Not criminal (as far as we know), but weird: Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies
May 8, 2019 18:24:00 GMT
RiP, IMDb likes this
Post by Nalkarj on May 8, 2019 18:24:00 GMT
Reddit loves this mystery, and it is really interesting.
From u/markdungo333’s excellent summary of the key lime pie mystery (the []s are my interjections):
Mark goes on to say that at first he and others didn’t believe Kutchie’s Key West Café was a real restaurant, especially as there were no references to it online, but Redditors eventually proved that it had been real—operating between 1978 and 2005 or 2006. (The first “key lime pie” posts, by the way, appeared in 2009.) The owners were Oswald Pelaez, Jr., whose nickname is (or was) “Kutchie,” and his wife Anita.
The restaurant primarily served seafood, and there are no references to its serving key lime pie in any known newspaper review, but several Redditors who live nearby remember its being on the menu.
There are 700 known Kutchie posts floating around the ’net and 1400 more that have apparently since been deleted, leading many to conjecture that the poster was a spambot. But could a spambot write like this? The posts often have misspellings and random capitalizations, but they’re not random—the sentences flow and make sense. There’s a sense of humor, and while there are some direct repeats, many of them are original. Unlike most spam posts, these have no hyperlinks in the text, to malicious websites or otherwise. Though many of the later ones have the wacky sexual references Mark mentions, many of them early ones read like a goofy advertising strategy to make phony restaurant reviews—except, of course, that the restaurant was long out-of-business.
I go back and forth between believing it’s a bot and believing it’s a person, but in reading them over and glancing over some of the Kutchie-related rabbit holes on Reddit, I think it’s Pelaez himself. I’m not sure why exactly, unless Pelaez has mental problems and is, in his mind, reliving his glory days, but the following details have convinced me:
1. The politics. They’re all then-modern references, to Trump, Clinton, Megyn Kelly (curiously, “Jonny Carson” is spelt incorrectly, but the poster knows the spelling of “Megyn”). To me it suggests a human being behind it, probably one who, despite referencing NBC at times, primarily watched/watches Fox News (the poster nearly always wrote “Megyn Kelly of Fox News”) and wanted to include that in.
2. The humor. It can be sexual, but Mark chose the right word in calling it wacky; it’s never anything more than goofiness, with all the seriousness of a Mamie Van Doren movie. (“Beautiful Anita’s pies will give you PIEGASMS!”) It reminds me of what they call “dad jokes,” for the most part, and again suggests a person—probably a middle-aged or older man.
3. The same also applies for the references: Johnny Carson, Ed McMahon, Don Rickles, Frankie Valli (spelt correctly!), Frank Sinatra (often spelt incorrectly—“Senatra”), etc.
4. The constant mentions of Anita Pelaez as “beautiful” and “drop dead GORGEOUS.” Also, the emphasis on “Mrs. Anita Pelaez.” (“Pelaez,” by the way, is also spelt correctly, though sometimes “Kutchie” changes: “cootchie,” “kootchie.” Mostly when the poster is trying to sound like someone else, for example posting under a female username.)
5. The equally constant praise of Kutchie Pelaez himself. Most of the early ones focus on Anita’s pies, but the later ones talk about Kutchie more often.
Again, I have no idea why Mr. Pelaez is doing this unless he has serious mental problems. But that’s what I’m thinking right now. What say you? Have you heard of this mystery before?
From u/markdungo333’s excellent summary of the key lime pie mystery (the []s are my interjections):
Someone has spent several years posting strange messages about “Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies” all over the internet.
The poster effusively praises the key lime pies and “Goody Goody” cheeseburgers served at Kutchie’s Key West Café, claiming that they’re the best in the world and that celebrities from all over America visit Kutchie’s just to taste their key lime pie. He mentions that the restaurant is run by Oswald and Anita Pelaez and that it’s located in Asheville, North Carolina. [Nearly every post also mentions that the restaurant is near the Biltmore Estate in Asheville.]
The posts are quite humorous - they’re full of puns and wordplay and sometimes contain wacky sexual references, like testimonials that Kutchie’s key lime pies cause instant orgasms and increase penis size. The poster writes in the style of an old-timey radio announcer and makes lots of references to Baby Boomer pop culture. Often the posts are several hundred words long. [They also frequently use the names of celebrities, often spelt incorrectly: “Jonny Carson,” “Bettie White.” They also frequently refer to Jimmy Buffett and “Margaritaville,” with the writer calling the café “Kutchitaville.” The ones written in 2015-’16 also frequently use names of news anchors and praise Donald Trump.]
Here’s a link to some typical comments [safe to click]. Google “Kutchie’s key lime pie” and you’ll find hundreds more of these posts. The astounding number of bizarre posts has led people to speculate about the identity of the poster and the purpose of the comments, wondering if it’s a crazy person, a troll, a bot, or a conspiracy.
The poster effusively praises the key lime pies and “Goody Goody” cheeseburgers served at Kutchie’s Key West Café, claiming that they’re the best in the world and that celebrities from all over America visit Kutchie’s just to taste their key lime pie. He mentions that the restaurant is run by Oswald and Anita Pelaez and that it’s located in Asheville, North Carolina. [Nearly every post also mentions that the restaurant is near the Biltmore Estate in Asheville.]
The posts are quite humorous - they’re full of puns and wordplay and sometimes contain wacky sexual references, like testimonials that Kutchie’s key lime pies cause instant orgasms and increase penis size. The poster writes in the style of an old-timey radio announcer and makes lots of references to Baby Boomer pop culture. Often the posts are several hundred words long. [They also frequently use the names of celebrities, often spelt incorrectly: “Jonny Carson,” “Bettie White.” They also frequently refer to Jimmy Buffett and “Margaritaville,” with the writer calling the café “Kutchitaville.” The ones written in 2015-’16 also frequently use names of news anchors and praise Donald Trump.]
Here’s a link to some typical comments [safe to click]. Google “Kutchie’s key lime pie” and you’ll find hundreds more of these posts. The astounding number of bizarre posts has led people to speculate about the identity of the poster and the purpose of the comments, wondering if it’s a crazy person, a troll, a bot, or a conspiracy.
The restaurant primarily served seafood, and there are no references to its serving key lime pie in any known newspaper review, but several Redditors who live nearby remember its being on the menu.
There are 700 known Kutchie posts floating around the ’net and 1400 more that have apparently since been deleted, leading many to conjecture that the poster was a spambot. But could a spambot write like this? The posts often have misspellings and random capitalizations, but they’re not random—the sentences flow and make sense. There’s a sense of humor, and while there are some direct repeats, many of them are original. Unlike most spam posts, these have no hyperlinks in the text, to malicious websites or otherwise. Though many of the later ones have the wacky sexual references Mark mentions, many of them early ones read like a goofy advertising strategy to make phony restaurant reviews—except, of course, that the restaurant was long out-of-business.
I go back and forth between believing it’s a bot and believing it’s a person, but in reading them over and glancing over some of the Kutchie-related rabbit holes on Reddit, I think it’s Pelaez himself. I’m not sure why exactly, unless Pelaez has mental problems and is, in his mind, reliving his glory days, but the following details have convinced me:
1. The politics. They’re all then-modern references, to Trump, Clinton, Megyn Kelly (curiously, “Jonny Carson” is spelt incorrectly, but the poster knows the spelling of “Megyn”). To me it suggests a human being behind it, probably one who, despite referencing NBC at times, primarily watched/watches Fox News (the poster nearly always wrote “Megyn Kelly of Fox News”) and wanted to include that in.
2. The humor. It can be sexual, but Mark chose the right word in calling it wacky; it’s never anything more than goofiness, with all the seriousness of a Mamie Van Doren movie. (“Beautiful Anita’s pies will give you PIEGASMS!”) It reminds me of what they call “dad jokes,” for the most part, and again suggests a person—probably a middle-aged or older man.
3. The same also applies for the references: Johnny Carson, Ed McMahon, Don Rickles, Frankie Valli (spelt correctly!), Frank Sinatra (often spelt incorrectly—“Senatra”), etc.
4. The constant mentions of Anita Pelaez as “beautiful” and “drop dead GORGEOUS.” Also, the emphasis on “Mrs. Anita Pelaez.” (“Pelaez,” by the way, is also spelt correctly, though sometimes “Kutchie” changes: “cootchie,” “kootchie.” Mostly when the poster is trying to sound like someone else, for example posting under a female username.)
5. The equally constant praise of Kutchie Pelaez himself. Most of the early ones focus on Anita’s pies, but the later ones talk about Kutchie more often.
Again, I have no idea why Mr. Pelaez is doing this unless he has serious mental problems. But that’s what I’m thinking right now. What say you? Have you heard of this mystery before?
