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Post by sugarbiscuits on May 14, 2017 10:38:04 GMT
What do you think about bullies, bullying? Are you one or use to be? Have you ever been bullied?
Do you think bullies are insecure and have low self esteem or are they arrogant and smug?
Do you think girls find it funny when boys bully other boys?
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Post by Jillian on May 14, 2017 10:50:07 GMT
Bullying makes my blood boil. I won´t go to any further details though. Difficult to say, some are insecure and others are arrogant and fcking smug and narcissistic. I doubt it- I don´t think anyone should find bullying funny or tolerable.
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Post by permutojoe on May 14, 2017 14:43:41 GMT
It's needless aggression, which is always a bad thing.
Some of it I think comes down to impulsive behavior, where the bully wants to express himself socially but doesn't really have much to say that's constructive. So he does the first thing that comes to mind that he can do, which is to dominate/ridicule a classmate. Bullies, where possible, should be asked politely to stop and then if they don't, punched in the face.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 15:17:35 GMT
I had a bully at school. But not for long. He stopped bothering me after i sent him to the hospital.
For some reason he seem to be afraid of me after that.
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Post by fangirl1975 on May 14, 2017 15:53:47 GMT
I was bullied. I've been struggling to build self confidence ever since.
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Post by Jillian on May 14, 2017 16:23:02 GMT
I was bullied. I've been struggling to build self confidence ever since. Self confidence is the thing that suffers the most I think. What to do to regain it is the question. Trying to find something one is good at and enjoys would be the right medicine and therapeutic solution, although it is easier said than done.
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bondfan90
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Post by bondfan90 on May 14, 2017 16:30:59 GMT
I never had a problem with bullying when i was at school. It was when i was at college. I have a disability, so it made me an easy target. It was the sports people who'd do it. Insults, sayijg they wouldn't be seen dead with me. Apparentely, being seen with a disabled person, is shameful! If i'd use the lift, they couldn't get away fast enough. I even heard on person say that tney hate people in wheelchairs. It could happen to them someday!
It was those people with a superiority complex that would bully.
It's brave of people here to share thier stories. Well done!
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Post by Utpe on May 14, 2017 22:41:22 GMT
When I was in grammar school, there was this one guy that would constantly pick on me. By the time we got to high school, he calmed down. I think he felt sorry about bullying me all of those years.
I was also on the receiving end just because of the way I dressed. I wasn't really one for the current fashion trends at the time. I suppose I was an easy target because I came across as nerdy.
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shangel
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Bullies
May 15, 2017 9:50:30 GMT
via mobile
Post by shangel on May 15, 2017 9:50:30 GMT
I had a bully at school. But not for long. He stopped bothering me after i sent him to the hospital. For some reason he seem to be afraid of me after that. I know it may be wrong for me to say this, but I like how you dealt with a bully. If more bullies got the crap kicked out of them, then maybe the problem wouldn't be as epidemic as it is.
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Post by stefancrosscoe on May 15, 2017 10:50:52 GMT
Would have been so nice if it worked that way. Dish out a good ol' smackdown, and lesson learned here, now move on.
The worst kind of bullies I have encountered are usally very far away from the "classic" Hollywood bully, who are being portrayed as some big dumb oaf, that only seem to rely on his/her strenght and size.
No, instead a lot these bullies (I have either gone to class/school with or met later in life) was often highly intellectual, and very social skilled with lots of friends. One of them was even a damn teachers "pet", always sucking up, so that he could be portrayed as this "angel who would not hurt a fly" kind of type. And he was a wordsmith, who on a daily basis would go on to terrorize those who would not write or speak as "perfect" as himself.
Most of these bullies, rarely used any kind of physical violence, but since most of them were cunning and mean, like few others, I guess that physical violence would probably be beneath them, or they would let somebody else do it for them instead. These kind of bullies could easily make an elephant feel like a little mouse, and they always seem to knew very well how to get away with their act, where the most evil of them, would end up having their victims taking the blame for being bullied.
Anyway, the sad thing is that even if one decide to fight back and succeed in doing so, it is not always gonna be a "happy ending" afterwards. In far too many cases, it ends with the school system taking parts with the bully, and portray him/her as the "victim", because of a broken up family or some other poor excuses, so that the school can just go back to the usual by brushing it all under a carpet and move on, as fast as possible. And as a final insult, the real victim sadly often ends up having to switch school after school, beause the bully often has a lot of friends, not only at his/her own school, but other places too, and so life just continues to be a living nightmare for the victim, and it must be terrible to see that the bullies are getting away, time after time.
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Post by stefancrosscoe on May 15, 2017 11:27:34 GMT
What do you think about bullies, bullying? Are you one or use to be? Have you ever been bullied? I hate bullies, and as one of very few kids at school, who had to start wearing glasses, it did not take that long before the namecalling began. The thing is, when I started at school, I had no glasses, and I was just a "normal" kid like everybody else, and then one day I got the shocking news that needed them, and it felt like such a "death sentence". My old life was gone. People tried to calm me down by saying stuff like: "Superman wears glasses, and he is the strongest man in the universe"No, Clark Kent that bumbling fool who everybody laughs at, and not with, wears the glasses, and no kid I ever knew would want to be Clark Kent, not even for a second. Anyway, back to school and suddenly a lot of people I thought were my friends, began treating me like a completely different person, and even now as I got older, it is not that unsual to hear people sometimes label or describe a person by only noticing that they wear glasses, as some kind of an intellectual. "Oh, she/he wears glasses, they must incredible smart". Some of the stupidest or clumsiest persons (myself included) I have met, wears glasses. We did not get any kind of super-powers from using them either, well beside having people acting/treating you different than before. Do you think girls find it funny when boys bully other boys?
There have always been and will always be those that laugh, find it amusing or screams for "moore blood, moore blood" whenever a fight breaks out or somebody are being thrown around by the bully/bullies, but I do hope (for their part) that most of them feel very bad afterwards, that they did not interfered or try to stop what happened, instead of just becoming another spectator in the crowd.
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Post by permutojoe on May 15, 2017 12:29:02 GMT
That's true. Things are almost always more nuanced and complex than what is shown in movies and on TV. Another causal factor in bullying I think is narcissistic personality disorder. Show me a person who has to be looked at as the best all the time and I'll show you one who has a psychological need to tear others down.
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Post by politicidal on May 15, 2017 15:05:06 GMT
I think that while it's becoming more frowned upon, it's getting worse. Some of these stories I hear, it's closer to the mind-games you see fictitious psychopaths play in those paperback airport novels.
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Post by naterdawg on May 16, 2017 1:18:27 GMT
I was bullied relentlessly as a fifth grader, with a brief respite with grade 6 (different school--changed because of bullying). When everybody came together for junior high, it started up again and didn't end until graduation night from high school. No administrator, no school shrink or counselor changed any of it. The only thing that ended it was graduation.
I'm a freelance writer and have been working on an article about my experiences, circa late 60s, early 70s. . Here's a slice. Let me know what you think. And keep in mind that all of this is true.
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE - A Survivor's Tale
...If spotted anywhere without an adult, I’d be chased, yelled at, kicked, pushed, punched, viciously slapped, made to strip (yes, this really happened) or force-fed dirty cigarette butts.
Walking down the school hallway was akin to maneuvering a mine field. Could I avoid that fist to the gut? Several grinding heels on my toes? An elbow to the jaw? Maybe. But the names always found their mark: queer, faggot, fairy boy, sissy, pansy, fruit, even “mental.” But not “gay.” In those days, gay still meant “happy,” and happy I most assuredly was not.
At close of 8th grade, I wore a scarlet “p” for pariah, despised for merely existing. Do you know how that feels, having everyone hate you? Walking down the hallways, hearing them whisper and laugh and snicker? I can’t describe it. I simply can’t.
To list the torments heaped upon me as a Waterville Junior High student would curl the hair of contemporary readers. Today’s sophisticated sensitivities reject the concept of slamming people for “shits and giggles.” We’re taught to recognize individual differences, respect underdogs and view things from their perspective. Diversity rules, doesn’t it?
I hear these politically correct sentiments or read them sprinkled throughout LGBT and transgender editorials and want to vomit…for if we’ve genuinely progressed from the bullying of my younger days, circa 1963 to 1971, how can “anomalies” like Columbine, Virginia Tech and Sandy Hook be explained?
Our allegedly enlightened world was rocked by the massacre at Columbine High School on April 20th, 1999. Students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold--“misfits,” in the words of school officials--used sawed-off shotguns and assault weapons to launch a fierce on-campus blitzkrieg. Carnage complete, they aimed their weaponry at themselves and ended the bloodiest chapter in American scholastic history.
Media pundits exploited the Columbine tragedy as if it were some freakish sideshow. What caused Harris and Klebold to snap? Reasons could fill textbooks: both loitered about in black trench coats. They were Godless pessimists, morally bankrupt, left-wing slackers, video game junkies, punk rock aficionados. Take your pick.
“We’re going to hell in a hand basket!” the talking heads gasped. “We glorify guns, promote promiscuity, banned prayer from our public schools, and have legalized pot! And those video games…tsk-tsk, so violent! What would Jesus think?”
Demonized, hated en masse, Columbine’s adolescent killers are entwined in infamy. Yet, it was no secret that Harris and Klebold endured a systematic, prolonged peer-group degradation conveniently dismissed as “innocent teasing” (a polite euphemism for bullying). No school official or policy intervened. So-called “anti-bullying rules” were either not enforced or lacked teeth.
The result: 15 dead (including a male gym teacher/coach--very telling), dozens injured, and hundreds shell-shocked and permanently traumatized.
At its base, bullying taps into our bloodthirsty psyches, a prehistoric aspect of Human Nature squashed beneath Civilization’s thumb. Constant vigilance is a necessity. Any lapse, and the monster wreaks havoc…as it did that spring morning in 1999.
Have we learned anything from Columbine? Will we ever truly learn?
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Bullies
May 19, 2017 0:33:10 GMT
via mobile
Post by hi224 on May 19, 2017 0:33:10 GMT
A vicious circle.
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Post by PreachCaleb on May 19, 2017 13:36:25 GMT
I think a lot of people from older generations are more concerned with teaching kids how to defend themselves from bullies rather than just teaching kids to NOT be bullies in the first place.
One major challenge kids nowadays suffer is that their bullying can be much more public with all the social media.
If I got bullied, it was usually just between me and the bully. But now, some kid could film it, post it on social media, and now the entire school can watch and comment.
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Post by Raimo47 on May 19, 2017 15:10:18 GMT
Have you ever been bullied?
Yes. I was bullied in junior high school. It stopped when I fought one of the bullies after school, and when in another instance I got angry and told one bully to f**k off. He got scared and never bullied me again. The fight ended in a draw. I had no problems with him afterwards.
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Post by ghostintheshell on May 19, 2017 18:17:47 GMT
When someone bullies you they're either pretending to look cool/impress someone they like or they're just being a$$holes who derive pleasure from it.
Yes, I have been bullied but I just pretended to laugh at their obviously stupid jokes. My advice? Laugh at their jokes (or atleast pretend to) and don't take them seriously (like ever) they'll probably get tired of bullying you and give up.
Yes, as I've mentioned above, bullies like showing off and when their crushes laugh at them, they take that as a sign.
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Post by Jillian on May 19, 2017 18:23:57 GMT
When someone bullies you they're either pretending to look cool/impress someone they like or they're just being a$$holes who derive pleasure from it. Yes, I have been bullied but I just pretended to laugh at their obviously stupid jokes. My advice? Laugh at their jokes (or atleast pretend to) and don't take them seriously (like ever) they'll probably get tired of bullying you and give up. Yes, as I've mentioned above, bullies like showing off and when their crushes laugh at them, they take that as a sign. Sounds like you have got a strategy there, but can you not change your location in order to get away from those biatches once and for all? I merely ask because I assume that LOTs of energy is being used in order to pretend to laugh at their stupidity. Having a network later in life is important and wasting time and efforts with delinqunts/a**holes is therefore timeconsuming and tiresome and not recommendable.
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Post by ghostintheshell on May 20, 2017 5:39:39 GMT
Moving away from that place is an excellent idea, but some of us have no choice but to put up with their shit every day so pretending that they don't exist won't do you any good when they start pushing you around and throwing things until you acknowledge their presence. Also, Confronting bullies doesn't end "well" for either of you, isn't it easier if you just laugh with them laughing at you rather than exchanging insults? They'll soon grow tired of mocking you because every bully expects their victim to breakdown and run away crying but when you do the exact opposite, they won't know what to do and ultimately, they'll be ones who feel bullied. At first, the fear of even talking to your bullies is crippling, but if you manage to get past the initial fear and take the plunge, you won't have to be afraid of them anymore. But remind yourself that, despite their constant bullying, you are still a better person than those goons and you're just being nice to them when no one else did.
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