting sometimes means reining that shit in.
Of course. But what are you going to do? You teach your kids the responsibilities and risks of sex. And then you hope they make good decisions. And really? Most teenagers who are sexually active, don't get pregnant. And most teens know that. Responsible kids who respect sacrifice and determination, and have long term goals will decide not to take a chance. And to put off having sex until they are prepared for the risks. Other kids won't. Even with the same upbringing. I agree. Bad parenting and no parenting will inevitably lead to more problems. I am all for good parenting. And socially what do we do about bad parents and no parents? The best parents will be able to assist their pregnant daughter without seeking government assistance. No point in bringing government assistance into this. That's another ball of wax. Glad we agree on the rest! Peace!
|
|
|
Post by Marv on Jan 15, 2019 20:44:51 GMT
My mom told me 47. So I’m eager to get out there...just gotta wait a few more years.
|
|
|
Post by deembastille on Jan 16, 2019 0:10:10 GMT
movieliker... "Most teens who are sexually active don't get pregnant" Um... You've never been to Mott Haven, Bronx, have you? Yeah. If you're a teen and NOT pregnant, you are considered barren. The parents actually want to become grandparents by the time they are 35. It's considered an accomplishment.
|
|
|
Post by kls on Jan 16, 2019 0:18:14 GMT
movieliker ... "Most teens who are sexually active don't get pregnant" Um... You've never been to Mott Haven, Bronx, have you? Yeah. If you're a teen and NOT pregnant, you are considered barren. The parents actually want to become grandparents by the time they are 35. It's considered an accomplishment. Most teens are from that area?
|
|