Post by staggerstag on Mar 17, 2019 12:49:11 GMT
A party of home fans are making a real day of it and have reserved entitlements at CUT on Park Lane a couple of hours before heading to the Fulham Palace Road for the game. CUT London has an affiliated establishment in Beverly Hills CA and this lunchtime is host to Fulham fans Alexander, Ethan, Arabella and Delphine, a collective joined at the hip by exclusive online matchmaking sites and, more importantly, old money all round. Their driver waits outside in the restricted parking bay as they gush into the elaborate foyer and are instantly met by a young lady in a ridiculously starched uniform who guides them to their table.
"Ooh, will we make it on time to the Cottage?" squeals Delphine, planting her Rigby & Peller-adorned arse onto her seat. "Weally don't want to miss this one."
"No pwoblem, Delph'," assures Ethan. "We've been too late for a few, I know, but they'll keep our box for us. Haha, they're under stwict instwuctions, you know!"
"Well, we're going to weceive an absolute thwashing, of course," pipes up Alexander.
"And just so what?" opines Arabella. "They're going down anyway, I'm afwaid."
"Erm - we're going down, Awabella," says Alexander. "We. 'They' are the other mob. The mob with the blue flag, 'arf arf'"
"Which they can stick jolly well up their ar - "
Their waiter interrupts with a discreet clearing of his throat and asks for their starters.
Alex and Arabella go for the lettuce salad with cheese and doused in a champagne and herb vinaigrette (£16 each) Ethan and Delphine select the tuna tartare, a Japanese inspired dish that is complimented by a tosa soy sauce (£24 each)
The starters are consumed within minutes and have barely made an impact on their stomachs when the mains are ordered.
But wait, Delphine has spotted the truffle starter on the menu and squeals with delight. This sets off Arabella who makes it a chorus of squeals. "Oh, we simply must twy some!"
Thetwuffles truffles are delivered. They're black and from France and because the women were too excited to specify how the dish should be prepared to their liking the truffles are done by default (£38, and they're gone in minutes)
For the mains, they each select different dishes. Alexander the 14oz rib eye steak done rare (£58, plus onion rings at £8) Arabella the New York sirloin 8oz steak, done medium-well and imported from Idaho (£82, plus a side of French Fries at £8) Ethan the 8oz rib eye steak done medium-rare, imported from Queensland (£94, plus a serving of broccoli and tomatoes at £10) Delphine the lamb chops with a raita sauce (£38, plus a fried egg at £4 and a portion of mushrooms at £7)
They tuck in, and before too long it's time for dessert. "But I'm weally, weally stuffed!" exclaims Arabella, shifting her Simone Perele-adorned arse in her seat.
"Oh, nonsense, Aweb!" cackles Ethan. Let's cwack on, what?"
Their waiter arrives with the dessert menu. He memorizes their orders as the spittle oozes and flicks out of their gobs as they recite their requirements.
They go for two rhubarb and vanilla cheesecakes with sorbet, and two caramel and pear baked Alaskas (£56 all in)
They finish off the last of their wine (Chateau St. Michelle & Dr. Loosen, a 2016 number imported from Washington State @ £75 x 4)
They stagger out and try to find their driver...What a f***ing almost obscene spectacle.
Meanwhile, Fulham come in on the back of six straight league defeats while Liverpool can go two points clear at the top with victory today. Jurgen Klopp, shrugging off Franz Beckenbauer's "come to Munich" post-match Bayern comments, is in no mood for compliments and this week declared that God, and only God, shall be his judge, win, lose, draw or go to hell in a hand basket.
Huddersfield gave West Ham a scare yesterday and the question is, can fellow down and outs Fulham provide some scary entertainment as well today? You wouldn't think so on paper. But let's sit back and bear witness to the nerve of Klopp's boys here today.
Fulham 12/1
Liverpool 2/9
Draw 13/2
"Ooh, will we make it on time to the Cottage?" squeals Delphine, planting her Rigby & Peller-adorned arse onto her seat. "Weally don't want to miss this one."
"No pwoblem, Delph'," assures Ethan. "We've been too late for a few, I know, but they'll keep our box for us. Haha, they're under stwict instwuctions, you know!"
"Well, we're going to weceive an absolute thwashing, of course," pipes up Alexander.
"And just so what?" opines Arabella. "They're going down anyway, I'm afwaid."
"Erm - we're going down, Awabella," says Alexander. "We. 'They' are the other mob. The mob with the blue flag, 'arf arf'"
"Which they can stick jolly well up their ar - "
Their waiter interrupts with a discreet clearing of his throat and asks for their starters.
Alex and Arabella go for the lettuce salad with cheese and doused in a champagne and herb vinaigrette (£16 each) Ethan and Delphine select the tuna tartare, a Japanese inspired dish that is complimented by a tosa soy sauce (£24 each)
The starters are consumed within minutes and have barely made an impact on their stomachs when the mains are ordered.
But wait, Delphine has spotted the truffle starter on the menu and squeals with delight. This sets off Arabella who makes it a chorus of squeals. "Oh, we simply must twy some!"
The
For the mains, they each select different dishes. Alexander the 14oz rib eye steak done rare (£58, plus onion rings at £8) Arabella the New York sirloin 8oz steak, done medium-well and imported from Idaho (£82, plus a side of French Fries at £8) Ethan the 8oz rib eye steak done medium-rare, imported from Queensland (£94, plus a serving of broccoli and tomatoes at £10) Delphine the lamb chops with a raita sauce (£38, plus a fried egg at £4 and a portion of mushrooms at £7)
They tuck in, and before too long it's time for dessert. "But I'm weally, weally stuffed!" exclaims Arabella, shifting her Simone Perele-adorned arse in her seat.
"Oh, nonsense, Aweb!" cackles Ethan. Let's cwack on, what?"
Their waiter arrives with the dessert menu. He memorizes their orders as the spittle oozes and flicks out of their gobs as they recite their requirements.
They go for two rhubarb and vanilla cheesecakes with sorbet, and two caramel and pear baked Alaskas (£56 all in)
They finish off the last of their wine (Chateau St. Michelle & Dr. Loosen, a 2016 number imported from Washington State @ £75 x 4)
They stagger out and try to find their driver...What a f***ing almost obscene spectacle.
Meanwhile, Fulham come in on the back of six straight league defeats while Liverpool can go two points clear at the top with victory today. Jurgen Klopp, shrugging off Franz Beckenbauer's "come to Munich" post-match Bayern comments, is in no mood for compliments and this week declared that God, and only God, shall be his judge, win, lose, draw or go to hell in a hand basket.
Huddersfield gave West Ham a scare yesterday and the question is, can fellow down and outs Fulham provide some scary entertainment as well today? You wouldn't think so on paper. But let's sit back and bear witness to the nerve of Klopp's boys here today.
Fulham 12/1
Liverpool 2/9
Draw 13/2
