What classics did you see last week? (23rd Aug to 29th Aug)

My run on watching classic film noir continued today with the fantastic The Asphalt Jungle (1950).

At one point I remember thinking, "Hmm, that blonde actress is really hot but she's doing a Monroe." Then I looked up the cast. . . .

She definitely stood out. I was going to look up what kind of career she had after this movie, but when I was shocked to find that the Monroe imitator was actually Monroe I forgot to. Thanks!

“Cut Throat City” Distributed by Well Go USA Entertainment, 132 Minutes, Rated R, Released August 21, 2020:

In “Cut Throat City,” four men living in New Orleans during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in 2005, friends since childhood, find their economic recovery from the disaster difficult. With challenges in earning sufficient incomes, no real assistance from the government, and the mounting financial pressures of growing families and adult responsibilities, the four are conscripted by a local crime lord to rob a casino, a job framed as a source of easy money.

But when one of the men is mortally wounded during the holdup and the proceeds of the robbery are only a small fraction of the amount claimed publicly by the casino, the three survivors encounter an increasing pressure from the police, corrupt politicians, the casino, and elements of organized crime, and find their lives spiraling out of control until the only logical solution is another robbery...and possibly even another after that.

A crackling combination of crime drama and social commentary from director RZA, “Cut Throat City” gets off to a great start but eventually becomes unnecessarily complicated by its own ambitions. The movie is well-made, contains some excellent performances, and certainly feels authentic enough. But in its unremittingly bleak perspective, cynical attitude, and harsh language that’s occasionally difficult to understand, the film occasionally becomes more than a little tough to endure.

Still, as social commentary “Cut Throat City” packs a considerable wallop. Director RZA and company have a real feel for the downside of the American Dream, and the picture has a distinctly documentary feel that’s aided enormously by the gritty photography of cinematographer Brandon Cox. In a way the picture’s a spiritual update of 1931’s “The Public Enemy,” and if the viewer occasionally finds the movie difficult to watch...well, imagine having to live it day after day.

Containing spirited and persuasive performances from Shameik Moore, Keean Johnson, Denzel Whitaker, and Demetrius Shipp Jr. as the four friends, “Cut Throat City” also features contributions from Eiza Gonzalez as the honest cop on their trail and Andrene Ward-Hammond as the grieving mother of the man killed in the robbery. Wesley Snipes, Terrence Howard, Ethan Hawke, and Isaiah Washington also make pivotal appearances in key supporting roles.

Director RZA, the stage name of Robert Fitzgerald Diggs, is a musician, rap artist, record producer, and actor best known as the nominal leader of the hip-hop group Wu-Tang Clan. “Cut Throat City” is RZA’s second filmmaking effort, after the 2012 martial arts picture “The Man with the Iron Fists,” which also featured behind-the-scenes artistic contributions from both Eli Roth and Quentin Tarantino. The music score for “Cut Throat City” was composed and performed by Dhani Harrison and Paul Hicks. Harrison is the son of the late rock guitarist and former Beatle George Harrison.

Written by Paul Cuschieri, “Cut Throat City” is rated R for violence, pervasive language concerns, drug content, some sexual material, and nudity. Needless to say, this movie isn’t recommended for the kiddies.


“The New Mutants” Distributed by 20th Century-Fox Pictures, 94 Minutes, Rated PG-13, Released August 28, 2020:

In “The New Mutants,” teenager Dani Moonstar survives a cataclysm that kills her father and destroys the Native American reservation where she lives. Regaining consciousness confined to a bed in an abandoned hospital, the girl is advised by the facility’s administrator that she’s been identified as a mutant, and must remain at the hospital until she learns to control her unnatural powers, which include preternatural strength.

Eventually Dani is introduced to four other teenagers confined at the hospital, all of whom have supernatural abilities and have been similarly classified as mutants. The five involuntary patients soon begin to suspect that they’re being recruited and trained at the facility to become the next generation of the famed X-Men team of mutant superheroes...and begin to plan an escape from both their captors and a savage mutation called the Demon Bear, which is stalking them.

Sometimes the title says it all. Despite its considerable promise (and $80 million budget), “The New Mutants” becomes a muddled entry in the Marvel Entertainment canon of films, technically the thirteenth installment in the X-Men film series which began in 2000. An uncomfortable hybrid of superhero thriller and horror, the plain intention of the movie is to introduce a new generation of characters to replace departed genre superstars Wolverine, Mystique and company. But corporate mergers and boardroom politics seem to have subdued “The New Mutants” more effectively than any arch-villain could.

Directed by Josh Boone, also the filmmaker behind the hit 2014 romantic tragedy “The Fault in Our Stars,” “The New Mutants” was originally intended to be the first film in a trilogy in 20th Century-Fox’ series of X-Men pictures...and plainly the film’s ending anticipates a sequel. But during the picture’s long, complicated, and troubled production (the picture was filmed during the summer of 2017), X-Men owner 20th Century-Fox was acquired by the Walt Disney Company, returning the X-Men film series to the control of the Disney corporation’s Marvel Entertainment Group.

Executives at the Disney organization, notoriously and at times aggressively protective of their properties, did not like Boone’s vision of the future of their X-Men franchise. After some considerable deliberation, the company decided to not incorporate “The New Mutants” into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, putting an end to plans for a new sequence of pictures. Still, the late X-Men creator Stan Lee’s name appears on “The New Mutants” advertising as an executive producer, as does the name of Lauren Shuler Donner, the producer of the original “X-Men” in 2000.

Finally released to theaters after being moved around several times on the distribution schedule, “The New Mutants” has become the lowest-rated entry in the X-Men series of films, earning an approval rating of only 23% on the Rotten Tomatoes internet review site against an average rating of 46% on Metacritic. Several major publications flatly refused to review “The New Mutants,” as a protest against the Disney Studios’ failure to schedule socially-distanced press screenings or provide digital screening links for the critics in the wake of the continuing Covid-19 pandemic.

Written by Knate Lee and director Josh Boone and featuring performances from Maisie Williams, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Heaton, Blu Hunt, Alice Braga, and Henry Zaga, “The New Mutants” is rated PG-13 for violent content, bloody and disturbing images, and strong language.


The Following Review Contains Spoilers


“Words on Bathroom Walls” Distributed by Roadside Attractions, 111 Minutes, Rated PG-13, Released August 21, 2020:

Imagine having to endure high school again--the insecurities and rivalries, the competition and the heartaches, the emotional angst, and hormonal challenges and adolescent manias, and the unrelenting need to excel and graduate to the next level of adulthood.

Now imagine needing to endure those formidable years again with a psychological imbalance that causes uncontrollable and terrifying spontaneous hallucinations and emotional switching which render mood changes radical, unpredictable, and even sometimes dangerous. And imagine having to conceal that imbalance--and those formidable possibilities--from your classmates.

That’s the world inhabited by 16-year-old Adam Petrazelli in “Words on Bathroom Walls,” a new motion picture adaptation of Julia Walton’s eminently readable 2017 novel for young adults.

Framed as a conversation between young Adam and his therapist (Walton’s novel is framed as entries in Adam’s psychiatric journal), in “Words on Bathroom Walls” Adam Petrazelli has a dilemma: Diagnosed with treatment-resistant paranoid schizophrenia, the boy is often troubled by hallucinations, hears voices, and sees people who aren’t really there. The only activity that gives him peace is cooking, and as a result over the years he’s become something of a gourmet.

But in order to enter a culinary college and pursue his dream of becoming a chef, Adam must first earn a high school diploma. Expelled from his most recent school for reacting violently to a hallucination, Adam’s supportive mother has enrolled him in the pricey--and strict--St. Agatha Academy, a school noted for its exacting academic standards. The catch: The troubled boy must maintain a grade average of 90% or higher, or face expulsion.

When a new experimental medication helps Adam to keep his symptoms at bay and a comely student tutor helps him to achieve both scholastic excellence and a budding romance, the boy experiences for the first time in his life the stirrings of hope, optimism, and even ambition. All he needs to do is maintain his current pace, hope the medication continues to work, and conceal his condition from his classmates...and his new girlfriend.

While Walton’s casual and candid prose somehow manages to be evocative of both J.D. Salinger’s “Catcher in the Rye” and John R. Powers’ wonderful novels about growing up Catholic on the streets of Chicago, her writing style is not easily transferable to the motion picture screen. So screenwriter Nick Naveda and director Thor Freudenthal take a few liberties with the book’s narrative and add a touch of wry and often irreverent humor to a plot which depicts a subject not generally considered a laughing matter.

Lest the viewer misunderstand that paranoid schizophrenia is reduced in “Words on Bathroom Walls” to the level of a punchline, it’s not--it’s the resilience and indomitability of Adam’s unfamiliar sense of humanity that causes the smiles and affectionate laughter in the picture--his normalcy in the face of his neurological disorder.

“Words on Bathroom Walls” is by no means a perfect picture--there are rough spots, questionable leaps of logic, and lapses in the narrative. As compelling as it might be in its subject matter, any movie about teenagers struggling with emotional issues won’t be able to avoid a certain stigma of what was once referred to as a Disease of the Week Drama, a “Read More About It” project, or one of the ABC Afterschool Specials which once populated US television screens. And certainly that’s true here.

But viewers of a certain age might also recall a quality once ascribed by Mary Poppins to the medicinal properties of a spoonful of sugar. Occasionally a movie comes along that’ll so cleverly disguise its therapeutic qualities that you’ll be too entertained while watching it to realize you’ve also been enlightened. “Words on Bathroom Walls” is such a picture, and from that perspective the movie might be compared with both 1999’s “Girl, Interrupted” and “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” from 1977 were in defining neurological and emotional wellness for past generations.

The movie uses at least one slick plot device to simulate in the viewer the experience of the film’s primary character Adam Petrazelli, the young man enduring the effects of paranoid schizophrenia: One peripheral character is presented throughout the picture as an antagonist. Director Thor Freudenthal points to the character’s deception and villainy through furtive glances and whispered conversations half overheard by young Adam.uses cinematic devices, and uses film shorthand to frame the character as unsympathetic.

Only toward the end of the picture is that same character revealed as a protector, a sort of guardian angel, vastly sympathetic to young Adam, and even heroic. It’s a real surprise to the audience...until the viewer realizes how cleverly the narrative’s been presented by the filmmakers--in the audience’s suspicions about that peripheral character’s motivations, the viewer’s just experienced one of the symptoms of paranoia, and schizophrenia. It’s a wonderful moment in the film, and so quickly covered up that some viewers might not realize until later what happened.

Director Freudenthal coaxes from 21-year-old actor Charlie Plummer in the central role of Adam Petrazelli a sensitive and perceptive performance which fits the picture’s subject matter well--Plummer as Adam is by turns dry, alarmed, caustic, mortal, wryly funny, confused, and bewildered. Once among the finalists for the role of Peter Parker and Spider-Man in Marvel’s 2017 cinematic reboot “Spider-Man: Homecoming” and resembling a callow blonde duplicate of late night television comic Jimmy Fallon, Plummer might be familiar to audiences as John Paul Getty III, the character whose abduction is central to Ridley Scott’s “All the Money in the World” in 2017.

Supporting young Plummer, 26-year-old Taylor Russell is alternately intellectually indifferent, brusque, sensitive, and always heartbreakingly lovely as Petrazelli’s too-cool-for-high school classmate prodigy Maya, who harbors a secret or two of her own. Molly Parker is wonderfully empathetic as Adam’s unflaggingly supportive mom, Walton Goggins is ambiguous as stepdad Paul, and character actress Beth Grant is deceptively, perniciously austere as Sister Catherine, the school’s headmistress. AnnaSophia Robb, Devon Bostick, and Lobo Sebastian are also amusing as the three human manifestations of Adam’s schizophrenia.

Andy Garcia in a showcase supporting role as the bemused Father Patrick carries the weight of the movie’s moral authority. The actor’s effortless and instinctive gravity as the agnostic Adam’s spiritual advisor, father confessor, and accidental surrogate for God fits well with the rich and eclectic career the actor has inhabited, from Brian De Palma’s “The Untouchables” in 1987 and Francis Coppola’s “The Godfather Part III” in 1990 to Clint Eastwood’s “The Mule” in 2018...and even the shallow but surprisingly successful musical comedy “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again,” also during the summer of 2018

German-born Thor Freudenthal was also the filmmaker behind “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” in 2010 and “Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters” in 2013, both of which experiences serve him well with his handling of “Words on Bathroom Walls”--”Diary of a Wimpy Kid” in capturing the angst of a modern child enduring educational curriculum and social customs during the early 21st century, and “Percy Jackson” in rendering life’s often surreal and fantastic episodes with casual aplomb. With “Words of Bathroom Walls,” Freudenthal adds another worthy entry to a filmography which seems to grow more and more impressive with each new film.

Whether “Words on Bathroom Walls” is a movie you look to for either information or entertainment, you’ll almost certainly find what you seek. But don’t be too surprised if you find yourself returning later for another viewing, just to enjoy the other. It’s a movie you might also want to remember for another viewing around Valentine’s Day.

“Words on Bathroom Walls” is rated PG-13 for mature thematic content involving mental illness, some sexual references, strong language, and smoking.


“Unhinged” Distributed by Solstice Studios, 93 Minutes, Rated R, Released August 21, 2020:

A beefy, bearded, and bleary-eyed Russell Crowe channels his inner psycho in “Unhinged,” a new urban social horror picture more reminiscent of 1970s exploitation fare like “Halloween” and “Friday the 13th” than Crowe’s glory days in Academy Award-winning pictures such as 2000’s “Gladiator” and “A Beautiful Mind” in 2001.

In “Unhinged,” overwhelmed single professional mom Rachel Hunter while driving her 15-year-old son Kyle to school one morning is fighting rush hour Los Angeles traffic. Frustrated at finding herself stuck in congestion at an intersection, Rachel blows her car’s horn at a pickup truck that fails to move when the traffic light changes from red to green.

Unfortunately, Rachel’s act of urban impatience infuriates the driver of a pickup, who’s already off to a terrible day...having earlier in the morning bludgeoned to death his ex-wife and her new family and burned their well-appointed suburban home to the ground. The driver catches up to Rachel and Kyle at the next traffic snarl and demands an apology. When Rachel refuses, she ignites a lethal case of road rage--the furious driver begins to stalk and terrorize her and Kyle in a campaign to exact revenge for her traffic gaffe by ruining her life...and worse.

Despite evocative and sympathetic performances from New Zealand-based actress Caren Pistorius (“Mortal Engines”) as Rachel and 15-year-old horror movie veteran Gabriel Bateman (“Annabelle,” “Child’s Play”) as Kyle, their characters are little more than cyphers in “Unhinged,” a plot device whose only real contribution to the film is to display the worst ways to respond when encountering a psychopathic and homicidal stalker.

Instead, in “Unhinged” Russell Crowe’s in the driver’s seat most of the way. In a role identified in the closing credits only as “Man,” Crowe’s performance under other circumstances might’ve been called a tour de force, a demonstration of his abilities as a performer. But although Crowe’s compulsively watchable as always, his role is ultimately so uncontrolled that it’s overbearing and repressive, almost a form of audience abuse. From the amount of depth Crowe contributes to his characterization, he might as well have been wearing a gorilla suit...or Jason Voorhees’ hockey mask. The character has no more nuance than the diesel truck in “Duel” or the shark in “Jaws.”

Directed by Derrick Borte from a screenplay by Carl Ellsworth, “Unhinged” was distributed July 16 in Germany, and throughout Europe, Asia, and Latin America on July 31. The picture was moved around the US release schedule several times before its eventual August 21 debut, and has the distinction of being the first new movie distributed to movie theaters in the US since the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. Translation: ”Unhinged” is mostly being dumped into theaters to see if audiences are ready to go back to the movies, a way for Hollywood to stick its toe in the water.

You don’t want to break isolation for this one--it’s just not worth your time, let alone your health. Gamy, unpleasant, disturbing, and more than a little creepy, “Unhinged” is rated R for graphic violence and some adult language.


“The One and Only Ivan” Distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures, 95 Minutes, Rated PG, Streaming on Disney+ August 21, 2020:

The animals are the real stars of “The One and Only Ivan,” the new movie from Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures now playing on the Disney+ streaming service. Featuring Bryan Cranston and voice characterizations from Angelina Jolie, Sam Rockwell and others, the movie blends elements of live action and fantasy to produce a tale of love, friendship, loyalty, and the wonderful feats we can accomplish when we work together and consider the needs of others.

Ivan the gorilla lives a complacent life, a sideshow attraction in a carnival at the financially troubled Big Top Mall along with his friends including the elephant Stella, a chicken named Henrietta, Snickers the poodle, and a stray dog named Bob. But when an mistreated and neglected young elephant named Ruby is acquired by the mall’s owner and placed in their company, the animals band together to adopt her, and work together to turn around the fortunes of the failing mall.

Adapted by “Pitch Perfect 3” screenwriter Mike White from Katherine Alice Applegate’s Newbery Medal-winning children’s novel of the same name, “The One and Only Ivan” departs significantly from the darker and more emotionally complicated themes of the novel. About 65% of Applegate’s plot--and its impact--survive intact in the screen version. Unfortunately, the 35% of the book left offscreen contains the parts that might’ve turned the movie into a Disney Classic.

Still, under the guidance of theater director Thea Sharrock “The One and Only Ivan” captures some of the novel’s spirit of family and caring. Nobody offers genuinely heartwarming family entertainment or makes this sort of movie as well as the Imagineers at the Walt Disney Studios, and an empathetic--and enthusiastic--cast of both live action and voice performers are on hand to remind us all one again of what large and loving hearts we find within ourselves when we dig deeply enough.

Featuring the voices of Sam Rockwell as Ivan, Angeline Jolie (also among the movie’s producers) as the elephant Stella, Danny DeVito as Bob the dog, Chaka Khan as the chicken Henrietta, Helen Mirren as Snickers the poodle, and Brooklynn Prince as the baby elephant Ruby, “The One and Only Ivan” also features live action performances by Bryan Cranston as the circus’ owner, with Ariana Greenblatt and Ramon Rodriguez among his staff at the mall.

Filmed in 2018 at Lakeland, Florida’s Southgate Shopping Center and the nearby Resurrection Catholic Church, “The One and Only Ivan” was scheduled for a wide theatrical release on August 16 by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures, but was instead diverted by the Covid-19 pandemic to the Disney+ streaming service, where it debuted on August 21.

That’s the voice of Phillipa Soo, the actress who played Eliza Hamilton in the original cast of the hit Broadway musical “Hamilton,” as Thelma the parrot. Producer Allison Shearmur tragically died prior to the film’s release, a victim of lung cancer. Theater director and novice filmmaker Thea Sharrock was also the director of the unexpectedly successful 2016 romantic drama “Me Before You.”

“The One and Only Ivan” is rated PG for mild thematic elements.


“Army of Frankensteins” Distributed by Transformer Pictures, 108 Minutes, Not Rated, Released August 02, 2014:

We’ve all seen them--the anthology collections of horror or science fiction movies, ten or so movies you’ve never heard of, all collected together in multi-disc sets and usually found in the discount bins at WalMart or dollar stores.

Mostly the movies on horror anthologies are small independent pictures that were never purchased by major film distribution companies, and maybe released directly to a few theaters in major cities for a week or two before being sold straight to video. And almost invariably they’re movies you might watch once on a sleepless night when there’s absolutely nothing else of interest on cable, and then forget instantly and never think of again.

Presently showing on Comet TV, the Sinclair Broadcasting-owned digital network specializing in obscure science fiction fare and re-broadcasts of defunct television series such as "Stargate SG-1" and "Babylon 5," the 2014 movie “Army of Frankensteins” is a picture that might be right at home on a multi-disc set in a dollar store’s discount bin. Combining elements of horror and science fiction with some unlikely quantum physics and a seasoning of self-aware humor, the picture contains performances by no professional actors and was reportedly produced on a shoestring budget of $65,000.

But guess what? The movie’s actually not half bad.

Set on more or less the present time, in “Army of Frankensteins” Alan Jones, a hapless grocery store employee just rejected by his unfaithful girlfriend and beaten up by a local street gang, seeks refuge in a laboratory occupied by obsessed scientist Tanner Finski and his child genius assistant Igor. Jones quickly finds himself drafted into an unlikely experiment involving both time travel and a reanimated Frankenstein’s monster.

Naturally the experiment backfires, inadvertently importing multiple duplicates of the monster from parallel universes and sending Jones, Igor, and the Frankensteins through an interdimensional portal to 1865 Virginia. Arriving in the past, the group of time-travelling misfits find that their assistance is needed in helping a runaway slave elude her captors...and bringing a conclusion to the American Civil War.

To reveal more of the plot would ruin the sense of flat, jaw-dropping disbelief that’s a big part of the appeal of “Army of Frankensteins.” Written and directed by low budget horror specialist Ryan Bellgardt, the filmmaker behind such later films as 2017’s “Gremlin” (singular--no relation to the 1984 box office hit), and 2018’s “The Jurassic Games,” “Army of Frankensteins” benefits from the conceit of introducing a character with contemporary sensibilities into one of the most politically (and morally) volatile eras in American history...and then uses the unlikely combination to gently satirize both the past and the present.

Wisely, filmmaker Bellgardt never allows the film’s narrative to be easily categorized, or identified with a specific genre--it’s neither fish nor fowl, or anything in between. The movie’s broad comedy is mostly on a level of “Super Trooper 2” and the rudimentary special effects, combining time travel and some fairly gory makeup effects, are never quite persuasive enough to allow the viewer to forget he’s watching a cheap straight-to-video release. But in it’s own dogged refusal to either take itself too seriously or, worse, violate the time/space continuum central to time travel pictures, “Army of Frankensteins” is silly, hip...and even weirdly inspiring.

“Army of Frankensteins” does rely on the viewer’s basic knowledge of the historical timeline of the American Civil War era, particularly the events of its concluding days, but that’s mostly to ensure a better enjoyment of the narrative: While tweaking some of the history of the War Between the States, Bellgardt’s clever script never quite alters the outcome, as Quentin Tarantino might have. You can’t say you’ve everything until you witness a couple of dozen Frankensteins lurching out of the woods to do battle with the Confederate Army. And the movie’s closing gag alone is worth the price of admission.

Filmed in and around Oklahoma City and featuring performances by local non-professional actors Jordan Ferris as Jones, Raychelle McDonald as an escaped slave with feminist values, John Ferguson (known to Oklahoma residents as Count Gregore, the host of TV’s “Nightmare Theater”) as Dr. Finski, Don Taylor as a blase, intellectual Abraham Lincoln, and Eric Gesecus as Frankenstein, “Army of Frankensteins” played at one or two genre-specific horror festivals and earned sporadic release in Japan in 2014 before being released on DVD and Blu-ray in the United States and Canada in September 2015.

“Army of Frankensteins” is not rated by the MPAA but contains some gory effects, brief nudity, and some adult situations.

just one this week

politicidal, I'm very interested to hear what you thought of the Miss Fisher movie. Had you watched the series at all? 

I've watched all three seasons of the TV series Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries a few times. It was one of my favourite Australian-made TV shows. It seemed like we'd been waiting for a movie for ages, and then we finally got it. As seems to often be the case with movie continuations of shows, it felt quite a bit 'different' to the series (which is to be expected, since shows and movies are two different things). The most disappointing aspect of the movie was that characters who played a large role in the show were barely in the movie. Their appearances amounted to little more than cameos. Still, the movie at least had the show's two main leads - Phryne Fisher and Jack Robinson. So that was something, I guess. I'd just hoped for a bit 'more' from the movie, myself. 

I'd like to know what someone who hadn't seen the show thought of the movie, having nothing else to compare it with. I see you rated it a 7/10. I think that's fair. I may have rated it slightly higher, but not much. I'm hoping they might do another one that'll be a bit more 'satisfying' (and feature more of the main characters from the show). Though I'm not sure how likely that'll be. 

My wife is a Miss Fisher fan and I like the series well enough. Gorgeous Blu-rays.

The movie was a bit of a let down but we had to have it. Going global was not a bad idea, plenty of room for expansion, but the Indiana Jones mystical relics turn doesn't fit the mythology as well. New mythology: ok, let's see what you can do. But I don't know if there will be more films.

We've also seen the Ms Fisher's Modern Murder Mysteries series about her niece in the 1960s. They're trying but not really getting there. 4 episodes; is it done?

I wouldn't blame you if I were banned for life from the CFB after the movie week I've had...

Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)



A British boarding school built near a remote fracking site that unleashes subterranean hellhounds, forcing the students to fight for their lives. It's a comedy, but with blood!

I honestly had no idea this movie even existed until I stumbled upon it and decided to put it on. Imagine my delight to discover Nick Frost and Simon Pegg on yet another wacky adventure together...even if they only share one millisecond of screen time. Michael Sheen is brilliant as the headmaster, but really, none of the adults last too long in this story. It's mainly about the students, lead by Asa Butterfield and Finn Cole.

It has a great premise and a wicked sense of humor, it does take far too long to kick off, but when it does, the fun begins. Nick Frost has one great scene that made me genuinely laugh, the rest is just okay, it all could have been better. But, I've seen worse. It's almost Cornetto worthy.

Meatballs (1979)







Meatballs has a huge reputation as being the launching pad of the sex comedies that were everywhere in the 80's. The truth is, it's barely a sex comedy at all, there's no nudity, and it's pretty wholesome when viewed in comparison to what followed.

Nostalgia is not even a nostalgic enough word to describe this movie. I was the same age as those brats at camp back then. Trying to fit in while wearing the short-shorts, popular at the time. It was the tail-end of the disco era and the 80's were only minutes away. It seems pretty carefree within the confines of this movie.

Meatballs is not a super-slapstick movie. There isn't even any spaghetti to be seen. It relies heavily on the comedic smarm of Bill Murray, who deserved to go on to stardom after carrying this entire movie on his back to success. Murray and Ivan Reitman would both go on to greater success because of this low-budget hit that pushed them to greater heights within the Hollywood machine. Have to hand it to Jack Blum as Spaz for basically inventing the movie nerd persona that would be copied for many more years. The movie isn't full of laughs, it seems kinda bland by today's standards perhaps, but it gives you a warm feeling and makes you happy besides. I do appreciate it's message about believing in yourself and just having a good time.

Meatballs Part II (1984)



If you go into this not expecting The Godfather Part II greatness, you'll maybe be pleasantly surprised. It's a different camp with no returning characters whatsoever, and it has space aliens, Pee-Wee Herman and one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's pretty camp, but kinda fun.

I have to admit to having watched this maybe one too many times back in the 80's when it played constantly on cable. So, when I set out to watch all the Meatballs movies, I wasn't really wanting to sit through it again, but it's enjoyable enough. It has real story structure, something the original Meatballs lacked.

Best bit is when Paul Reubens as Albert the bus driver gets so mad at the kids he gets up from the driver's seat to go back and kill them...meanwhile, the bus is still moving!

Meatballs III: Summer Job (1986)



A dead porn actress returns to Earth to help nerdy Rudy lose his virginity. Only in the 80's could this be the actual plot of a non-porno movie.

Patrick Dempsey takes over from Chris Makepeace as Rudy, while Bill Murray's Tripper character is conveniently out of town. The pre-McDreamy Dempsey was in a string of nerdy roles in his youth, this is another one. So far in the Meatballs series, this is the most horndog episode, it's all about sex, in fact, there isn't even a summer camp this time. Sally Kellerman is well cast as a sexpot from Heaven.

It's more typical 80's sex comedy than the previous two entries in the Meatballs saga, and just sometimes funny, mostly forced.

Meatballs 4: To The Rescue (1992)



Corey Feldman tries to duplicate the smarmy charm of Bill Murray from the original movie in the Meatballs quadrilogy, but to no avail. Poor Jack Nance, who was in Eraserhead, Dune and Twin Peaks, lowers himself by appearing in this, he must have been behind on his mortgage or something.

Corey performs a Michael Jackson-esque dance to a very "Black or White" sounding track, you get the sense that this was the exact moment his career caught the bullet train to the D-list. Otherwise, the movie is full of eye-rollingly awful dialogue and scenarios, mostly involving water skiing and the usual "let's save the camp" crap. It's just not funny, and follows the typical summer camp comedy plot so closely that it feels like a remake of another, earlier, better summer camp movie.

Oddballs (1984)



Abysmal Canadian-made attempt to to make another summer camp comedy movie like Meatballs. Only thing is, Meatballs was a Canadian-made summer camp comedy movie, and it was funny and heartfelt, everything this movie is not. On behalf of Canada, I apologize.

This is almost a cartoon, with goofy sound effects in every scene. The closest this comes to being funny is the casting of Foster Brooks, recreating his famous drunk persona, as the camp owner who hates kids.

Mostly it's just twelve year old boys talking about gettin' laid and moronic adults acting (badly) even more dumb than the kids. Not recommended unless you've recently donated your brain to science.

Screwballs (1983)







Another Canadian sex comedy, very similar to Porky's, but without the laughs. Considered a seminal entry in the 80's sex comedy genre, but I could think of a few others more worthy. Somehow this "classic" escaped me back then, only seeing it now for the first time.

Basically, you have five teenage boys who make it their mission to see the school virgin naked. Oh, and her name is Purity Busch. And there's a chronic masturbator named Melvin Jerkovski. This is the level of playing field were on here. I would have probably have loved this more back then, going through puberty. It's not got a lot to offer in the laughter department, it's full of cringey moments.

The title comes from a strip bowling scene in which a character winds up having intercourse with a bowling ball. Now that, I did not see coming! Or did I?

Loose Screws (1985) a.k.a. Screwballs II



A sort of sequel to Screwballs, only in that it was produced by the same people and features some of the same cast in the same roles. Screwballs was set in the 60's though, and this is clearly set in the 80's. Also, no bowling balls were harmed during the making of this film.

Nothing memorable or funny to report. The one laugh came from the horny teacher, whose name was "Mona Lott." It has boobies, but barely anything else to recommend it for. For die hard fans of Screwballs only.

Dead Rising: Watchtower (2015)



Another zombie video game made into a movie. It's not the worse zombie movie out there, there's plenty of those, but it underwhelms a bit, and man, it's long!

Jesse Metcalfe is serviceable as the hero. Virginia Madsen, you have an Oscar nomination, why is your agent putting you in this? Still, she brings this some class. Rob Riggle supplies some funny commentary throughout and Aleks Paunovic is entertaining as someone who wandered in from a Mad Max movie. Loved that it was filmed in Vancouver and barely tries to conceal it, but still claims to be "an American city."

Lost and Found (1979)






Glenda Jackson and George Segal reteam after their big hit, A Touch of Class (which I've never seen). These two clash and gel together nicely here, but this was nowhere as big of a success as their first movie.

Starts off very rom-com-ish with the meet cute scenario of crashing into each other repeatedly at a ski resort. They impulsively get married and then meet one roadblock after another. Not super funny, but extremely watchable, with a nice retro flavor.

Watch for John Candy as a Frenchman, and his fellow SCTV alum, Martin Short, making his movie debut as a smartass college student. Because of these two, I have scoured the universe for this movie, but could never find it. Found it on a Canadian TV network app, along with tons of other long hidden classics. Yay!

Lost & Found (1999)



I've always appreciated David Spade's smug and smarmy persona in movies, so his presence in this helped save it from Mediocrity City. It's just an average rom-com type thing, sprinkled with Spadisms.

Spade and Chris Farley were a comic duo for the ages, so reading that Artie Lange's role was meant for Farley was very bittersweet information to learn. Artie Lange (here, still with his nose intact, before the drugs overwhelmed him) plays Wally, a guy obsessed with David Spade's character of Dylan. He copies his hairstyle and clothes and is just creepy but hilarious...now imagine all that with Farley! This would have slayed!

Anyway, it's pretty okay, helps if you enjoy David Spade, otherwise you'll be less inclined to have a good time.

Ted Bundy (2002)






A lurid and graphic telling of the Ted Bundy story, an attempt to make a horror movie out of it than your standard TV-movie version of the events. If not for the fact that nearly every character's name had been changed and most of the events altered, I would have felt extra icky. I already feel regular icky for having seen this.

It feels kind of cheap, and knowing so much of the true facts made me wonder if the makers of this movie just didn't care to get the facts right, or simply left things out and changed things in an attempt to not offend the real people involved. It feels like exploitation, and yet I watched it in fascination, because Ted Bundy is just that interesting. He created so much horror and felt no remorse, what makes a person like that? Well, you won't find any answers here. This movie is as deep as a puddle. I feel guilty for having watched it, but it does give you the creeps because it depicts a seemingly regular person blending in so well, using his average nice guy persona to lure women to their deaths.



Well, there you have it folks, my movie week that was! Glad I could class up this thread with my exquisite selections! I promise to try harder next week!

Claudius writes, "There is an irony to NEW MUTANTS. The series was created because X-scribe Chris Claremont was protective of his title and rather than allow Marvel to take some characters for a spinoff, he created the spinoff himself. Now the protective Marvel company throws away any continuity connection to the film adaptation."

Man, that's the truth...and 'irony' is precisely the right word.  I don't know that I'd even be bothering with the Marvel Cinematic Universe if I hadn't been drawn into the original "X-Men" in 2000.  As I recall, I just wanted to see a movie that evening, and asked at the box office for a ticket to whichever movie was starting next.  I was so impressed with "X-Men" that I ended up seeing it multiple times, and eventually becoming a fan of the Marvel pictures.

That the opening minutes of "The New Mutants" is somewhat reminiscent of the opening Holocaust scenes of the original "X-Men" goes beyond irony though.  The movie despite its early promise (and its budget) turns out to be...well, nothing special.  And that seems less like irony than something awfully close to betrayal.