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Post by staggerstag on May 31, 2017 17:08:29 GMT
Nicked this from JOE.
1 : Ensure the Stamford Bridge pitch sprinkler system is filled with nothing but John Terry's tears and sweat
2 : Have him stuffed, mounted and permanently placed in Roman Abramovich's box
3 : Sacrifice youth team player in John Terry's honour before each home game
4 : Make some more fucking banners about him
5 : Change Kurt Zouma's name to 'John Terry', hire cosmetic surgeons to make him look like him
6 : Retire the #26 shirt
7 : Give the man a statue
8 : Replace main shirt sponsor with John Terry's face
9 : Make fans applaud for 26 minutes of every match
10 : Park some of his old cars in the Stamford Bridge disabled section
I'll go for #7....made of snow, unveiled in August....Sorry, John Boy, but I'm still hung up on your stomach-churningly embarrassing guard of honour substitution.
Feel free to be scathingly sarcastic, wickedly witty and bastardly brutal with your comments and votes, eh.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2017 17:34:05 GMT
Football is renamed John Terry.
-Let's have a game of John Terry.
-Here are tonight's John Terry results.
-My daughter likes tennis but my son prefers playing John Terry.
-I like John Terry but I hate American John Terry.
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Post by staggerstag on May 31, 2017 17:39:53 GMT
Football is renamed John Terry. -Let's have a game of John Terry.
-Here are tonight's John Terry results.
-My daughter likes tennis but my son prefers playing John Terry.
-I like John Terry but I hate American John Terry.
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Post by Carl LaFong on May 31, 2017 18:44:53 GMT
Kill him and preserve him in amber.
Give "him" to the best Chelsea youth player every season.
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Post by staggerstag on May 31, 2017 19:19:36 GMT
Kill him and preserve him in amber. Give "him" to the best Chelsea youth player every season. |
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Post by nutsberryfarm 🏜 on May 31, 2017 19:29:35 GMT
chanting. dancing.
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Post by staggerstag on May 31, 2017 20:11:24 GMT
Fair enough.
OT : Say, nutsberry, I used to enjoy reading the old Food & Drink board on IMDB, some nice people on that board with good posts. I never posted but always got hungry reading. Did you all split your own ways, or are you all still in touch with each other? I don't see many familiar names on the F&D board on here. Shame if you all lost touch. It was a good board.
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Post by nutsberryfarm 🏜 on Jun 1, 2017 1:26:12 GMT
Fair enough.
OT : Say, nutsberry, I used to enjoy reading the old Food & Drink board on IMDB, some nice people on that board with good posts. I never posted but always got hungry reading. Did you all split your own ways, or are you all still in touch with each other? I don't see many familiar names on the F&D board on here. Shame if you all lost touch. It was a good board. it was a good board. most can be found here: s15.zetaboards.com/IMDb_tribute_Gooey/forum/5058670/ |
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Post by WullieFort on Jun 1, 2017 8:22:07 GMT
Get Clint Eastwood to make a movie about his life called "Always Blue"/"Ever Blue" starring Tom Cruise as JT, where the finale sees JT in an England shirt, dragging his bruised and battered body the length of the pitch at Wembley to "man up" one more time for the last-minute corner that gives England a chance of winning the World Cup but as he crosses the halfway line a sudden Hollywood switch sees him in a Chelsea shirt dragging his bruised and bettered body the length of the pitch to take the last minute penalty against Manchester United that will win the Champions League.
A switch back to that corner sees JT heroically diving to get his head to the ball and send it net-bound only to get a boot in the face that sends him and his bruised and (even more) battered body into row Z.
Another switch as he runs up to take the penalty but alas...JT slips at the vital moment and the ball goes sailing harmlessly over the bar and a Chelsea fan is herd yelling "You're a fucking useless tart, Terry"
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Post by sdm3 on Jun 1, 2017 8:29:38 GMT
Replace the Queen's speech every Christmas with a rerun of JT's penalty miss in the 08 Champions League Final. Surefire way to give everyone a happier Christmas.
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Post by staggerstag on Jun 1, 2017 8:49:31 GMT
Ah, thank you for the link. Great to see the discussions again 
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Post by staggerstag on Jun 1, 2017 8:53:27 GMT
Two outstanding individual offerings from Izzy and sdm. Things are really hotting up for JT now. He must be getting a bit emotional with all these heartfelt tributes coming in.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2017 11:38:05 GMT
I was thinking, stick his head on a spike and display it at London Bridge like they used to do in the Olden days. But that was reserved for Traitors, and I don't think JT is quite at that level yet.
I still like the decapitating option though, so let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater here, maybe instead Chelsea could name him in every starting XI next season, and strategically place his corpse in the penalty area or hang it off the crossbar, and the players could take it in turns carrying his head onto the pitch and use it to knock the ball into the back of the net. I'm betting with with the size of his bonce, he'd score 50-60 goals next season from set pieces alone.
In fact the players could actually use all his body parts (except the arms, that would be a foul of course). Would add new meaning to the song "he's here, he's there, he's every fucking where, John Terry, John Terry".
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Post by staggerstag on Jun 1, 2017 12:07:49 GMT
Hurricane Stanley arrives like a force 12 cyclone with a bloody mess that is the most bastardly brutal alternative so far, you have to say. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2017 12:34:14 GMT
Hurricane Stanley arrives like a force 12 cyclone with a bloody mess that is the most bastardly brutal alternative so far, you have to say. Bit much? I don't actually hate John Terry, he's made mistakes, bad mistakes, but who here is without sin? |
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Post by staggerstag on Jun 1, 2017 13:20:23 GMT
Bit much? I don't actually hate John Terry, he's made mistakes, bad mistakes, but who here is without sin? Humour, mate, humour :-) |
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