Post by progressiveelement on May 4, 2017 15:44:33 GMT
How many of these have you read?
1. Agatha Christie
-Poirot, Miss Marple, murder mysteries.
2. William Shakespeare
-Hamlet, Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, etc.
3. Barbara Cartland
-Crappy old-fashioned romance crap.
4. Danielle Steel
-Crappy, mostly formulaic rich tossers having a crisis crap.
5. Harold Robbins
-Smutty lives of the rich and famous, usually thinly based on real people. The Carpetbaggers - Howard Hughes, The Betsy - Henry Ford and empire, etc
6. Georges Simenon
-Maigret, and a fair few thrillers and dark dramas.
7. Sidney Sheldon
-Glitzy crappy chick novels, usually involving some tart getting in over her head, or some skullduggery.
8. Enid Blyton
-Noddy, Famous Five, Secret Seven, etc.
9. J. K. Rowling
-Harry Potter.
10. Dr Seuss
-The Grinch, The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, etc
11. Gilbert Patten
-Brave dashing all-American adventurous young sports heroes.
12. Leo Tolstoy
-War and Peace, Anna Karenina, lots of God stuff and other material that turns on the literati.
13. Corin Tellado
-Crappy photonovels of the kind you often see in Dear Sex-Crazed Old Biddy, Please Help Me Out Cuz I'm Boning My Sister pages in tabloids.
14. Jackie Collins
-Kinda like Harold Robbins, without any kind of restraint. Late sister of Joan, who just happened to be the main star of two films based on books by....Jackie.
15. Horatio Alger Jr
-One-time kiddie fiddler who liked to write about kids. True. Usually, some kid from poor background helps out some rich geezer, and that rich paed...I mean benefactor will help the kid rise in status.
16. R. L. Stine
-Goosebumps, and a load of other kiddie horrors, and a few not-so-kiddie ones.
17. Dean Koontz
-Yes, Mr King's inferior has had more sales - but in truth, a good few of those were written at first under pseudonyms. This author has even had the bare-faced cheek of bringing out books that are in fact simply revised versions of older novels with a new title (Icebound, for example). Well, I did like Phantoms...even though it was suspiciously similar to The Thing (1982), published one year later.
18. Nora Roberts
-Writes lots of romantic slush, and sci-fi cop stuff, often under different names.
19. Alexander Pushkin
-Chalk another writer up who could have been referenced in Django Unchained.... Mr Pushkin, Russia's other great writer, was part-African descent.
20. Stephen King
-The king of modern horror. Writes fantasies too like The Dark Tower. Also wrote The Running Man and a few others as Richard Bachman.
21. Paulo Coelho
-Spiritual mumbo jumbo.
22. Louis L'Amour
-Specialized in westerns.
23. Erle Stanley Gardner
-Perry Mason, other similar mysteries.
24. Jin Yong
-Think of those wi-fi Asian martial arts fantasies in book form.
25. Jiro Akagawa
-Mysteries.
26. Janet Dailey
-Romantic slush.
27. Edgar Wallace
-Wrote books in his sleep. A frequent source for German krimi films, a kind of precursor to Italian gialli thrillers. Also helped create King Kong.
28. Robert Ludlum
-Creator of Jason Bourne. Tends to write books about government conspiracies, Nazi conspiracies, basically people in charge are bad people trying to run the planet.
29. James Patterson
-Creator of Alex Cross. Also "co-author" of lots and lots of book series of various genres, like these ones about young dudes with wings.
30. Frederic Dard
-Tongue-in-cheek spy stuff.
31. Jeffrey Archer
-Should probably stick to the political stuff.
32. Stan and Jan Berenstain
-Stupid anthropomorphic bears that should have been shot and made into rugs when the 50s died. Preachy preachy pap that any cool kid would run miles from.
33. Roald Dahl
-WELSH-born kiddie author supremo. The Witches, The BFG, James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Also wrote Tales of the Unexpected. Remember that show with the theme tune that sounded like a fairground carousel?
34. John Grisham
-Legal thrillers, mainly. Likes to whine a lot about violence in movies. Well I say he can stick it up his pompous ass, and then poop it into his corn flakes, and eat it all.
35. Zane Grey
-Another Western specialist.
36. Irving Wallace
-Thrillers, smutty stuff, he and his family made a load of pretty cool Books of Lists.
37. J. R. R. Tolkien
-Screw Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings is the ruler!!!
38. Karl May
-German guy, liked to write westerns, and adventures in exotic places.
39. Mickey Spillane
-Mike Hammer, private investigator who tends to solve crimes with fists and guns. Mickey actually played him once in the movie The Girl Hunters.
40. C. S. Lewis
-Creator of Narnia, and other stuff, wrote a load of non-fiction about belief in God, so no wonder the crazed departed New Zealand witch from the devil's latrine liked to hawk foul blackened mucus in excitement when mentioning his name.
41. Kyotaro Nishimura
-Mysteries
42. Dan Brown
-Angels and Demons, The Da Vinci Code, conspiracy thrillers with clues that may as well be big arrows pointing at things.
43. Ann M Martin
-The Baby Sitters Club
44. Ryotaro Shiba
-Wrote historical stuff.
45. Arthur Hailey
-Seemed to pick some random backdrop and play out soapy dramas and thrillers against them. Airport, Hotel, there was one he did about a car manufacturing company, another one about a power company.
46. Gerard de Villiers
-Very Bond-ish spy stuff, only a lot more violent, and sexually explicit.
47. Beatrix Potter
-Lots of tales of talking goddam critters. Rabbits, beavers, hedgehogs, even freaking spiders in one of them. I'd still stand on them, especially if it talked.
48. Michael Crichton
-Sciencey thrillers, usually science goes tits up. Jurassic Park, The Lost World, The Andromeda Strain, Sphere, Congo, etc.
49. Richard Scarry
-Kiddie books.
50. Clive Cussler
-Adventuring heroes saving the planet from mad terrorists, megalomaniacs, etc, occasionally finding lost artefacts, sunken shipwrecks, historical conspiracies.
51. Alistair MacLean
-Adventure stories, often World War 2 ones, but tended to be men-on-a-mission type stories.
52. Ken Follett
-WELSH guy, writes war stories, and historical epic extravaganzas.
53. Astrid Lindgren
-Pippi effing Longstocking, lots of stuff about kids, and one kids book that was more likely to entertain thoughts of suicide as it was so goddam depressing.
54. Debbie Macomber
-Romantic slush.
55. E. L. James
-Who'd have thought writing bad BDSM fiction could make you millions?
56. Eiji Yoshikawa
-Wrote more easily digestible versions of historical tales.
57. Catherine Cookson
-Misery galore for poor downtrodden working class people in Ancient Britain (circa late 19th Century, to Edwardian era, and one sojourn into World War 2), but if romance is involved that transcends classes, it usually works out in the end.
58. Stephenie Meyer
-If you ever want to blame someone for stupid sparkling vampires...
59. Norman Bridwell
-Clifford the Big Red Dog
60. David Baldacci
-Thrillers, usually political in nature.
61. Evan Hunter, better known as Ed McBain
-Crime writer specialist. Also wrote the script for The Birds.
62. Andrew Neiderman
-Writes a load of fan fiction....I mean he's the one writing all the Virginia Andrews books post-dead. He did write The Devil's Advocate under his own name though. Yes, the movie was based on it.
63. Roger Hargreaves
-Mr Men and Little Miss.
64. Anne Rice
-Long before sparkling vampires, we had the Vampire Chronicles with Lestat and a bunch of others. A fave for Goths. She also wrote some Christian stuff. And other horror stuff. And also some smutty sexually explicit stuff under a false name, holy crap she had one filthy mind when she wrote what was a loose porno version of Sleeping Beauty, and sequels.
65. Robin Cook
-Medical thrillers, like that creepy one Coma. The film of which was directed by Michael Crichton, trivia nerds!
66. Wilbur Smith
-African-set tales of adventure, backstabbing bastards, terror, war, historical stuff.
67. Erskine Caldwell
-Tended to tap into similar territory as John Steinbeck, only went quite a bit further. A Southern boy unafraid to depict the American South in a very bad light. Was all for eugenics, which should please psycho coffin dodgers.
68. Judith Krantz
-More romance.
69. Eleanor Hibbert
-More romance.
70. Lewis Carroll
-Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass
71. Denise Robins
-More romantic slush.
72. Cao Xueqin
-Dream of the Red Chamber
73. Ian Fleming
-The most famous author of spy fiction, unless you're a moron and announce you've not heard of him. Like one poster on this board, who I will not mention by name. I will say though, that perhaps if one whispers "James Bond" to him, preferably not in the manner that he uses on sleeping underage girls, it might jog his memory.
74. Herman Hesse
-Spiritual mumbo jumbo.
75. Rex Stout
-Loads of mysteries, usually involving Rex Stoat, a guy who sits on his ass all day (most of the time) but still manages to solve the mystery.
76. Anne Golon
-Slushy French slushy slush.
77. Frank G. Slaughter
-Medical stories.
78. Edgar Rice Burroughs
-Tarzan, Jack Carter, Pellucidar, he sure liked these adventures about exotic lands, handsome strong heroes, and buxom young women waiting to be rescued.
79. John Creasey
-Crime stuff.
80. James Michener
-Tended to be mix of fiction and fact in his historical epics, often seemed like he simply threw a dart at a map, and whatever area it landed on, he'd write a sweeping episodic tale about it from ancient times, to more modern.
81. Yasuo Uchida
-Mystery stuff.
82. Seiichi Moshimura
-Mystery stuff. Japanese sure love these detective stories, and murder mysteries.
83. Mary Higgins Clark
-Thrillers.
84. Penny Jordan
-Romantic slush.
85. Patricia Cornwell
-Thrillers.
And last name on the list, of course it would be...
86. Tom Clancy
-America saves the world from whatever villain is America's enemy at the time the books are written. Often includes lovingly detailed descriptions of military hardware, and guns. When it comes to political scenes, liberal types are often corrupt bastards always scheming and thinking only of their own image and never looking out for the United States of America, unlike Jack Ryan and co!!!
