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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2020 2:19:20 GMT
@opus Yeah, that's a good point as that could cause conflict and put a strain on the marriage, especially if the people can't stand each other. because a little conflict might not be the end of the world but after a certain point I could see it becoming a big problem especially if the one in the marriage is quite bothered by it where it eats at them and they want peace and that's not likely to happen for the foreseeable future. because I figure not many are all that close to their in-laws anyways. but I guess the main thing is as long as you get along okay enough on the occasions you do meet up. Not getting along with in-laws creates a lot of animosity and puts a lot of pressure on the marriage. People now need to to choose sides. Do I pick my new family or do I pick the family that I've known my entire life. Even if you don't like them or don't agree with them you need to be respectful. After all they're the very same people who raised the person you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. They must have done something right. Also need to remember that both you and the in-laws have something in common, you both love the same person.
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buckyv2
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Post by buckyv2 on May 17, 2020 2:44:40 GMT
Guys who are/were married did you do that? Women who are/were married did the groom do that? With my late husband it was a bit of a twist on it. He didn't ask my father. He bypassed him and asked for my mother's blessing. If it's a gay marriage, how does that work?
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buckyv2
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Post by buckyv2 on May 18, 2020 1:54:19 GMT
If it's a gay marriage, how does that work? To most heterosexual fathers who prefer their sons not be gay anyway, the father would feel like he was consenting to homosexual procurement of his own son. I don't think it works. One can imagine the conversation though...fly on the wall
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Post by kls on May 18, 2020 15:27:48 GMT
Guys who are/were married did you do that? Women who are/were married did the groom do that? With my late husband it was a bit of a twist on it. He didn't ask my father. He bypassed him and asked for my mother's blessing. Didn’t you have some issues with your father though k? You have mentioned this before. Your mother then had the respect and your late husband respected this too. The dynamic of it though is just romanticised tradition and with or without the blessing (or hand), it is ultimately up to the couple. I think it is sexist too, especially when you don’t hear of the female asking the male’s parents for their blessing. It may happen, but if it does, it is never really brought up much, or what I hear of. I'm much closer to my mother than my father. My relationship has improved a lot recently since he's cut down on drinking for the sake of his heart and he just can't keep up like he did before. He was just consistently very nasty and negative. He makes much more of an effort now.
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Post by mikef6 on May 19, 2020 5:10:53 GMT
Not a chance. Her father died in 1960 and her mother remarried several years later. We were married in 1971 (50th coming up soon) so asking for her hand wasn't even considered.
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