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Post by Nora on Jul 18, 2021 21:47:29 GMT
Not depressed but struggling. On multiple levels. Have a minor surgery later this week so I am worried about that. My dad is weaker day by day so thats sad to watch (although I am very happy I got to be in EU for the past 4 months and saw him almost every day).
I accepted a legal job YET AGAIN, simply for money, and its not only not making me happy its making me actively miserable. I told myself “no more lawyering” several years ago but the pandemic made my new career (writing/directing) quite difficult. So here I am once again dreading mondays.
Its harder and harded for me to focus on good things and while I do realize I have many good things in my life I find it more difficult to draw hapiness from just that fact alone.
Life seems to have less and less meaning and I am less and less inclined to share how I really feel with those who are actually around me. Somehow it makes more sense to say these things here than to burden/ worry / surprise those closest to me. But I find myself asking: what if this is what life is going to be like from now on? Is it worth living?
Anybody can relate?
Perhaps therapy or meditation is a good option on how to snap out of it?
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Post by Spitfire926f on Jul 18, 2021 22:01:07 GMT
*Hugs* I'm sorry, Nora. I'm glad you are sharing this with us here. I definitely get it. The biologic medicine is keeping my mom's cancer in check for now, but we both know it's borrowed time. I am terrified of what will happen when the CT or PET scan is bad. I also took a job out of need. I love nursing, but I took a $10/hr pay cut. I am also working on a geriatric unit, and it's more heart wrenching than general adult psych. But I am with my mom, and that is what is important. Although I don't see my kids or my sweetheart as often as I'd like to. Am I lucky? Yes. I know that my life could be so much worse. But there is a definite "meh" feel to it all. This is a good article on that pointless feeling: www.health.com/mind-body/languishingWhat would you like to change most?
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Post by Aj_June on Jul 18, 2021 22:20:01 GMT
Not depressed but struggling. On multiple levels. Have a minor surgery later this week so I am worried about that. My dad is weaker day by day so thats sad to watch (although I am very happy I got to be in EU for the past 4 months and saw him almost every day). I accepted a legal job YET AGAIN, simply for money, and its not only not making me happy its making me actively miserable. I told myself “no more lawyering” several years ago but the pandemic made my new career (writing/directing) quite difficult. So here I am once again dreading mondays. Its harder and harded for me to focus on good things and while I do realize I have many good things in my life I find it more difficult to draw hapiness from just that fact alone. Life seems to have less and less meaning and I am less and less inclined to share how I really feel with those who are actually around me. Somehow it makes more sense to say these things here than to burden/ worry / surprise those closest to me. But I find myself asking: what if this is what life is going to be like from now on? Is it worth living? Anybody can relate? Perhaps therapy or meditation is a good option on how to snap out of it? Hi Nora, I am sorry to know that but this tough time will pass soon. Things were terrible for me a while back but I am relatively better off in terms of quality of life even though not where I want to be. I am not myself a spiritual person but yes you can try meditation. May be hang on in the job you don't like (law related stuff) and may be new opportunities will open in time in the areas you want to work (direction/critic). Just try to keep negativity away. You are a nice person so you deserve well but we always don't get as much as we deserve. But I know that things can change for good and I hope it happens to you soon.
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Post by Nora on Jul 18, 2021 22:20:19 GMT
*Hugs* I'm sorry, Nora. I'm glad you are sharing this with us here. I definitely get it. The biologic medicine is keeping my mom's cancer in check for now, but we both know it's borrowed time. I am terrified of what will happen when the CT or PET scan is bad. I also took a job out of need. I love nursing, but I took a $10/hr pay cut. I am also working on a geriatric unit, and it's more heart wrenching than general adult psych. But I am with my mom, and that is what is important. Although I don't see my kids or my sweetheart as often as I'd like to. Am I lucky? Yes. I know that my life could be so much worse. But there is a definite "meh" feel to it all. This is a good article on that pointless feeling: www.health.com/mind-body/languishingWhat would you like to change most? sorry to hear about your mom. Worrying about loved ones is a hard job. Thanks for the article! It describes what I am feeling pretty well. I am also so tired these days and was thinking if its a side effect of having gone through covid. Who knows. Like all energy is drained from my body for most of the day. Weird feeling. I think part of it is I lack enough physical activity. I used to walk 10 km a day until about 2 months ago when I had to stop for medical reasons and I think my body is unhappy about that. So I will look into ways to raise physical activity right after drs clear me for that after my surgery. What I would like to change the most? Other than going some 20 years back and not making some of the bigger mistakes in my life that I made? I guess not being a lawyer would help me a lot. Its such a tough job, full of drama/ conflicts and with such high stakes and such tight deadlines. Crazy. But right now we simply cant afford for me to quit.... But I am doing my best to be able to go back to my creative work as of 2022 again. Thanks for your support.
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Post by divtal on Jul 18, 2021 22:21:05 GMT
Nora, I'm so sorry that you're going through such a difficult time. And, many of us have shared troubles, here, with each other. We care.
That said, I think that you DO need to reach out to those who are close to you, in your everyday life. They are the core of your support system, in that they have a closer sense of your family, other friends and the community resources that are available to you.
You say that you don't want to "burden/worry/surprise" them. If this is a new situation, for you, I would guess that some have, already, taken notice. Please try to approach one of them, at least for discussion.
I have no training in psychology, or the effects of emotion on the senses. But, there are services near you, with professionals who DO.
Please call a friend, a doctor or a hospital service, to seek help.
Keep in touch.
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Post by Nora on Jul 18, 2021 22:25:45 GMT
Nora, I'm so sorry that you're going through such a difficult time. And, many of us have shared troubles, here, with each other. We care. That said, I think that you DO need to reach out to those who are close to you, in your everyday life. They are the core of your support system, in that they have a closer sense of your family, other friends and the community resources that are available to you. You say that you don't want to "burden/worry/surprise" them. If this is a new situation, for you, I would guess that some have, already, taken notice. Please try to approach one of them, at least for discussion. I have no training in psychology, or the effects of emotion on the senses. But, there are services near you, with professionals who DO. Please call a friend, a doctor or a hospital service, to seek help. Keep in touch. thanks. I know what you mean and I know I should but its such an unusual feeling for me to imagine unloading all of the despair/ darkness onto my loved ones, certainll cannot do that to my parents, thats for sure, and for my friends and my husband its just going to be such a surprise I think, since I am known as the OPTIMIST of the bunch, always able to focus on sometning positive. Partially I may be afraid Ill let them down, and partially Ill lose face. Shouldnt have been watching Sopranos perhaps ![:))](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/cheesy.png) Its easier for me to imagine going to see a therapist so I might do that.
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Post by Spitfire926f on Jul 18, 2021 22:27:56 GMT
*Hugs* I'm sorry, Nora. I'm glad you are sharing this with us here. I definitely get it. The biologic medicine is keeping my mom's cancer in check for now, but we both know it's borrowed time. I am terrified of what will happen when the CT or PET scan is bad. I also took a job out of need. I love nursing, but I took a $10/hr pay cut. I am also working on a geriatric unit, and it's more heart wrenching than general adult psych. But I am with my mom, and that is what is important. Although I don't see my kids or my sweetheart as often as I'd like to. Am I lucky? Yes. I know that my life could be so much worse. But there is a definite "meh" feel to it all. This is a good article on that pointless feeling: www.health.com/mind-body/languishingWhat would you like to change most? sorry to hear about your mom. Worrying about loved ones is a hard job. Thanks for the article! It describes what I am feeling pretty well. I am also so tired these days and was thinking if its a side effect of having gone through covid. Who knows. Like all energy is drained from my body for most of the day. Weird feeling. I think part of it is I lack enough physical activity. I used to walk 10 km a day until about 2 months ago when I had to stop for medical reasons and I think my body is unhappy about that. So I will look into ways to raise physical activity right after drs clear me for that after my surgery. What I would like to change the most? Other than going some 20 years back and not making some of the bigger mistakes in my life that I made? I guess not being a lawyer would help me a lot. Its such a tough job, full of drama/ conflicts and with such high stakes and such tight deadlines. Crazy. But right now we simply cant afford for me to quit.... But I am doing my best to be able to go back to my creative work as of 2022 again. Thanks for your support. Ugh, yeah, I am picking up more hours at work out of necessity. I work for one of the largest psych hospitals in the country run by one of the largest hospital systems. They could pay all of their staff more, yet here I am, turning 8 hour shifts into 12. I hope next year is more satisfying for you work-wise! It really does make a difference having a job you enjoy. I am betting the lack of physical activity is definitely impacting your mood. I hope you can get back to it soon ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2021 4:20:41 GMT
You should reach out to people close to you... I think you'd be surprised how much they care and would want to help you through struggles. I've definitely felt like I was burdening people before if I was going through a rough patch...but if I think about it.. I'd want a friend or family member to feel comfortable coming to me if sth was bothering them so bad, and I wouldnt feel burdened by them. Why would they feel burdened by me? Talking about shit helps..like in person. Have a good cry about it, dont hold back xD
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2021 7:16:21 GMT
I get it. I too, have been demoralized lately. Take as much you time as you possibly can but I do highly suggest talking to those close to you. Thats what theyre there for. Sometimes one can internalize things too much and lose perspective. Go to one of those places where you can beat up an old car with a bat. That may help ![8-)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/cool.png)
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Post by Nora on Jul 19, 2021 8:21:14 GMT
I get it. I too, have been demoralized lately. Take as much you time as you possibly can but I do highly suggest talking to those close to you. Thats what theyre there for. Sometimes one can internalize things too much and lose perspective. Go to one of those places where you can beat up an old car with a bat. That may help ![8-)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/cool.png) i love the idea about smashing an old car ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) thanks.
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Post by Nora on Jul 19, 2021 8:22:55 GMT
You should reach out to people close to you... I think you'd be surprised how much they care and would want to help you through struggles. I've definitely felt like I was burdening people before if I was going through a rough patch...but if I think about it.. I'd want a friend or family member to feel comfortable coming to me if sth was bothering them so bad, and I wouldnt feel burdened by them. Why would they feel burdened by me? Talking about shit helps..like in person. Have a good cry about it, dont hold back xD you know, I actually feel much better already, I think having shared it here really helped. I actually felt some relief right after typing it all out. Interesting how our mind works. Venting really is good sometimes.
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Post by Morgana on Jul 19, 2021 11:44:18 GMT
Hi Nora, sorry to hear you are not doing too well. I think it's a sign of these covid times that so many people feel the same way you are feeling right now. A lot of us find it easier to share how we are feeling with anonymous strangers rather than with those close to us; I think we are afraid of how those around us might judge us, but I wish you would share how you feel with them. After all, they are the ones that might be able to offer you real help; here, we can try our best, but it's not really the same, no matter how well-meaning and heartfelt our wishes are.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2021 14:17:40 GMT
Yeah me. Sometimes I get these bouts of overwhelming fatigue. Inthought maybe I got covid butnthe test came back negative AGAIN...
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Post by Mulder and Scully on Jul 20, 2021 1:25:43 GMT
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Post by alpineflower on Jul 20, 2021 4:07:22 GMT
Nora Life goes in cycles. We have our ups and downs but, fortunately, when we're feeling down it passes I was in a very dark place a couple years ago and I did something to help me come out of it. I had been isolated for too long and was extremely anxious to the point of having trouble walking I was shaking so bad, but with time I came out of it Keeping good thoughts for you
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Post by Nora on Jul 21, 2021 20:47:01 GMT
Yeah me. Sometimes I get these bouts of overwhelming fatigue. Inthought maybe I got covid butnthe test came back negative AGAIN... while i feel bad for u i also feel somewhat “good” about the shared experience. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) hope u feel better soon. my hope is that the right combo of sun rest and play will hell me feel better.
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Post by Nora on Jul 21, 2021 20:48:09 GMT
Nora Life goes in cycles. We have our ups and downs but, fortunately, when we're feeling down it passes I was in a very dark place a couple years ago and I did something to help me come out of it. I had been isolated for too long and was extremely anxious to the point of having trouble walking I was shaking so bad, but with time I came out of it Keeping good thoughts for you you are right and i do remind myself of that. things change, life if full of up and downs. i already fo feel better just having shared here. thank you all.
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Post by Marv on Jul 22, 2021 1:28:02 GMT
*hug*
I have no advice but I know how you feel and it stinks.
*hug*
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2021 16:24:42 GMT
Yeah me. Sometimes I get these bouts of overwhelming fatigue. Inthought maybe I got covid butnthe test came back negative AGAIN... while i feel bad for u i also feel somewhat “good” about the shared experience. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) hope u feel better soon. my hope is that the right combo of sun rest and play will hell me feel better. thinking about trump helps me get through the day.
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Post by Nora on Jul 22, 2021 16:45:41 GMT
while i feel bad for u i also feel somewhat “good” about the shared experience. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) hope u feel better soon. my hope is that the right combo of sun rest and play will hell me feel better. thinking about trump helps me get through the day. how is that? :-D thinkin about him being gone makes u feel better or just thinking about how great he is/ sometning else does the trick?
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