Wonder Woman 1984 - stream of consciousness while watching.
Jan 1, 2021 3:44:54 GMT
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Post by damngumby on Jan 1, 2021 3:44:54 GMT
SPOILERS!
CGI competition opening - A new low in lame.
The mall heist action sequence - Greatest American Hero quality awful.
Gal Gadot - insanely beautiful.
Kristen Wiig character - central casting geek loser. Lazy writing.
Really? A magic lantern thingy granting wishes. Who wrote this script? A 12 year old?
Park assault by a typical creepy guy. Seen it a million times. But not quite this bad, so that’s a first.
Holy smoke show - white dress! Those legs! Did I mention Gal Gadot is a knockout?
Kristen Wigg transformation - The mark of a real woman is apparently someone who can confidentially walk in 6” heels.
Pedro Pascal character - Just embarrassing. Please make it stop.
The resurrection of Steve Trevor into someone else’s body. Wait, what?!! What is this, a Quantum Leap rip off? Is anything in this movie going to be original?
Does Wonder Woman know she’s really sleeping with a complete stranger?
Wow, they’re going all in on the wish fantasy thing.
Christ, another recycled wardrobe changing sequence played for laughs.
Steve Trevor has never seen a freakin train? ... and he can fly a jet, just like that?
Invisible plane! - just because.
Pointless flying through fireworks sequence. Why?
Wow, are all random men in this movie of the “hey baby” creep sort?
Dumb and pointless Middle East action sequence. Wait, where did the Wonder Woman costume come from?!
Boring wish stone back-story. Good time to take a leak.
More wishes. Aladdin minus the genie. This is getting nonsensical.
Gal Gadot sure is a hottie!
Ah, looks like the filmmakers are going full stream ahead with the men are just awful theme, throughout this movie. Pandering to the militant feminist audience?
How did they all get in the White House? Boy, making wishes sure does make it all very easy.
Kristen Wiig is now super evil! How do I know? Way too much black eye mascara.
Why is Wonder Woman now weak? Did I miss a wish or something? Do I care?
Oops. No more Steve Trevor. He has become a liability. Wish renounced. Bam!
Wonder Woman just discovered she can fly. How convenient. Guess she doesn’t need that invisible plane anymore.
Wish induced world chaos. Didn’t we see that sort of thing in Kingsman already?
Evil guy laughs maniacally, of course.
Wait. Where the fuck did the gold wing costume come from? Wasn’t it back in her apartment? Why does she need gold wings if she can now fly?
Finally! The god awful idiotic cheetah cgi fight sequence.
Kristen Wiig looks absolutely ridiculous. Is this supposed to be a comedy?
Wish induced omnipotent powers! Except for that one flaw that WW will exploit.
Yawn, Wonder Woman sermonizing. I might shed a tear.
More asshole men, hitting women, humiliating children. Subtle, not.
Good thing everyone can just take back their wishes with no consequences! Movie hits reset button. World back to normal. Cheetah forgotten. Wishes forgotten. Who’s going to clean up this mess?
Wonder Woman runs into the guy she boinked when his body was being hijacked by Steve Trevor. Who thought that was a good idea?
Gal Gadot - schwing!
Linda Carter Cameo.
The end. Thank god!
How do I rate this movie? Well, it gets 7 points just for the Gal Gadot eye candy. Minus one point because she speaks. Minus two points for the creepy Steve Trevor invasion of the body snatchers. Minus one point for the awful cgi action sequences. Plus 1/2 point for the unintended comedy of Cheetah and Maxwell Lord.
3.5
If you have to chose between watching this movie or shaving your ass with a dull razor and squatting in a bowl of gin ... it’s a toss up.
CGI competition opening - A new low in lame.
The mall heist action sequence - Greatest American Hero quality awful.
Gal Gadot - insanely beautiful.
Kristen Wiig character - central casting geek loser. Lazy writing.
Really? A magic lantern thingy granting wishes. Who wrote this script? A 12 year old?
Park assault by a typical creepy guy. Seen it a million times. But not quite this bad, so that’s a first.
Holy smoke show - white dress! Those legs! Did I mention Gal Gadot is a knockout?
Kristen Wigg transformation - The mark of a real woman is apparently someone who can confidentially walk in 6” heels.
Pedro Pascal character - Just embarrassing. Please make it stop.
The resurrection of Steve Trevor into someone else’s body. Wait, what?!! What is this, a Quantum Leap rip off? Is anything in this movie going to be original?
Does Wonder Woman know she’s really sleeping with a complete stranger?
Wow, they’re going all in on the wish fantasy thing.
Christ, another recycled wardrobe changing sequence played for laughs.
Steve Trevor has never seen a freakin train? ... and he can fly a jet, just like that?
Invisible plane! - just because.
Pointless flying through fireworks sequence. Why?
Wow, are all random men in this movie of the “hey baby” creep sort?
Dumb and pointless Middle East action sequence. Wait, where did the Wonder Woman costume come from?!
Boring wish stone back-story. Good time to take a leak.
More wishes. Aladdin minus the genie. This is getting nonsensical.
Gal Gadot sure is a hottie!
Ah, looks like the filmmakers are going full stream ahead with the men are just awful theme, throughout this movie. Pandering to the militant feminist audience?
How did they all get in the White House? Boy, making wishes sure does make it all very easy.
Kristen Wiig is now super evil! How do I know? Way too much black eye mascara.
Why is Wonder Woman now weak? Did I miss a wish or something? Do I care?
Oops. No more Steve Trevor. He has become a liability. Wish renounced. Bam!
Wonder Woman just discovered she can fly. How convenient. Guess she doesn’t need that invisible plane anymore.
Wish induced world chaos. Didn’t we see that sort of thing in Kingsman already?
Evil guy laughs maniacally, of course.
Wait. Where the fuck did the gold wing costume come from? Wasn’t it back in her apartment? Why does she need gold wings if she can now fly?
Finally! The god awful idiotic cheetah cgi fight sequence.
Kristen Wiig looks absolutely ridiculous. Is this supposed to be a comedy?
Wish induced omnipotent powers! Except for that one flaw that WW will exploit.
Yawn, Wonder Woman sermonizing. I might shed a tear.
More asshole men, hitting women, humiliating children. Subtle, not.
Good thing everyone can just take back their wishes with no consequences! Movie hits reset button. World back to normal. Cheetah forgotten. Wishes forgotten. Who’s going to clean up this mess?
Wonder Woman runs into the guy she boinked when his body was being hijacked by Steve Trevor. Who thought that was a good idea?
Gal Gadot - schwing!
Linda Carter Cameo.
The end. Thank god!
How do I rate this movie? Well, it gets 7 points just for the Gal Gadot eye candy. Minus one point because she speaks. Minus two points for the creepy Steve Trevor invasion of the body snatchers. Minus one point for the awful cgi action sequences. Plus 1/2 point for the unintended comedy of Cheetah and Maxwell Lord.
3.5
If you have to chose between watching this movie or shaving your ass with a dull razor and squatting in a bowl of gin ... it’s a toss up.
