Easterners have said my parents act like they're white

When my parents separated and remarried, my father's new wife told me, in front of him and to my face, "He has a NEW family now!" and my father never corrected her, never had my back, and never stepped up for me. He brought his "new son" (from his new wife's previous marriage) into the family business.

You're not alone. I think many parents have ideas and expectations of their kids. Not to excuse what they do but I think most of the time it's motivated by them being so determined that they don't want their kids to have as hard of a life as they themselves had, so as difficult and confusing as this sounds, it's not really personal in that way. It's a reflection on them and their inadequacies.