Rodney Dangerfield Jokes

All from the same special, with Bill Murray as his shrink:

“I had a great girl once. She was wonderful, beautiful, bright. I loved her, she was great. I left her for my wife and kids.”

“My wife, she’s a beauty. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. She told me she was seeing a psychiatrist, a bartender, and two plumbers.”

“I'm like the rest of the men in my family, they weren’t smart, they were dumb. My Swiss uncle, Gunther Dangerfield, he got a job as a yodeler. He forgot the lyrics.”

“My mother and father got divorced. There was a custody fight over me. And no one showed up.”

“For four years they sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn’t help me at all.”

"I tell ya, when I was a kid I had it rough. Once on my birthday, my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away."

"Siskel and Ebert caught my show. They gave me one finger up."