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Post by hi224 on Jul 5, 2018 19:38:40 GMT
Is that just a nice way of letting you pretty much down as easy as possible?.
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Post by them1ghtyhumph on Jul 5, 2018 19:49:05 GMT
Is that just a nice way of letting you pretty much down as easy as possible?. Depends on the circumstances
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2018 20:01:35 GMT
Than you laugh at them and say no fucking way.
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Post by hi224 on Jul 5, 2018 20:03:30 GMT
Than you laugh at them and say no fucking way. Reminds me of a Shandling bit.
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Post by Sulla on Jul 5, 2018 21:13:24 GMT
Oh, right. I'm still gonna listen to all your problems and go out and party with you and your new boyfriend. This isn't France.
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Post by amyghost on Jul 5, 2018 21:39:41 GMT
With men it usually is. My attitude is 'thanks, but no thanks'; often enough, they seem to think it's a way of keeping you as a sideline if things don't work out with the next woman. Better to just make a clean break of it, and don't continue to moon around hoping the other person will change their mind and revive the relationship.
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Post by deembastille on Jul 5, 2018 21:41:59 GMT
if he is an ex [or she] then you have already been 'let down'.
in any event: we can still be friends basically means: we'll never speak again.
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Post by Nicko's Nose on Jul 5, 2018 21:44:35 GMT
With men it usually is. My attitude is 'thanks, but no thanks'; often enough, they seem to think it's a way of keeping you as a sideline if things don't work out with the next woman. Why “with men”? Plenty of women do the same exact thing.
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Post by deembastille on Jul 5, 2018 21:52:41 GMT
With men it usually is. My attitude is 'thanks, but no thanks'; often enough, they seem to think it's a way of keeping you as a sideline if things don't work out with the next woman. Why “with men”? Plenty of women do the same exact thing. they may say that but since amyghost is a woman, most likely she is heterosexual so she only has heard this from men.
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Post by amyghost on Jul 5, 2018 21:53:11 GMT
With men it usually is. My attitude is 'thanks, but no thanks'; often enough, they seem to think it's a way of keeping you as a sideline if things don't work out with the next woman. Why “with men”? Plenty of women do the same exact thing. Just giving it from the female POV. I don't at all doubt that many women do the same thing--in fact I almost prefaced my comment by saying that, but figured it would be belaboring the obvious.
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Post by amyghost on Jul 5, 2018 21:53:48 GMT
Why “with men”? Plenty of women do the same exact thing. they may say that but since amyghost is a woman, most likely she is heterosexual so she only has heard this from men. Thanks, that pretty much sums it up.
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Post by deembastille on Jul 5, 2018 21:59:32 GMT
they may say that but since amyghost is a woman, most likely she is heterosexual so she only has heard this from men. Thanks, that pretty much sums it up. no problem, love. i pay attention and i keep my ear to the ground.
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Post by amyghost on Jul 5, 2018 22:00:01 GMT
if he is an ex [or she] then you have already been 'let down'. in any event: we can still be friends basically means: we'll never speak again. Often enough that's how it ends up working out.
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Post by hi224 on Jul 5, 2018 22:15:29 GMT
Why “with men”? Plenty of women do the same exact thing. they may say that but since amyghost is a woman, most likely she is heterosexual so she only has heard this from men. Thats How I interpreted it. She kept reiterating and reassuring me, but wjat makes it worse is she kept me on facebook and her phone. Like shes trying to not come off like the bad guy.
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Post by amyghost on Jul 5, 2018 22:21:03 GMT
they may say that but since amyghost is a woman, most likely she is heterosexual so she only has heard this from men. Thats How I interpreted it. She kept reiterating and reassuring me, but wjat makes it worse is she kept me on facebook and her phone. Like shes trying to not come off like the bad guy. I think it is something of a face-saving gesture, trying to make themselves appear not to be the heavy in the scenario. Not really wanting to say they're rejecting you outright, while essentially doing just that behind a smiley face. Gee, I don't sound the least bitter, do I? LOL!
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Post by deembastille on Jul 5, 2018 22:23:21 GMT
they may say that but since amyghost is a woman, most likely she is heterosexual so she only has heard this from men. Thats How I interpreted it. She kept reiterating and reassuring me, but wjat makes it worse is she kept me on facebook and her phone. Like shes trying to not come off like the bad guy. dude, is this bit about your real life now ex girlfriend? its not about what she is trying not to look like. its about how she knows you would react. dude, i love you and i fear for you but you have been more than moping around on this site quasi using it as a psychiatrists couch for a while, now. her keeping you on facebook means that you have been checking up on her. its time to let her go. i keep my exes on my phone, too. if they ever contact me and leave a shitty message, i have proof. [they never have but you never know] i don't think anyone is the bad guy in a broken relationship. if you do, then you are just not mature or emotionally stable enough to handle an adult relationship. let me put it to you this way: would you rather marry a person who deep down doesn't love you or loves someone else, have kids with this person, then have this person create some unfortunate scandal for your family and children to have to live down? is that fair to anyone, including you? anyone getting out of a relationship before children are involved is being wise and the good guy. its not all about you and your happiness.
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Post by amyghost on Jul 5, 2018 22:30:07 GMT
Definitely. Cutting it clean hurts severely for a time, but the hurt fades. Hanging on just makes it last far past any sane degree and can end up leading to even worse pain down the road. Trust me, I have a very difficult time saying goodbye, but I've learned the hard way that it's frequently the only way to protect yourself emotionally from someone who's likely just being an opportunist where you're concerned.
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Post by hi224 on Jul 5, 2018 22:46:14 GMT
Thats How I interpreted it. She kept reiterating and reassuring me, but wjat makes it worse is she kept me on facebook and her phone. Like shes trying to not come off like the bad guy. dude, is this bit about your real life now ex girlfriend? its not about what she is trying not to look like. its about how she knows you would react. dude, i love you and i fear for you but you have been more than moping around on this site quasi using it as a psychiatrists couch for a while, now. her keeping you on facebook means that you have been checking up on her. its time to let her go. i keep my exes on my phone, too. if they ever contact me and leave a shitty message, i have proof. [they never have but you never know] i don't think anyone is the bad guy in a broken relationship. if you do, then you are just not mature or emotionally stable enough to handle an adult relationship. let me put it to you this way: would you rather marry a person who deep down doesn't love you or loves someone else, have kids with this person, then have this person create some unfortunate scandal for your family and children to have to live down? is that fair to anyone, including you? anyone getting out of a relationship before children are involved is being wise and the good guy. its not all about you and your happiness. Actually a hypothetical scenario and I wasnt rrying to say she was the bad guy.
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Post by Jayman on Jul 5, 2018 23:17:27 GMT
I had an ex that dumped me and really wanted to be my friend. She'd invite me out with her group of friends and all that. Why would I want that? So she can confide in me about other guys she's interested in? No thanks. When it's over, it's over. In most cases anyways
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