Judge Judy

Bailey vs. Keller "Car Set Ablaze" 3/14/19

Denise Bailey was in court suing her daughter's ex-finance, Darren Keller, for deliberately setting her car on fire and Darren was countersuing for an unpaid loan. Denise believed that Keller set her car on fire because she borrowed some money and didn't pay him back. She needed money because her dog fell through a hole (?!). WTF?!!?!? Denise seems to be kind of a lying bitch already, and I can tell she used to party hard in her youth. Drugs and alcohol. Darren, on the other hand, spoke like he was back on the block with his big ol beer belly. Sadly, at this point in the case, it seems like Darren is the most believable one.

Denise gave him a 14 karat ring as collateral, and he claims he sold it for $300. Darren claimed that he delivers appliances for a living and he has gone through 3 phones and has broken them, so he doesn't have the information of when he sold the ring. JJ dismissed his countersuit. Then, JJ asked Denise for proof of Darren setting her car ablaze. Denise handed JJ pictures of her car and JJ reiterated that she needs more proof. Denise then deferred to her witness, Victor, who was a roommate of Darren's who supposedly had a tape of Darren confessing to the arson. Victor Drew claimed to live with Darren from February to March. Victor claimed that he bumped into Denise and she said that her tires had been slashed.

JJ then heard the tape and confusion ensued. I'm not sure where this group is from, but they ALL mumble and talk like they have cotton stuck in their mouths. JJ dismissed the case and sent them all on their way.

Neville vs. Elam "Where is my Rent?"

Tina Neville was in court suing the hell out of Kristy Elam for an unpaid loan and one month's rent. Continuing with "Meth/Alcohol Abusers Day", Krisy NElam looks RODE HARD AND PUT AWAY WET! Bitch looked fuckin through. Meth and alcohol, man. Kristy went into the mechanic and she needed brakes on the back of her car. She ended up borrowing $900 from Tina Neville and then an additional $200 for windshield wipers ($200 for windshield wipers!? They ripped that bitch off). This was all on Tina's credit card. Kristy moved out and then claimed that she paid $800 bucks to Tina. Tina then claimed that Kristy owes $700 on one card and $300 on another card. Kristy also used Tina's credit card to get her dog neutered. Man, Kristy is a needy bitch, dude. She was getting money from Tina as if Tina were her mother. JJ gave Tina Neville a grand and sent them on their way.

Moore vs. Morris "This body's Coming out of the Casket"

Marlena Moore was in court suing Funeral Home director Malcolm Morris for the return of money paid for funeral services and emotional distress. Malcolm also had a countersuit for unpaid fees. Marlena claimed that she didn't know that there was a contract between her and Malcolm, but Malcolm one-upped her and showed JJ the signed contract with Marlena's signature on it. Malcolm seemed to have to his ducks in a row and kept producing paperwork that Marlena didn't pay for the service and why he was suing for services rendered. Marlena, claimed that "Crime Victim Unit" was going to pay for the majority of her deceased son's funeral. Marlena just seemed confused and I honestly felt very sorry for her because she was obviously upset at the loss of her son and I feel very bad for her, but she was suing for no reason. In the end, Malcolm won his countersuit and JJ dismissed Marlena's suit.

Buchanan vs. Moyher "Meth Home Invasion" 3/13/2019

John and Anita Buchanan were in court suing the shit out of neighbor, Wayne Moyher, for emotional distress after Wayne broke into their home. Wayne has been arrested 5 or 6 times all on drug charges. He has been to rehab and rehab has been working for him. He states that he lives with his sober girlfriend. He was running around the block in his underwear and tried to break into his neighbor's house and scared the shit out of their granddaughter. What a junkie ass bitch. He plead guilty to vandalism. He jumped their fence, knocked on their door, and supposedly they let him in. Why would someone let a methed out piece of shit like him in their home? What fuckin reasonable adult would do that, especially with their granddaughter there?!?!

Wayne is just a junkie piece of shit. Anita let JJ know that Wayne caused damage to another residence in addition to theirs. Wayne crashed through their glass door and Wayne claimed that his landlord fixed their door. Anita stated that they own the home, so his landlord didn't fix their door. John produced a receipt that showed he spent money out of pocket to fix the door. Wayne apparently used a flower pots in order to get through the door. This was at 4:15 in the afternoon. Wayne was rolling on meth and was probably freaking out and he kept claiming that he had no idea what the Buchanans were talking about.

Wayne, you were on drugs, you stupid bitch. You were high off meth and trippin balls, dude. You didn't know what the fuck you were doing. You're a fuckin low life piece of shit who decided to attack these poor people who did nothing fucking to you. And they seemed like a nice old couple. Wayne is just a degenerate sack of sorry shit that should have paid attention in health class when they told him that METH IS BAD. Silly fuckin twit.

In the end, JJ awarded the Buchanans $3,000.

Wayne Moyher: here

That's the real story and to be quite frank, Wayne is fuckin lying piece of shit. Drug addicted bitch.

In the words of Nancy Reagan, JUST SAY NO!

Dyer vs. Lick "Musical Mishaps"


Raymond Dyer was in court suing his former friend, David Lick, for unpaid rent on a studio and stealing music rights. Both men had very weird choices in their hairstyles, but I think David topped the charts with his "1980's Mother" hairstyle. My goodness, does he go into public looking like that? And then Raymond was dressed in ALL BLACK LIKE THE OMEN and claimed that he lived in his van and lived in the studio after he kicked David out of it.

David claimed that he titled the song "God Over All" in both his and Raymond's names, though he didn't copyright it in both of their names. Raymond was only the copyright claimant. David Lick looks like a drunk Corey Feldman at times. David Lick just said it is what it is and was willing to sign over the copyright to Raymond Dyer.

That wasn't fine for Raymond. He wanted the money. He started going in to the specifics of how David was just the guitar and that Raymond was on the lyrics. There was a bit of a struggle between JJ and Raymond for a bit until she just halted all bullshit and told him that now with their song, he has half of nothing. Raymond is sitting up in here actin like this song is this HOT NEW FUCKIN CLUB HIT, when it's very much not. Raymond kept battling with JJ and wanted it known that he wrote the lyrics and melody and that Dave was on the guitar. He wants that known. I guess he tried to "remix" it, and stated that he has to get another guitarist to do it.

JJ then prepared the order for a re-arrangement for "God Over All" with a co-copyright for Raymond. Raymond was so happy that he got the rights to the song, or at least, half rights to the song. I may have to search for it.

And I couldn't even find the fuckin song. The most I could find is this

It was such a big hit that you don't want anyone to hear it, huh, Raymond? Silly Gene Wilder lookin bitch.

Hey Joker, nice review. I didn't want to steal your thunder and review episodes that you have already reviewed. I mean, unless you really want me to, then I will do so with your blessing. LOL, you knew me from the IMDB boards. You know I have a very filthy mouth. 

Thanks, man. I DO really want you too. Perhaps you have a different take than I do.

All good. Nothing I have said/heard before. LOL

Joker's Wilde

Saverio vs. Parrish "Step in the name of Death" 3/20/19

Charissa Saverio was in court suing her former friend Timothy Parrish for vet bills because he stepped on her Pomeranian and killed it. Charissa was fuckin HOT and had sexy ass accent and a sexy ass pantsuit. If I were a film director (and I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to be one because I'd make a kick ass Batman movie and I don't even LIKE super hero films outside of Batman and Batman Returns), I'd cast her as Lara Croft, no doubt. She's got the body, the accent, the sly smile, and the sexy, bedroom eyes for it. I bet she had a fat ass and is VERY good in bed.

Charissa claimed that she had to put her dog down shortly before his 13th birthday and produced a large picture of her dog. Tim apparently sent a text to Charissa to and asked her to come to her apartment. This gives us insight into how crazy Charissa is. Tim claimed that he hasn't seen Charissa in over a year, and that Charissa sent him a GIF for Happy New Year. Tim was watching Netflix at his girlfriend's house in Manhattan Beach, CA, and it was 9:30 at night, and he lived in Hollywood. He had to go to the gym anyway, so he would head over to Charissa's place. JJ kinda teases Tim over him visiting another woman so late when he has a girlfriend.

Tim claimed that he walked around the corner and that's when he stepped on the dog. Charissa was LAUGHIN HER ASS OFF, but her dog was dead, but she was laughing about the whole ordeal. JJ chimed in and told her that even she was mourning the dead dog, but Charissa wasn't. This is our second indication that Charissa wasn't quite sane. JJ kept questioning Tim and Charissa let in on the fact that Tim Ubered to her, however, Tim countered and said that he drove himself. Charissa claimed that Tim was drunk. She said that she wanted Tim to leave because he was drunk. She said to Tim that she wanted him to leave and for him to not step on her dog.

JJ then claimed that she has small dogs and utilized the analogy of small babies and bending down and picking them up when there is company. Charissa acted like it was so late and that her dogs were sleeping in baskets, and then acted like a total psycho, so that is when her true colors were exposed. Charissa then said she didn't know Tim was drunk until she let him in, and then tried to play the victim.

Okay, a little education lesson here, Charissa: When somebody has been drinking, you can normally smell the alcohol on them. They reek of it. That is how cops summon someone out a car to perform a DUI test. It is a very distinct smell, it is ALCOHOL by the way. You can tell when someone is drunk because it is all over their breath. It won't be something that you couldn't tell over the phone, either, as they would be slurring their words and talking about dumb shit.

Charissa was just a lying ass twit, and JJ caught her in a lie, and Charissa tried to put all the blame on Tim. JJ then dismissed the case and that's when Charissa went from 8 to 800. She turned and looked at Tim: " Thanks for killing my dog!", she spat as she was getting her court documents in order.

During the hallway interview, Charissa REALLY turned it up and threw ALL the blame on Tim. She claimed that Tim crushed the body of her dog and didn't offer help and there was no empathy. She wanted Tim to apologize, but I'm sure Tim did apologize. He looked like a very ethical guy. She was supposedly given Valium in order to cope and sleep because she "couldn't get the dog's cries out of her face".

I just want to point out that Charissa Saverio is also known as "DJ Rap" here

I'm not sure what kind of music she puts out, but here it is. She needs that valium ALL the time, it seems. Crazy ass fuckin bitch. I think she needs my Puerto Rican meat to go deep inside her and stabilize her ass. Either that, or she needs some Seroquel to put her ass out.

Marsalis vs. Edwards "You Broke it, you Buy it!"

Scott Marsalis was in court suing Patrick Edwards for crashing his brand new mini-bike. Scott invited Patrick to ride with him and Patrick crashed it. These two were actually working together and Patrick was Scott's former supervisor. That would make things VERY awkward around the office. Scott wanted Patrick to ride the old bike, but Patrick wanted to ride the newer one. And Scott asked him if he knew how to ride, as one bike was a "semi-automatic" and the other was an automatic.

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought they were talking about guns. Instead, they were talking about shitty dirt bikes that were probably years old. I think one of them Scott had bought a year ago, but he never gave the age of it.

Scott then took it upon himself to train Patrick on how to ride a mini-bike. He gave him a quick run-down on how to ride, and then rode down a mile to the gas station. Patrick then over throttled the bike and he shot out from the gas station, flying into the air over a hill, and landing on the bike proper.

As an aside, I LOVE JJ in her new ponytail hairdo. Like Gubbio said, it looks like she's trying to take RBG's job. She looks very GRANDMOTHERLY/very SCHOLARLY like she has passed some type of test. She is 76. Apparently, Scott and Patrick are from Atlanta. I can see it. They probably stopped at a Quick Trip aka QT.

Patrick's story was about Scott showing off or some other such nonsense, I wasn't paying attention because I was on a phone call and Patrick and Scott seemed very likeable and believable, however, I don't think the WHOLE second segment of the episode should have been dedicated to that. I found myself fast forwarding through most of it. Patrick was an asshole and Scott just wanted his money. They were two very bland litigants, a HUGE departure from the two other litigants earlier in the episode.

I'm here, friends...was here more often in the beginning (has it really been two years already since IMDB shut the forums down?) but it was rather quiet. SO I check in periodically. 

Sorry!! I've been slackin my ass off. More JJ reviews are coming this weekend!! I promise!