The Bromley Boys(finally an ok football movie)

Look on imdb and of the ten reviews all but one are full of praise. Look most places else and you'll find the opposite.

I stuck through it to the bitter end, brah. If this is based on actual events then I'm the Queen of Sheba. It's a piddling adolescent coming-of-age romantic boy-meets-girl-meets-football (though actual football in the film is virtually non-existent) I felt like I was watching Grange Hill half the time. Foreman plays the half-assed rogue owner of the club and he draws on his voluminous experience at playing the rogue and gives over about 0.1% of that experience which is just about enough to see him right in his rogue(ish) role here - a piece of cake for him. He's done it for beer money.

Alan Davies' voiceovers are long, unfunny and monotonous and any second you expect to hear Maddie pipe up with "But what does it all mean, Jonathan?"

Honestly, it's puerile. It's like going to the fun fair and spending all your money on the kiddies' carousel. Bend It Like Beckham was a kind of adolescent film but compared to this it's Citizen Kane. Even Those Glory Glory Days is more mature and more football-realistic than this childish unbelievable tosh.

I'm not being harsh. They'll say, Oh it's meant to be lighthearted, it's meant to be playful. I say bollix, it's a waste of time and is about as close to football as I am to the moon.

And they've got the front to force it on the USA now after it absolutely bombed over here.

What really pisses me off is that it's hyped as a grass roots football film in some quarters : it isn't, nowhere near it. A complete adolescent shitefest from start to rotten finish.

7.5 on imdb? Something is not right there. Some reviews elsewhere are good, some are scathing. It depends how seriously you take your football when looking for a film to get your teeth into. There was no actual football in Football Factory, save the kids' park game (Millwall Juniors v Chelsea Juniors) which was used to good effect for a punch-up between "yer fat f***ing prick (Billy Bright played by Frank Harper) and "yer long streak of piss silly bollix" (Fred played by Tamer Hassan) You don't necessarily need football 'action' in a football film to make it good.  But Bromley Boys fails wickedly at this.

It's up to you, brah. But I lost 95 minutes in the pursuit of nothing (watch the end credits and it'll cost ye 100 minutes)

Sorry to be such a wet blanket but this, for me at least, is a lamentable exercise in producing a yawn-a-minute boring infantile pile of exceedingly poor quality crap. (Good quality crap, for the record, would be, to my eyes, Bend It Like Beckham or something)