Post by staggerstag on Oct 31, 2017 2:03:18 GMT
If you could wire a tune up to your doorbell and have it play as soon as some trick-or-treaters disturb ye, which would it be? I don't want kids and their soppy parents knocking me up like they do every dad-blamed year around this time. I'm saying get lost. But they never do. No sooner does one crowd get no answer from me so another one turns up. "Twick or Tweat? Twick or Tweat, mister?" I can hear their tinny voices from my lounge and through the curtains can see their doting fun-loving Burberry baseball cap-wearing guardians looking on from the pavement. They eventually move on and, like I say, are almost immediately replaced by another gang of cash/goodie-seeking brats and their delinquent elders.
This year's gonna be different.
I'll first of all wire up a lyrically horrific tune, although the jaunty music may not put them completely off :
I'll start with The Curse of Milhaven and see what their reactions are. It will be on a loop for an hour, beginning at 6pm. No, make that 5pm - the clocks just went back.
If they persist, then next up is a less jolly-sounding number :
Rawhead and Bloodybones , a sinister little ditty that should have them running for the hills, even the paunchy kid addicted to Kit Kats who comes every year without fail.
Failing that, the beggars have really asked for it. At 7pm this comes on and I defy them to set a foot beyond my gate. And if one of them actually does, then I will indeed reward them with a treat for their mettle. Kit Kats at the ready, here comes Paunchy.
Come on, come get yer Kit Kats hee hee and you will have overcome this hellish obstacle and be rewarded with your treat and realize that the agony is the ecstacy.
Come on, I dare ye.
This year's gonna be different.
I'll first of all wire up a lyrically horrific tune, although the jaunty music may not put them completely off :
I'll start with The Curse of Milhaven and see what their reactions are. It will be on a loop for an hour, beginning at 6pm. No, make that 5pm - the clocks just went back.
If they persist, then next up is a less jolly-sounding number :
Rawhead and Bloodybones , a sinister little ditty that should have them running for the hills, even the paunchy kid addicted to Kit Kats who comes every year without fail.
Failing that, the beggars have really asked for it. At 7pm this comes on and I defy them to set a foot beyond my gate. And if one of them actually does, then I will indeed reward them with a treat for their mettle. Kit Kats at the ready, here comes Paunchy.
Come on, come get yer Kit Kats hee hee and you will have overcome this hellish obstacle and be rewarded with your treat and realize that the agony is the ecstacy.
Come on, I dare ye.
