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Post by them1ghtyhumph on Sept 19, 2018 23:39:05 GMT
I agree butt mood can. Even seriously incapacitated people can be happy.( at least sometimes if you make it your default as I suggested ) Goz, making 'happy' your default is not like flipping a light switch. I've struggled with depression my whole life. Meds have helped, but not entirely made me happy. When I was on chemo, I was certain it wasn't going to work and I would die as all my relatives had. My chemo nurse told me that I needed a positive attitude!!!.I told her, "Okay, I'm positive that chemo sucks." She stopped the cheerleader act. She switched tactics to quiet support and empathy. That actually helped a little. Genetics, brain chemistry, psychology and environment: we are each at different points on the spectrum. Thank you, Rachel |
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Sept 19, 2018 23:59:19 GMT
Goz, making 'happy' your default is not like flipping a light switch. I've struggled with depression my whole life. Meds have helped, but not entirely made me happy. When I was on chemo, I was certain it wasn't going to work and I would die as all my relatives had. My chemo nurse told me that I needed a positive attitude!!!.I told her, "Okay, I'm positive that chemo sucks." She stopped the cheerleader act. She switched tactics to quiet support and empathy. That actually helped a little. Genetics, brain chemistry, psychology and environment: we are each at different points on the spectrum. Thank you, Rachel You're welcome, take care of yourself. |
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Post by goz on Sept 20, 2018 0:03:35 GMT
I agree butt mood can. Even seriously incapacitated people can be happy.( at least sometimes if you make it your default as I suggested ) Goz, making 'happy' your default is not like flipping a light switch. I've struggled with depression my whole life. Meds have helped, but not entirely made me happy. When I was on chemo, I was certain it wasn't going to work and I would die as all my relatives had. My chemo nurse told me that I needed a positive attitude!!!.I told her, "Okay, I'm positive that chemo sucks." She stopped the cheerleader act. She switched tactics to quiet support and empathy. That actually helped a little. Genetics, brain chemistry, psychology and environment: we are each at different points on the spectrum. EVERYONE has shit in their lives. It is not a level playing field HOWEVER ( and I have suffered from depression as well) there are techniques you can learn to improve your life. For some it is meditation (yes me from time to time) butt the most important thing I have learned is to be present in the accomplishment of small things. The appreciation of small things. The minute by minute appreciation of small things. To me 'happiness' is NOT a big concept, it is the sum of the parts of pleasure in small things. It can be ephemeral and fleeting butt little gems add up to a greater feeling of 'happiness' as the default. I could give banal examples butt I think you might get it. No wait...I will. Get out of bed...nice cup of tea...husband greeting...dog pat...walk...choice of breakfast comestibles...preparing them...phone call from daughter or friend...check out garden...talk to neighbour...cup of coffee...do chores cheerfully ( how nice the stove top looks when clean)… chat to lovely people like you on the interwebs… a spot of shopping...research book...nap...watch the Bold and the Beautiful...enjoy planning and preparing and cooking dinner then EATING it with a glass of wine and a chat with hubby....etc etc etc Nothing in there engenders pure lasting happiness, butt the sum of the parts is a good day. Then there are days when there are doctor visits for sick husband, queues in the supermarket, tax notice, fox takes my chickens...whatever, then hopefully the next day or soon after it returns to default little bits of happiness fun and contentment. |
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Post by them1ghtyhumph on Sept 20, 2018 0:12:43 GMT
Goz, making 'happy' your default is not like flipping a light switch. I've struggled with depression my whole life. Meds have helped, but not entirely made me happy. When I was on chemo, I was certain it wasn't going to work and I would die as all my relatives had. My chemo nurse told me that I needed a positive attitude!!!.I told her, "Okay, I'm positive that chemo sucks." She stopped the cheerleader act. She switched tactics to quiet support and empathy. That actually helped a little. Genetics, brain chemistry, psychology and environment: we are each at different points on the spectrum. EVERYONE has shit in their lives. It is not a level playing field HOWEVER ( and I have suffered from depression as well) there are techniques you can learn to improve your life. For some it is meditation (yes me from time to time) butt the most important thing I have learned is to be present in the accomplishment of small things. The appreciation of small things. The minute by minute appreciation of small things. To me 'happiness' is NOT a big concept, it is the sum of the parts of pleasure in small things. It can be ephemeral and fleeting butt little gems add up to a greater feeling of 'happiness' as the default. I could give banal examples butt I think you might get it. No wait...I will. Get out of bed...nice cup of tea...husband greeting...dog pat...walk...choice of breakfast comestibles...preparing them...phone call from daughter or friend...check out garden...talk to neighbour...cup of coffee...do chores cheerfully ( how nice the stove top looks when clean)… chat to lovely people like you on the interwebs… a spot of shopping...research book...nap...watch the Bold and the Beautiful...enjoy planning and preparing and cooking dinner then EATING it with a glass of wine and a chat with hubby....etc etc etc Nothing in there engenders pure lasting happiness, butt the sum of the parts is a good day. Then there are days when there are doctor visits for sick husband, queues in the supermarket, tax notice, fox takes my chickens...whatever, then hopefully the next day or soon after it returns to default little bits of happiness fun and contentment. I very much like to nap. |
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Sept 20, 2018 0:27:38 GMT
Goz, making 'happy' your default is not like flipping a light switch. I've struggled with depression my whole life. Meds have helped, but not entirely made me happy. When I was on chemo, I was certain it wasn't going to work and I would die as all my relatives had. My chemo nurse told me that I needed a positive attitude!!!.I told her, "Okay, I'm positive that chemo sucks." She stopped the cheerleader act. She switched tactics to quiet support and empathy. That actually helped a little. Genetics, brain chemistry, psychology and environment: we are each at different points on the spectrum. EVERYONE has shit in their lives. It is not a level playing field HOWEVER ( and I have suffered from depression as well) there are techniques you can learn to improve your life. For some it is meditation (yes me from time to time) butt the most important thing I have learned is to be present in the accomplishment of small things. The appreciation of small things. The minute by minute appreciation of small things. To me 'happiness' is NOT a big concept, it is the sum of the parts of pleasure in small things. It can be ephemeral and fleeting butt little gems add up to a greater feeling of 'happiness' as the default. I could give banal examples butt I think you might get it. No wait...I will. Get out of bed...nice cup of tea...husband greeting...dog pat...walk...choice of breakfast comestibles...preparing them...phone call from daughter or friend...check out garden...talk to neighbour...cup of coffee...do chores cheerfully ( how nice the stove top looks when clean)… chat to lovely people like you on the interwebs… a spot of shopping...research book...nap...watch the Bold and the Beautiful...enjoy planning and preparing and cooking dinner then EATING it with a glass of wine and a chat with hubby....etc etc etc Nothing in there engenders pure lasting happiness, butt the sum of the parts is a good day. Then there are days when there are doctor visits for sick husband, queues in the supermarket, tax notice, fox takes my chickens...whatever, then hopefully the next day or soon after it returns to default little bits of happiness fun and contentment. I'm glad all that works for you. I try many of those things but my natural melancholia still lingers, especially when dealing with my current family issue, which is not going to end soon or well. Because I am an artist, I keep an art journal only of the good times, those little moments you speak of; sewing is relaxing, helps to soothe anxiety and makes something beautiful to look at, even though no one knows what it's significance is to me. So when I'm having a bad day, I can look at those small pieces of fiber art and feel some encouragement, a secret place of quiet. And then there is my most empathic cat, who knows when I need a kitty to hug. But it is an ongoing process and many times a struggle. We each handle it differently. Sorry about your chickens; I've resisted getting any just because if a coyote gets one, it would damn near kill me, too. |
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Sept 20, 2018 0:30:47 GMT
EVERYONE has shit in their lives. It is not a level playing field HOWEVER ( and I have suffered from depression as well) there are techniques you can learn to improve your life. For some it is meditation (yes me from time to time) butt the most important thing I have learned is to be present in the accomplishment of small things. The appreciation of small things. The minute by minute appreciation of small things. To me 'happiness' is NOT a big concept, it is the sum of the parts of pleasure in small things. It can be ephemeral and fleeting butt little gems add up to a greater feeling of 'happiness' as the default. I could give banal examples butt I think you might get it. No wait...I will. Get out of bed...nice cup of tea...husband greeting...dog pat...walk...choice of breakfast comestibles...preparing them...phone call from daughter or friend...check out garden...talk to neighbour...cup of coffee...do chores cheerfully ( how nice the stove top looks when clean)… chat to lovely people like you on the interwebs… a spot of shopping...research book...nap...watch the Bold and the Beautiful...enjoy planning and preparing and cooking dinner then EATING it with a glass of wine and a chat with hubby....etc etc etc Nothing in there engenders pure lasting happiness, butt the sum of the parts is a good day. Then there are days when there are doctor visits for sick husband, queues in the supermarket, tax notice, fox takes my chickens...whatever, then hopefully the next day or soon after it returns to default little bits of happiness fun and contentment. I very much like to nap. So do I, and getting enough sleep is good for your health. |
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Post by goz on Sept 20, 2018 0:50:22 GMT
EVERYONE has shit in their lives. It is not a level playing field HOWEVER ( and I have suffered from depression as well) there are techniques you can learn to improve your life. For some it is meditation (yes me from time to time) butt the most important thing I have learned is to be present in the accomplishment of small things. The appreciation of small things. The minute by minute appreciation of small things. To me 'happiness' is NOT a big concept, it is the sum of the parts of pleasure in small things. It can be ephemeral and fleeting butt little gems add up to a greater feeling of 'happiness' as the default. I could give banal examples butt I think you might get it. No wait...I will. Get out of bed...nice cup of tea...husband greeting...dog pat...walk...choice of breakfast comestibles...preparing them...phone call from daughter or friend...check out garden...talk to neighbour...cup of coffee...do chores cheerfully ( how nice the stove top looks when clean)… chat to lovely people like you on the interwebs… a spot of shopping...research book...nap...watch the Bold and the Beautiful...enjoy planning and preparing and cooking dinner then EATING it with a glass of wine and a chat with hubby....etc etc etc Nothing in there engenders pure lasting happiness, butt the sum of the parts is a good day. Then there are days when there are doctor visits for sick husband, queues in the supermarket, tax notice, fox takes my chickens...whatever, then hopefully the next day or soon after it returns to default little bits of happiness fun and contentment. I'm glad all that works for you. I try many of those things but my natural melancholia still lingers, especially when dealing with my current family issue, which is not going to end soon or well. Because I am an artist, I keep an art journal only of the good times, those little moments you speak of; sewing is relaxing, helps to soothe anxiety and makes something beautiful to look at, even though no one knows what it's significance is to me. So when I'm having a bad day, I can look at those small pieces of fiber art and feel some encouragement, a secret place of quiet. And then there is my most empathic cat, who knows when I need a kitty to hug. But it is an ongoing process and many times a struggle. We each handle it differently. Sorry about your chickens; I've resisted getting any just because if a coyote gets one, it would damn near kill me, too. I had a beautiful Scottish collie once who looked remarkably like 'Lassie' only with a little more black. I named her 'Melon'. |
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Sept 20, 2018 1:08:58 GMT
I'm glad all that works for you. I try many of those things but my natural melancholia still lingers, especially when dealing with my current family issue, which is not going to end soon or well. Because I am an artist, I keep an art journal only of the good times, those little moments you speak of; sewing is relaxing, helps to soothe anxiety and makes something beautiful to look at, even though no one knows what it's significance is to me. So when I'm having a bad day, I can look at those small pieces of fiber art and feel some encouragement, a secret place of quiet. And then there is my most empathic cat, who knows when I need a kitty to hug. But it is an ongoing process and many times a struggle. We each handle it differently. Sorry about your chickens; I've resisted getting any just because if a coyote gets one, it would damn near kill me, too. I had a beautiful Scottish collie once who looked remarkably like 'Lassie' only with a little more black. I named her 'Melon'. Awwww.... My first pair of miniature goats were named 'Black and Decker' (US brand of weedeaters and other lawn tools). My second pair of goats just weren't that into weeds, couldn't focus on the task at hand, so they are Willy and Nilly.  |
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Post by goz on Sept 20, 2018 1:12:32 GMT
I had a beautiful Scottish collie once who looked remarkably like 'Lassie' only with a little more black. I named her 'Melon'. Awwww.... My first pair of miniature goats were named 'Black and Decker' (US brand of weedeaters and other lawn tools). My second pair of goats just weren't that into weeds, couldn't focus on the task at hand, so they are Willy and Nilly. You are so lucky...I would kill to be able to have miniature goats! |
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Sept 20, 2018 1:24:30 GMT
Awwww.... My first pair of miniature goats were named 'Black and Decker' (US brand of weedeaters and other lawn tools). My second pair of goats just weren't that into weeds, couldn't focus on the task at hand, so they are Willy and Nilly. You are so lucky...I would kill to be able to have miniature goats! I am lucky - they are so fun to have, watching them doing little miniature head-butting is better than color TV! They tussle over the best mulberry branches, standing on their hind feet and dancing to reach the berries! |
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Post by koskiewicz on Sept 21, 2018 19:07:06 GMT
Just remember:
"Sticks and stones will break my bones,
but names (words) will never hurt me"
If you allow names (words) to hurt you, it is a weakness that can be overcome...
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