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Post by lenlenlen1 on Feb 4, 2020 18:49:30 GMT
I could use some advice with a problem that reared its ugly head amongst my group of friends.
As it turns out we have different opinions on politics. Duh, right? I've learned that when conversations of politics get too heated its time to shut it down and change the subject. But one conversation between us all got past that point. Differences of opinion were aired, and apparently feathers were ruffled.
Now, here's where it gets fugly. One member of the group (Lets call them #1) decided to post some part of the conversation on Facebook (I don't know what they posted exactly as I did not see the post itself). What #1 posted made another member of our group (Lets call them #2) look bad to people that weren't even present at the initial conversation, and #2 took great offense to it.
#2 decided to group text us to give the complaint. #1 did apologize, and took down the Facebook post, but with a caveat. #1 apologized for airing out our business on Facebook, but stands by their assertion that #2 did say some offensive things.
As of right now I don't know where all this stands, as it just happened.
p.s. Hand over my heart, I am not either #1 or #2. They are both friends of mine and one anothers.
My questions: A) What do you think should happen from here on out in the group? Obviously we shouldn't talk politics or post on Facebook. B) Should I insert myself with some advice or friendly word in the hopes of salvaging the group friendship?
Thoughts?
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Post by onethreetwo on Feb 4, 2020 18:55:09 GMT
No I don't think you should do anything. Time should heal all wounds. Let them work it out. You will just muck things up.
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Post by millar70 on Feb 4, 2020 19:07:51 GMT
Anyone who posts anything from a private conversation on a social media site is a bozo. Personally, I cut friend #1 from the picture immediately.
Actions always speak louder than words. Maybe friend #2 said something offensive, but does he/she live their lives in an offensive manner? Do their actions offend you, or just their words?
Meanwhile, friend #1 actually DID something quite offensive, to me anyways. Screw friend #1.
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Post by divtal on Feb 4, 2020 19:33:14 GMT
I agree with Onethreetwo. Let #s 1 and 2 deal with it ... they may have, already, if #2 has accepted the apology. Everybody move on. If it isn't over, perhaps you could all agree not to take specifics of disagreements to social media. I'm not criticizing you for your post, here, as you were very general, and didn't advocate for either of your friends' points of view.
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Post by moviebuffbrad on Feb 4, 2020 20:40:36 GMT
Put me down as a mix of onethreetwo and millar. Let #1 and #2 sort out their own shit, but also be really careful what you say around #1 from here on out. I don't know what exactly #2 said, but posting private conversations to social media is lame as hell and I'd never trust that person again, apology or not.
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rogerthat
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Post by rogerthat on Feb 4, 2020 21:01:43 GMT
Put me down as a mix of onethreetwo and millar. Let #1 and #2 sort out their own shit, but also be really careful what you say around #1 from here on out. I don't know what exactly #2 said, but posting private conversations to social media is lame as hell and I'd never trust that person again, apology or not. I agree with this particularly about being careful of what you say in front of #2
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Post by Nora on Feb 4, 2020 23:13:02 GMT
Interesting... What is their age group if you don’t mind sharing that? Why I ask - I myself 40 years young see everything said amongst friends in private (not publicly on line) as PRIVATE unless specifically labeled as “this is ok to share”. Many of My younger friends, usually early 20ties see it the Other way around. unless something is labeled as Private, they will share it left and right and think it’s totally normal. So sharing it publicly may be somewhat lesser offfense if that person sees it as the norm. Now what was their motivation for that action? Most likely to expose or even attack 2. Now that’s not very nice. But I can easily imagine offensive things someone would say that I would want to make sure others know about them: but if it’s So Bad I wouldn’t probably call them my friends. Like if they were inciting violence or were (old school) racist etc. The fact that some of my friends voted for Trump doesn’t really bother me even thought i myself am on the other side. But I know those people and they are good people and I still like them. One of them is also my ex and a very educated person so that Was a surprise but didn’t change a thing about my feelings for this person. Why should it if they are your friends? Unless they try and force it onto you, now that’s bad. I am not trying to convince my trump voting friends to stop and vice versa. We may even talk about why they chose what they did and what we think about it all. We stop before it gets ugly and somehow it has not been a problem because they are good friends but more importantly - good people. So... if good friends and good people are involved and things don’t naturally improve soon I would probably insert some friendly humor into the situation and try and move things along. If they are not good friends or good people well then.. why care, let them deal with it while you go for a beer with some of your good friends who are good people
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Post by Jayman on Feb 5, 2020 0:22:56 GMT
I also think it's best to stay out of it and let it work itself out over time. I have learned my lesson about discussing politics as well. But I don't even enjoy discussing it anymore so I usually try to change the subject If other people are talking about it when I'm out at night on the weekends.
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Post by MCDemuth on Feb 5, 2020 1:05:23 GMT
My friend's wife used to say all kinds of personal things on Facebook, such as: " We are going to the doctor's office tomorrow afternoon!"... I advised her not to do that, because that encouraged thieves to rob their home... But she didn't seem to appreciate that. She also had Facebook addiction too... posting useless crap while in the bathroom... and she also couldn't understand it when other people wouldn't respond to her posts, within just a few minutes. She contacted my parents, when I didn't respond to one of her posts, within less than 24 hours...Because she thought something might be wrong with me!... I told her, I didn't LIVE on facebook! Yeah, She an I got into a few fights over the differences in how we both used Facebook... Finally, one day, ABOUT 8 YEARS AGO, she did something similar to what lenlenlen1 described: " decided to post some part of the conversation on Facebook"... She started this discussion, to everyone who knew her: " To the person who doesn't like what I do on Facebook"... She didn't mention my name, but yeah, it was obvious that it was about me... In the discussion she seeked and got advice from her other friends, who told her to block me, and that is what she did... I was blocked, before I could even respond to it. To make things worse, I, sadly, couldn't talk to my friend about his wife, because she always answered his e-mail & cell phones... Even if I could get a hold of HIM, I knew that he would have to pick a side, and, well, I knew it wouldn't be me. And So, My friendship with him, ended right then and there... And I quite using Facebook too, and I haven't looked back... In My Opinion, Facebook & Twitter are cesspools filled with electronic brick addicts who can't talk to people face to face anymore, and can't keep private discussions to themselves... It's also sicking about how some users discuss some very personal things which they really should keep to themselves too... lenlenlen1It seems to me, that Member #1, violated the trust of your group, and isn't really a true friend... I think you should end your friendship with Member #1, before Member #1 starts talking about " Who Knows What" about YOU with the rest of the world, behind your back. Yeah, I know... I guess everyone here could say, we are talking about Member #1, behind Member #1's back... But, Member #1 did it first... ( You could used what ever "cliche'd" response you want, to justify that..)
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Post by dianachristensen on Feb 5, 2020 1:13:15 GMT
I could use some advice with a problem that reared its ugly head amongst my group of friends.
As it turns out we have different opinions on politics. Duh, right? I've learned that when conversations of politics get too heated its time to shut it down and change the subject. But one conversation between us all got past that point. Differences of opinion were aired, and apparently feathers were ruffled.
Now, here's where it gets fugly. One member of the group (Lets call them #1) decided to post some part of the conversation on Facebook (I don't know what they posted exactly as I did not see the post itself). What #1 posted made another member of our group (Lets call them #2) look bad to people that weren't even present at the initial conversation, and #2 took great offense to it.
#2 decided to group text us to give the complaint. #1 did apologize, and took down the Facebook post, but with a caveat. #1 apologized for airing out our business on Facebook, but stands by their assertion that #2 did say some offensive things.
As of right now I don't know where all this stands, as it just happened.
p.s. Hand over my heart, I am not either #1 or #2. They are both friends of mine and one anothers.
My questions: A) What do you think should happen from here on out in the group? Obviously we shouldn't talk politics or post on Facebook. B) Should I insert myself with some advice or friendly word in the hopes of salvaging the group friendship?
Thoughts? Go h.a.m. on #1, #2 and all the rest of your friends in the group, giving them something to bond over at your own expense. Absolutely do not insert yourself. If the group, or any parts of it, are worth anything, those anythings will come through. It's out of your hands.
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Post by dianachristensen on Feb 5, 2020 1:29:04 GMT
Also, I really like how you liked your own op, here.
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Post by politicidal on Feb 5, 2020 1:56:22 GMT
Friend #1 sounds like a real chump.
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Post by Jayman on Feb 5, 2020 2:28:03 GMT
Also, I really like how you liked your own op, here. I am guilty of doing that occasionally. If you know your post is awesome, why not I say
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Post by dianachristensen on Feb 5, 2020 3:38:25 GMT
Also, I really like how you liked your own op, here. I am guilty of doing that occasionally. If you know your post is awesome, why not I say Meh, I'm still getting over that his op was not about farting.
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Post by Jayman on Feb 5, 2020 3:55:41 GMT
I am guilty of doing that occasionally. If you know your post is awesome, why not I say Meh, I'm still getting over that his op was not about farting. Oh yeah that is an issue at my work place but not so much in my group of friends
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Post by dianachristensen on Feb 5, 2020 3:57:42 GMT
Meh, I'm still getting over that his op was not about farting. Oh yeah that is an issue at my work place but not so much in my group of friends Lol. movieliker has much more interesting real life drama llamas, at least based on General Discussion threads. Just sayin
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Post by movieliker on Feb 5, 2020 6:49:57 GMT
I could use some advice with a problem that reared its ugly head amongst my group of friends.
As it turns out we have different opinions on politics. Duh, right? I've learned that when conversations of politics get too heated its time to shut it down and change the subject. But one conversation between us all got past that point. Differences of opinion were aired, and apparently feathers were ruffled.
Now, here's where it gets fugly. One member of the group (Lets call them #1) decided to post some part of the conversation on Facebook (I don't know what they posted exactly as I did not see the post itself). What #1 posted made another member of our group (Lets call them #2) look bad to people that weren't even present at the initial conversation, and #2 took great offense to it.
#2 decided to group text us to give the complaint. #1 did apologize, and took down the Facebook post, but with a caveat. #1 apologized for airing out our business on Facebook, but stands by their assertion that #2 did say some offensive things.
As of right now I don't know where all this stands, as it just happened.
p.s. Hand over my heart, I am not either #1 or #2. They are both friends of mine and one anothers.
My questions: A) What do you think should happen from here on out in the group? Obviously we shouldn't talk politics or post on Facebook. B) Should I insert myself with some advice or friendly word in the hopes of salvaging the group friendship?
Thoughts? I wouldn't do anything. They will probably both get over it in time.
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Post by movieliker on Feb 5, 2020 6:50:18 GMT
Oh yeah that is an issue at my work place but not so much in my group of friends Lol. movieliker has much more interesting real life drama llamas, at least based on General Discussion threads. Just sayin Thanks.
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Post by Nora on Feb 5, 2020 13:38:28 GMT
A) What do you think should happen from here on out in the group? Obviously we shouldn't talk politics or post on Facebook.If you're all adults, politics is what informed and social people talk about. It's ridiculous to ban political conversations among friends. Friends can disagree on politics and still be friends. And friends shouldn't take such opinions personal if someone disagrees with them. That's where the problem lies, lack of respect for the opinions of others. Sorry, you're not really friends if you don't respect the free speech of others. As for posting it on Facebook, why not? Again, can't friends talk about politics on Facebook? I've never heard a rule that one person can't say another person said XYZ. Since when is a group conversation "private" and cannot be discussed? If it was incorrect what #1 said #2 said, cannot #2 post a correction on Facebook? It sounds like your group is trying to put too many restrictions on each others speech. Frankly, you have no right to do that. Talk politics. And sorry, you can say someone said this. Group speech is public. Duh, someone repeated a conversation about politics. They didn't post on Facebook that #1 is sleeping with #3's wife. Political opinion is not confidential and private. B) Should I insert myself with some advice or friendly word in the hopes of salvaging the group friendship?Yes. You're friends. And friends can talk to other friends and try to heal misunderstandings between friends. I like your post the only part I don’t agree is the “political opinion is not confidential and private”. Not only it Is, it’s considered “sensitive personal data” in most countries outside of the US but even in the US (on a state level the federal law is still in the making but it’s coming) it’s personal data this data requiring. Careful handling. So unless the person making a statement on their political beliefs made it in a clearly public setting (such as online with no access restriction) it should not be disclosed without their consent. Also not a fan of “group speech is public”. It’s only public if it has unrestricted access to it and is labeled or at least intended as public, which is not always. But I understand different people may have different personal preference on what they themselves see as private vs public.
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Feb 5, 2020 14:58:20 GMT
Also, I really like how you liked your own op, here. You saw that, huh? LOL!
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