COCAINE BEAR (2023)

Contrary to popular belief, being a tongue-in-cheek movie doesn't automatically excuse whatever flaws it has. It would be unfair to say COCAINE BEAR is bad for no other reason than because its content is ridiculous, but there are other ways a movie like this can fail. I'm not saying this should be the poster child for purposefully silly movies that don't work. How could it be when the critical consensus has been mostly positive? But that's precisely the problem: If it has been well received, why have so many moviegoers felt the need to defend it online? Because the numbers weren't higher? I'm rolling my eyes so much that I'm wondering if I got high on cocaine by accident. And even if the consensus had been negative, most of the aforementioned moviegoers have used different variations of the same argument: "It is what it promised, so don't expect more". Yes, the standards are different, but there are standards. For the record, I'm on a separate group, as someone who was only mildly entertained by the movie. Another thing that's brought up in discussions like this, especially when it comes to movies about about an animal/monster attack, is that it doesn't matter if the effects don't look convincing, since it's part of the joke. No, that's only true when the effects are noticeable shoddy. Here, the goal is clearly to make the title character and her offspring look real, but they don't. Some scenes would've probably been funny without Mark Mothersbaugh's music score trying to accentuate the comedy. John Guleserian's cinematography is very good. Of course that it's easy to film a naturally beautiful place (in this case, a forest) and make it look good, but it goes beyond that. There are moments where they could've focused the camera on the characters' words and actions, but they prioritized the shot composition. There are also moments where they cut from one shot to another without taking into consideration how the viewer's brain is supposed to process the information. For example, there's a moment where Cocaine Bear starts to walk away from a group, and the movie reveals that a certain individual has arrived, except that they're hundreds of feet away. We get a shot of the individual facing left, and then immediately a shot of Cocaine Bear facing right. In any other movie, this would be a way to communicate that Cocaine Bear got near the individual and they're now facing each other. But no, it's an editing mistake. Just like the lack of establishing shots during the beginning, as each main character is being introduced. Two of the people we meet during this scene are a nurse named Sari and her daughter named Dee Dee. I don't think it's a spoiler to talk about their arc, since it's set up during this scene in such an obvious way. Dee Dee isn't OK with Sari having a new boyfriend, but by the end of the movie, she will be. Does that happen? Yes, except that the guy never appears. I get it: Having a near-death experience puts things into perspective, but this feels so hollow. Why wasn't he involved in the plot? In any capacity?

5/10