Hell has frozen over!!! (Star Wars fanboys BASH new movie!)

Pinch me.

I NEVER thought I’d live to see this day! A week ago, I predicted on facebook that REGARDLESS of the quality of the new Star Wars movie, fanboys who saw it the opening weekend would rate it “10/10” and tell EVERYONE it is a mind-blowing, super awesome EPIC MASTERPIECE that is the MUST SEE MOVIE OF THE YEAR. Only months later, when the film is available on video and already made billions at the box office, would they discuss the movie objectively and dismiss the fawning praise they heaped on it earlier by saying they had been “blinded by nostalgia”.

This was an easy, rock solid “safe” prediction for me to make. I’m not old enough to have seen the original trilogy on the big screen, but I’ve been seeing Star Wars fanboys overhype their mediocre movies since The Phantom Menace in ’99, and NO Star Wars movie EVER lived up to the fawning praise they heaped on the movie at the time it was in theaters, since they made it sound like the second coming. “Blinded by nostalgia” is a valid excuse the FIRST time around, sure, because it had been sixteen years since anything new Star Wars related and they were so desperate to see new Star Wars that they were brainwashed into thinking Phantom Menace was amazing. Still, that is no excuse for them heaping praise on the followup turd, Attack of the Clones (you could even tell from the “1950s sci-fi B-movie” sounding title that THAT movie was GOING to suck) and falsely claiming it was “much better” than Phantom Menace and that George Lucas had “learned his lesson”. And so on it went with the blindly loyalty to worship and adore anything and everything with the word “Star Wars” in the title… Revenge of the Sith, the Clone Wars, The Force Awakens, Rogue One… you name it, they would eagerly declare the movie is a brilliant masterpiece the moment it got released. LucasFilm could release “Star Wars: The Chewbacca Ball Sack Saga” movie which consisted of two hours of “Chewie” scratching his balls, and Star Wars fans would rate it four stars and tell EVERYONE that Chewie’s Ball Sack is a MUST SEE MOVIE that will BLOW YOU AWAY.

Heck , even AFTER the smoke had cleared and Star Wars fanboys could no longer pretend so-and-so movie is a flawless masterpiece, they’d continue to support it and eagerly fork over money for it in public, even while saying otherwise on the internet (e.g. saying “the prequels don’t count, only the original trilogy is real Star Wars”, but then eagerly beating down the door to see The Phantom Menace on the big screen AGAIN a decade later, when George Lucas created an enhanced “IMAX 3D” version – as if 3D would magically make JarJar Binks watchable or 6 year old Anakin not annoying)

So now, after 30+ years, a Star Wars movie… DOESN’T get fawning praise from the fanboys the INSTANT it’s released to theaters? I am still in SHOCK over this. Over on Rotten Tomatoes, The Last Jedi actually has a 93% “fresh” score from critics, but a pathetic 56% ROTTEN score from “audiences”, giving it LESS positive reception than that turdfest Justice League. My jaw dropped when I discovered this. I could totally buy the opposite reaction (the movie getting 56% from professional critics who don’t care about Disney’s latest shallow cash grab, but 93% from fanboys who believe ANYTHING with the word ‘Star Wars’=AMAZING) If you had told me a month ago there would be a new Star Wars movie on the big screen and Star Wars fans WEREN’T treating it like some beloved sacred cow, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Star Wars has basically lived off fond memories of The Empire Strikes Back for the last 37 years. So it may have taken over 3 decades, but if Star Wars fans are FINALLY willing to look at NEW Star Wars movies OBJECTIVELY instead of blindly supporting them, this is a good sign for humanity. Actually, it’s a GREAT sign. This will begin a new era for Star Wars fandom. You have matured as a fan base and can join other fan bases like Star Trek fans, in looking at new products in your franchise with a careful eye, and demanding quality entertainment. The medieval world of Star Wars fanboys submitting completely to their corporate masters is now over. The Enlightenment of Star Wars fandom has begun! You will soon find that you can go new places, now that your eyes have been opened.
We non-Star Wars fanboys stand ready to support you as you take these first brave steps into this mysterious, unknown world.

WELCOME ABOARD!