How /when did you know your partner was "the one"?

Awww. I didn't know. That's wonderful! Best of luck!
Yes the Wizard of oz was my favorite movie as a child. Prolly sounds stupid but it was the solidifier.

39 years this month!

Okay, you asked for it.

Hubby says he knew the instant he first saw me (across a crowded room, just like the Rodgers & Hammerstein song) at a Xmas-time party in the home of a mutual friend. I think I knew only days later, but resisted it. I'd spent a couple years in a very toxic relationship, was enjoying the hell out of being single again and wasn't ready to give it up. After a few months, I even tried to break it off but soon enough found everything just seemed too empty without him.  

We were a couple for six years, with lots of ups and downs (mostly my fault) before we began sharing a home, which we've been doing for, well, just about exactly thirty-two years and six months; that anniversary will take place tomorrow, now I think of it. Anniversaries, by the way, have always been rather vague for us. For those first six years, we considered it to be the date we met: Dec 23. For many more, it was Jan 2, when we moved in together. We've now been legally married since July 1, '14. Wow: another anniversary coming up (but we mostly just ignore 'em these days after all that tiresome uncertainty). But come this December, we'll have been together, in one way or another, for thirty-nine years. We're rather proud of that.

Why is he for me? He's even-tempered and steady; a bit shy and quiet around people he doesn't know well; unfailingly loyal, supportive, caring and generous; very smart and funny (except for the smart and funny part, exactly the opposite of my earlier partner). There's another song, this one from Funny Lady, the sequel to Funny Girl, which Barbra Streisand as Fanny Brice sings about her new marriage to Billy Rose: 

Somebody nice
Somebody new
Someone who lets me react as I normally do
Isn't this better?

Now I am calm
Safe and serene
Heartache and hurt are no longer a part of the scene
Isn't this better?

And it is. That's how he makes me feel. We're each other's favorite company, are together twenty-four hours a day and have as much fun doing just routine stuff like walking to the market as anyone else does at parties, clubs, shows or any other social activity. There's the odd lively debate about news and such, but the actual quarrels we've had in, say, the last twenty years could be counted on the fingers of one hand. With all the hardship and deprivation taking place these days, I'm a little embarrassed to say that isolation, quarantining, sheltering or whatever anyone wants to call it has worked no such hardship on us. Everyone we know pretty much considers us hermits, which is just as well, because our conversations often go something like this:

ME: "Y'know, the - "
HE: "Yeah, exactly, because - "
ME: "Uh-huh, and did ya notice - "
He: "YES! Isn't it?" 

And then we both laugh because we understand each other so completely. Sometimes I answer his questions seconds before he can speak them, and he does the same with me. We've even had entire conversations simply by looking at each other. And then we laugh again, because we know how it looks to observers: "What is with these two loons?"

I couldn't tell you why I'm the one for him. I often find myself impossible, and wouldn't spend a fraction of my time with me if I didn't have to. But I do make hubby laugh a lot, and he says I'm the best company too. Thank goodness for that, and for him. 

It must be love (probably another song).     
    

I have never fell in love at first sight but I sure felt crazy infatuation at first sight. One even made me think “I wanna marry this guy” within the first 10 seconds of meeting him - he was my dance teacher and as he walked into my house for the first of our many lessons, I thought I was going to faint I kid you not. I had trouble concentrating around him, I would smile the WHOLE TIME like an idiot, including when I was handing over 50 bucks to him after each lesson, I couldnt focus on the instructions he was giving me, it was incredibly overwhelming. I shared with him my feelings about 10 lessons in, it was just impossible to try and pretend I am not weak in the knees when he is around. Needless to say we are not together but remain close friends to this day. His “the one” has a penis.

As for my husband - we met online debating legal issues. He couldnt stand me it seemed. He kept pointing out all the things I am wrong in as well as my character flaws on the boards (but never mean/aggressive just witty/ snarky remarks) and eventually wrote me a private message assassinating my character and knowledge. I replied rebutting and the rest is history.

Its been 13 years that we are together, married for 5. I think I knew he was “the one” when on our 3rd date, the first time he was at my house, I got sick (no alcohol, just some kind of food poisoning) and threw up ALL OVER THE FLOOR, I felt horribly embarrassed of course and started apologizing etc and he was so wonderful about it, told me to lay down and he went and got cleaning supplies and cleaned it all up while I was resting and took very nice care of me. 3rd date people. Yeah. That worked. He is a keeper.

.

we are both lawyers by education so sometimes our debates get pretty heated. one of our big fights was over who is worse, Hitler or Stalin.

I also have to admit my husband knows much more just about everything....

Out of curiosity, who was a more horrible person in your eyes, Hitler or Stalin?

:-D

As for the dance teacher - he let me down So lovingly, and in the end it didnt hurt our friendship one bit. In a way its awesome to have him as a friend.

No, not really sentimental about calendar holidays and so forth. We more or less forget 'em because, since we've both been retired, every day's like a holiday. And yeah, we rarely run out of things to talk about. But in spite of how well we know each other, we can still surprise one another too. Happens almost every day. 

Or on those rare occasions when things get quiet between us, on a long auto trip or just sitting around the house during morning coffee or whatever, he'll suddenly say, "Okay, regale me with stories." It's been rather a running joke for years. He probably keeps at it to see how long it takes till I run out of them.

Which reminds me of something I forgot to mention. I've never bought into fate, destiny, preordination or anything like that. But I do believe in coincidence because, well, it happens. Over time, filling each other in on stories of our lives before meeting (as you do), we discovered that on at least two occasions before we met, we were in exactly the same place at exactly the same time. I don't mean like the same city or even some specific public space like a park or shopping mall, but within the same room with no more than a couple hundred other people. Both were one-time-only events, so there could be no mistaking them. 

I had started casually telling him about one of those events, and he interrupted me: 

HE: "And that guy in the back had a heart attack?"
ME: "Yeah! And his wife - "
HE: " - started yelling for a doctor?"
ME: "Right! How did you know?"
HE: "I was there!"

At another time, he started telling me about the other event, and I interrupted him:

ME: "Was that 'invitation-only?'"
HE: "Uh-huh. At the - "
ME: " - on Pico Blvd? And the - "
HE: " - power went out for about - 
ME: " - a half a minute?
Me: "Yes! How did you - "
ME: "I was there!"

We've never discovered any other such "close encounters," so, at the party where we finally met, I guess the third time was the charm. That's good enough. But I should add that he's told me, "I came this close to not going" (like I said, shy with people he doesn't know), "But Jim wouldn't give me any peace all day until I promised him I would."    

How lives can turn on the smallest of decisions. 








      

I like the twin stars analogy; that's very nice. I never thought of it in that way but, with that in mind, it's as though we've been accreting into one entity after all this time, becoming more like two halves of one being. 

Please forgive me, because I don't spend a lot of time on this board (when on the site, I'm most often on the CFB), so I've probably missed knowing a lot about you. You've been so patient letting me run on, and I'd love to hear your story or stories, if you're so inclined. Still feeling romantic?  

My right hand and I have always gotten along very well.