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Post by dirtypillows on May 2, 2020 0:11:10 GMT
I recently participated in Fox in the Snow's thread on your **** movies by each decade. And I realized that I had awarded the coveted **** to more movies than anybody else by far. I don't have any problem with that, but it did make me think about the movies that I would give only * and whether or not it was commensurate with do dispensing of the highest rating.
So here is my list of * movies. I will try to be as complete as I can be. This is not by decade, but as I recall each movie.
"Manos: Hands of Fate" - excruciating, unbearable, mind numbing and 475 minutes long
"Graduation Day"
"Play it as it Lays"
"Pieces"
"Texas Chainsaw Massacre, part 2" (1986)
"The Matrix"
"Jaws 4:The Revenge" (this time it's personal!)
"St. Valentine's Day Massacre" (1967)
"House of 1000 Corpses"
"Hostel 2"
"The Devil's Rejects"
"Inland Empire"
"Jennifer on My Mind"
"Still of the Night"
"Jeepers Creepers"
"I Dismember Mama"
"The Brood"
"Murder Mystery", with Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler. Obnoxious and unfunny comedy, it almost seemed dumb on purpose. Plus, I can't stand Adam Sandler.
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Post by Catman on May 2, 2020 0:20:02 GMT
Garfield: The Movie - terrible
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Post by dirtypillows on May 2, 2020 0:20:50 GMT
Garfield: The Movie - terrible You're cute. |
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Post by Prime etc. on May 2, 2020 0:27:01 GMT
"St. Valentine's Day Massacre" (1967)
*What the?
How can that be on anyone's worst list?
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Post by Captain Spencer on May 2, 2020 0:30:46 GMT
I agree with you on Graduation Day. Bottom-of-the-barrel slasher that's poor in all departments.
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Post by Raimo47 on May 2, 2020 0:34:53 GMT
Shadow of the Vampire
Avenging Angelo
Summer of Sam
Ginger Snaps
The People Under the Stairs
The 'Burbs
The Cell
Dances with Wolves
An American Werewolf in London (The worst movie I have ever seen)
The Ring
Schindler's List
Batman & Robin
Brotherhood of the Wolf
Cannibal Holocaust
Day of the Dead
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Post by dirtypillows on May 2, 2020 0:49:33 GMT
"St. Valentine's Day Massacre" (1967) *What the? How can that be on anyone's worst list? I just watched it for the first time yesterday, so some time may have a mellowing effect. But I thought it was confusing and unfocused and every five minutes here came another random attack. The movie took too much for granted and I really couldn't tell why they were shooting at each other, other than the fact that they were two opposing gangs. And what was so special about the attack that took place on February 14th? It was no worse than any of other 17 or so attacks that took place in the movie. Was it simply because it happened on St. Valentine's Day? Oh, the humanity. And why were they shooting at each other and who was shooting whom? Where was the plot? I took this as seriously as a first grade play production. It didn't help that all the men looked alike. Jason Robards overacted, screaming and hollering and being a bratty pain in the butt. George Segal was even worse. I've never liked Segal and this movie caused my dislike to intensify. The scene where he was eating sandwich, was he directed to make as many of those gross, intolerable eating-smacking sounds as possible? I suppose it was meant to convey the character's crudeness, but I wanted him to suffer the worst fate possible for being so completely obnoxious and irritating. I think Segal is the actor whom I dislike more than any other actor. I like him in nothing, beginning with "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" I guess he was well cast in that movie, a smug, snarky, hypocritical, ambitious, rude, low down sneak. I hate all his characters. Finally, I thought the movie was exceedingly unpleasant to simply look at. This was not my choice of movie to watch, but I thought since it took place in Chicago, I could look forward to picking out familiar locations and landmarks. No such luck. The movie was all sets. And it was artificial looking in the extreme. Every interior scene was grossly overlit and it all looked so cold and so flat that it made me squirm. The movie had all the substance and interest, for me, of a cardboard wall with some crayon doodlings. Gray cartoon doodlings, that is. The movie was a travesty to the testament of color. Ugly, boring, flat, loud and obnoxious. |
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Post by dirtypillows on May 2, 2020 0:59:03 GMT
Shadow of the Vampire Avenging Angelo Summer of Sam Ginger Snaps The People Under the Stairs The 'Burbs The Cell Dances with Wolves An American Werewolf in London (The worst movie I have ever seen) The Ring Schindler's List Batman & Robin Brotherhood of the Wolf Cannibal Holocaust Day of the Dead I'm glad to see "Schindler's List" on somebody's list. I don't like the movie, either and would give it ** out of four. It is by far my least favorite SS movie. I've never seen "Cannibal Holocaust" and I never will. Looks like too much. |
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coop032
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Post by coop032 on May 2, 2020 1:10:27 GMT
Collateral Beauty
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Post by darksidebeadle on May 2, 2020 1:12:48 GMT
The two movies that I would rate 0/10
Transformers dark of the moon
Transformers revenge of the fallen
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Post by Archelaus on May 2, 2020 1:26:24 GMT
Jaws: The Revenge
Batman & Robin
Date Movie
Epic Movie
Meet the Spartans
Disaster Movie
Vampires Suck
Dragonball Evolution
The Cat in the Hat
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Post by dirtypillows on May 2, 2020 2:12:07 GMT
I would think the producers of most of these movies don’t give a flip if they get the lowest critical ratings. They’ve made their money via tax shelter investors to create this schlock. It’s the occasional piece of schlock that manages to rise above it that are interesting. However, movies made not as schlock or “big-budget, A-list vehicular homicides,” I rate lowly examples: The Hateful Eight Avatar Titanic The Avengers (1998) Just about anything with Tyler Perry in the title I guess I can agree with what you're saying about low-budget bad versus high-budget bad. Except for "Manos", which at around 70 minutes seriously felt like two and a half hours. Never has a movie dragged like this one did. Watching the movie was an experience akin to falling down on the floor and not being able to even sit up because your skull has been filled to capacity with wet cement. The movie is unfathomable. No other movie can touch the awfulness of "Manos". Having said that, there are a few low-budget, grade Z productions that I like. I enjoy "Horror of Party Beach" very much. It's fascinating to watch and try to figure out where the filmmaker was coming from. The movie is a hodgepodge of genres, horror, science fiction and a musical! Anybody that audacious deserves a little recognition. In contrast to "St. Valentine's Day Massacre", I actually enjoy this movie's underlit look. Scenes on the beach have the feel of a dark storm brewing and I love that! It has some of the same conventions of the 50s low-budget science fiction nuclear energy omen movies, which I just find fun in general. Obviously, it's an unpretentious outing and then there's Eulabelle! I give "Horror of Party Beach" a solid ***. I also like Ed Wood's infamous "Glen or Glenda". This movie is genuinely bizarre (as opposed to self-consciously bizarre and off-putting) and it's absolutely fascinating. This movie was made in 1953 and it STILL feels ahead of its time. What subject matter! The movie has invention and it has a huge heart and Ed Eood made it by the seat of his pants. There can be something very endearing about this. And contrary to "Manos", this movie does not drag. I would have not minded more of it. I love the 1974 low-budget psychological horror film "Persecution", with glamorous-tacky Lana Turner at the helm. It's got some of the "Psycho" mother-son plot, so that gets it going. Again, I love the look and feel of the dark house interiors. The hilarity may be unintentional, but if it brings the laughs, I could not care less and bring the laughs it does, especially with one sinister and ominous overweight grey Persian kitty cat named Sheba, hence the movie's alternate title "The Terror of Sheba". Lana and Sheba have delicious chemistry as they sit around the big fireplace while Lana reminisces about all the foolish men in her past. Sheba's reactions to Lana's melodrama are to look disinterested and bored. Sheba's best moment takes place in the maze in the backyard garden. The movie is never boring. In fact, after "Reform School Girls" and possibly the 1972 "Heat", "Persecution" is the funniest movie I have ever seen. I mean who cares about a well-crafted comedy when you can have the real deal? |
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Post by dirtypillows on May 2, 2020 3:04:12 GMT
I recently participated in Fox in the Snow's thread on your **** movies by each decade. And I realized that I had awarded the coveted **** to more movies than anybody else by far. I don't have any problem with that, but it did make me think about the movies that I would give only * and whether or not it was commensurate with my dispensing of the highest rated. So here is my list of * movies. I will try to be as complete as I can be. This is not by decade, but as I recall each movie. "Manos: Hands of Fate" - excruciating, unbearable, mind numbing and 475 minutes long "Graduation Day" "Play it as it Lays" "Pieces" "Texas Chainsaw Massacre, part 2" (1986) "The Matrix" "Jaws 4:The Revenge" (this time it's personal!) "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" (1967) "House of 1000 Corpses" "Hostel 2 "The Devil's Rejects" "Inland Empire" "Jennifer on My Mind" "Still of the Night" I don't care for a 4 star rating system. I like 5 or out of 10 Mr. Dirty.
I thought you like TCM part 2. It also has a great atmosphere too in the bunker\caves. It is a bit potty, but overall I still think it works and is still humorously disturbing.
I also really like the Rob Zombie films you have included and Hostel 2 I think is a terrific follow-up. I see one and two as a whole film. Although I wasn't happy they killed off Paxton, especially after all he went through in the first to survive. That was a cop-out I thought. They are cruel and sadistic films though.
I have seen most of the others on your list besides a few and don't really care for them. I was only thinking of my worst movie ever the other day. It is called Carnival Of Blood - 70'. It is not even cheap cheesy fun, just so absolutely awful in every respect, from the acting, to the script, to the direction, that I can't see one redeeming thing about it except for the end. It makes H.G. Lewis look like a genuine auteur.
I used to like TCM2, but when I saw it again about a month ago, I just couldn't stand it. Yeah, the Christmas light filled tunnel is still pretty cool, but it's do loud and frenetic and I thought unfunny. I was pounding my head. I sort of forgot about H.G. Lewis. My friend adored him and his movies. His movies are genuinely strange. His infamous gore films I almost don't know how I feel about them; I guess I'd say they are oddly cold films. But I did like "She Devils on Wheels". That one was pretty fun and it didn't feel or look anything like the gore fests. Doris Wishman was a weirdo, too. I'll need to go back and add "I Dismember Mama" to my list. Are you familiar with Wishman, Toasted Cheese? She was truly one of a kind. And one would never guess it, but Doris Wishman was the human being responsible for those two odd odd odd flicks, "Deadly Weapons" and "Double Agent 73" starring that freak of nature, Chesty Morgan, of the elephantine, circus peanut breasts. It's beyond strange that these movies were both made by a woman. I prefer the 10 count system as well as it affords more nuance of merit and like/dislike, but Fox had used the **** so I just was going to go with that. I hate the Hostel films so much because they're not the cheesy slasher movie gore fun with low aspirations, e.g. any one of the F-13th sequels, and Eli Roth seems like a spoiled brat who is so dangerously bored with his lot in life that he has no feeling, as these movies have no feeling. His attitude towards his victims is vile and cruel. (Particularly towards poor Lana. I can't watch that scene.) The fact that he seems to hold his villains in slightly higher esteem is just creepy. It's Roth's fantasy and I think it is clear that he enjoys watching human suffering because that is where all the zeal goes, and the fact that Roth is SMUG about what he is doing makes things even worse. Compared to the Hostel movies, "Salo" is humane and tender and intelligent. At least some thought and care went into that Pasolini film. Roth, for me, is beyond contempt. Rob Zombie is not much better. |
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Post by dirtypillows on May 2, 2020 3:23:41 GMT
Shadow of the Vampire Avenging Angelo Summer of Sam Ginger Snaps The People Under the Stairs The 'Burbs The Cell Dances with Wolves An American Werewolf in London (The worst movie I have ever seen) The Ring Schindler's List Batman & Robin Brotherhood of the Wolf Cannibal Holocaust Day of the Dead Out of curiosity, how does American Werewolf rate as your worst movie within context of the genre and your own personal taste?
It is all subjective of course, and while some of those films on your list I may rate as only mediocre, and 6 of them I haven't seen, it is an interesting list to say the least.
I don't like Schindler's List, but I wouldn't consider a worst list contender, I just find it bland and boring. I would give it a 5\10. I absolutely adore Dances With Wolves, which is one of my very few 10 rated films in terms of cinematic elements and quality that all meld together to make pretty much a perfect film for me.
I refuse to see Cannibal Holocaust, due to all the animal cruelty involved that I have read about. When I was a kid, I would have jumped at the chance to see it though.
I liked "An American Werewolf in London" and thought the David Naughton character was very appealing. It was not a badly made movie, so there must about something on a personal level that rubbed him the wrong way. Don't know. I've never seen "Dances With Wolves". My dad loves that movie. It's not gory like "Braveheart", is it, Toasted Cheese? I only saw part of the ending of that movie and it was enough to know that I will never attempt to watch it. I like my blood and gore cheesy and unrealistic. Or imaginative and beautiful, ala Dario Argento. Re: Hostel, cruel and sadistic, yes, exactly. |
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Post by onethreetwo on May 2, 2020 3:56:35 GMT
Hesher is unbearable drek.
Beasts of the Southern Wild is jawdropingly racist.
Ravenous and it's weird ass soundtrack is nothing short of disappointing. It's a total fail.
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Post by FridayOnElmStreet on May 2, 2020 4:53:53 GMT
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Post by dirtypillows on May 2, 2020 5:05:32 GMT
I would think the producers of most of these movies don’t give a flip if they get the lowest critical ratings. They’ve made their money via tax shelter investors to create this schlock. It’s the occasional piece of schlock that manages to rise above it that are interesting. However, movies made not as schlock or “big-budget, A-list vehicular homicides,” I rate lowly examples: The Hateful Eight Avatar Titanic The Avengers (1998) Just about anything with Tyler Perry in the title I hated "Titanic" and "Avatar" as well and would give a * 1/2 to each, only slightly better than the worst of the worst. Boring, overly long, flat and way over-produced, these two movies have nothing I want. |
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Post by dirtypillows on May 2, 2020 5:12:30 GMT
Thanks for sharing your comprehensive list. Those look like some really bad titles. The only that I've seen is #32 - "Food of the Gods 2", also known as "Gnaw", if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, it was pretty bad. The saving grace for me being when all the giant rats go after all the girls doing water ballet in the high school swimming pool. That part was hilarious. The rest of it was boring. |
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Post by FridayOnElmStreet on May 2, 2020 6:53:02 GMT
I have seen 3 of those films on your list Friday. The remake of Elm St. and Igor And The Lunatics and they are thoroughly deserving of being on there. However, I did love the remake of The Karate Kid. The Karate Kid was just a film I felt absolutely nothing for. It was like a piece of air to me.
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Post by rudeboy on May 2, 2020 7:02:07 GMT
I don't give out 1/10 very often (2/10 - a lot more), and I try to avoid films that I'm fairly certain I'll hate, so I'll just list whatever I rated bottom of the barrel since 2000.
Epoch (2000)
A Fighting Chance (2001)
Not Another Teen Movie (2001)
15: The Movie (2003)
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004)
The Village (2004)
The Dark (2005)
The Producers (2005)
Meet the Spartans (2008)
Private Romeo (2011)
Our Sister Mambo (2015)
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)
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