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Post by msdemos on Jan 20, 2019 1:46:12 GMT
Even if we never had a lot, or any, friends with the "It" factor, most of us have probably come across these types of people at different times in our lives, whether at work, at school, in social situations, or simply, just in passing. You know the kind of person I'm referring to.......those people that may not necessarily be the handsomest/most beautiful person in the room, may not be the smartest, or may not be the nicest/friendliest/most charming person you've ever known, but, for whatever reason, they seem to have enough of all, or some of those factors, or just have one of those personalities that seems to draw (just about) everyone to them (" Charisma" is usually the one word description that very often gets attributed to most people like this). Have you known many people like this in your lifetime, or, better yet, had (or have) friends who seem to possess this special 'gift'? If so, why do you think it is that they are/were the way they are/were, or became that way ?? Obviously it's often a VERY difficult 'trait' to quantify, or define........you just know it when you see it......but, why do you think it is that they are (or were) the way they are/were?? Do you think it's just dumb 'luck'? Or is it something they maybe had to work at, or develop? And do you think that most of these people even realize they have "it"? Or are they just so used to people reacting to them the way most of us tend to treat people like this, that they never even question it, or, possibly, don't even realize that they have "it"? Whaddya' think ??  SAVE FERRIS |
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Post by Nora on Jan 20, 2019 2:43:51 GMT
Good question. I have certainly met a few people with charisma off the charts. It often does go hand in hand with either good looks or some obvious big talent for something but it always has: sense of humor and confidence. My best male friend has always been so attractive to literally ANY and EVERY woman. All classmates in high school were openly or secretly in love with him, a few teachers had a huge crush on him, and one or two ACTUALLY slept with him after he graduated. My own mother flirted with him, he always had a few girls at work etc. I have known him for 20 years and none of it changed so far. He gets attention from teenager sas well as from fifty year olds. He is good looking, yes. lets say looks wise he is a solid 8, may be 7-9 to some. But his personality is super enticing. He is fun, funny, quite confident and he is also very talented as an artist (wrote an award winning book...) I think some of is success comes from good genes, sure but some of it is also due to his mother who was a strong independent woman, a judge, full of life and with a great sense of humor. I think her ways of bringing the boys up really helped them succeed. She gave them confidence. But even though he clearly has “it”, his life was not super easy. Sure he never struggled to get female attention which must be great, to be able to just walk into a place and kinda point fingers at who you want to hook up with. But he struggled with other various things just as other people do. They perhaps wouldnt know about it unless they knew him really well, but it was there. He has “it” but in the end it doesnt really mean that much. But having confidence in yourself will probably make your life easier the most and gets you closest to having “it. Confidence - not arrogance.  |
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Post by Primemovermithrax Pejorative on Jan 20, 2019 3:01:16 GMT
I remember one time I saw this girl in a class I was attending as a guest (can't remember why) and she wasn't exceptionally attractive or anything but when she spoke she just had an unusually commanding presence.
Another one I knew briefly was studying to be a teacher and she was just POSITIVE all the time. Even she had the flu, it didn't bother her personality. I have known people who acted positive but it seemed like a front, so there was a difference I could detect.
There was a guy in high school was was constantly "on" as a comedian. He could be very funny, but when he was asked to speak to the school on the public speaker he completely and utterly choked. I suspect his comedy was a mask for insecurities. He became a security guard if you can believe it-someone who was always the center of attention in a group-he ended up with a job that isolated him. Years later I saw him with a group of little kids as a guide of some kind so I suppose he found his calling in that.
I suspect it is genetics although life experience can probably play a role.
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Post by Nora on Jan 20, 2019 4:03:30 GMT
I remember one time I saw this girl in a class I was attending as a guest (can't remember why) and she wasn't exceptionally attractive or anything but when she spoke she just had an unusually commanding presence. Another one I knew briefly was studying to be a teacher and s he was just POSITIVE all the time. Even she had the flu, it didn't bother her personality. I have known people who acted positive but it seemed like a front, so there was a difference I could detect. There was a guy in high school was was constantly "on" as a comedian. He could be very funny, but when he was asked to speak to the school on the public speaker he completely and utterly choked. I suspect his comedy was a mask for insecurities. He became a security guard if you can believe it-someone who was always the center of attention in a group-he ended up with a job that isolated him. Years later I saw him with a group of little kids as a guide of some kind so I suppose he found his calling in that. I suspect it is genetics although life experience can probably play a role. positivity is supper attractive or powerful trait. especially when it feels genuine. to a degree i would even say it turns me on. |
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Post by politicidal on Jan 20, 2019 5:09:28 GMT
Knew a few. Some went on to better things. Some peaked in high school and couldn't keep up afterwards.
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Post by Fox in the Snow on Jan 20, 2019 9:44:59 GMT
No, as I don't believe it to actually be a thing. I've met a few who think they have it though.
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