When was the last time you attended a church service?

1980 or 1981.

Gosh, I'm intrigued now, it's been so long.

Probably in 1984-85, after my marriage to another agnostic atheist. My parents kept trying to bring him into the fold, and me, and my mother did an end run around me to get to him at the office to invite him to a choir performance that she was in. He was trying to be a good son-in-law. I laughed myself silly, knowing how this would go, so since he had said yes, I went along for the entertainment value.

OMG, his eyes were wide as saucers. His only previous experience had been a Catholic Mass, which is nothing like an evangelical Southern Baptist service - singing along, hands in the air, 'Praise Jesus' echoing throughout, swaying back and forth. I had to hand it to him, he hung in until the end of the performance. But my mother made a bee line straight to him, and started introducing him to nearly everyone there. He got increasingly uncomfortable. (I was used to the three ring circus and let it roll right off.)

Finally, my mother introduced him to a couple who had had a 'change of life' son. Said son, about seven, was standing right there. My mother said, "This is Donnie, when his mother first started showing symptoms, they thought he was a tumor!"

My husband turned to look at me in total panic and said quietly, "out... now" and I finished up the formalities and got him extricated quickly. I felt really bad, having to laugh so much after we got out of there, but my husband took it well. We ended up at a restaurant with several stiff drinks to start the meal.

Anything after that was a wedding or a funeral. My atheist good friend got me through my father's day-long funeral; she held my hand tightly because I was the only one crying. My mother was singing and praising God, along with everyone else. I missed my Dad. I offered later to get her a t-shirt that said, "I survived a Southern Baptist funeral", but we both live in the buckle of the Bible belt, and she could only have worn it at family gatherings.

My mother died several months ago, and because of pandemic restrictions, "No services planned due to an overabundance of caution in these pandemic times." Whew! Most of her friends are gone, too, and I may just have a brief graveside service when her ashes go in with my Dad. And the longer I wait, the fewer people will be there. Hopefully, it will just be a minister and me. She was visited by a minister the day she died, after I saw her, and so she had comfort from a fellow believer. Hopefully, that put her at ease. I had brought her favorite cross for her to wear. She wasn't verbal, but I hope some of that sank in, and was enough.