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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2018 17:08:31 GMT
In what ways are you personally oppressed and in what ways are you personally privileged?
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Post by someguy on Aug 7, 2018 17:39:36 GMT
I'm oppressed because I'm male, and I'm privileged because I'm male.
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Aug 7, 2018 17:59:36 GMT
I'm oppressed because I'm male, and I'm privileged because I'm male. How are you oppressed because you're male? Explain that.
There's no institution in the world where its not better to be male. Just about every institution that I can think of is still male dominated, even in this #metoo day and age. Its only very recently historically speaking that men have been getting their asses handed to them.
So please explain how being a male oppresses you?
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Post by Aj_June on Aug 7, 2018 18:10:19 GMT
I'm oppressed because I'm male, and I'm privileged because I'm male. How the hell are you oppressed because you're male? Explain that.
There's no institution in the world where its not better to be male. Just about every institution that I cant think of is still male dominated, even in this #metoo day and age. Its only very recently historically speaking that men have been getting their asses handed to them.
So please explain how being a male oppresses you?
May be it is just a satirical comment and not his personal view. |
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Aug 7, 2018 18:17:52 GMT
How are you oppressed because you're male? Explain that.
There's no institution in the world where its not better to be male. Just about every institution that I can think of is still male dominated, even in this #metoo day and age. Its only very recently historically speaking that men have been getting their asses handed to them.
So please explain how being a male oppresses you?
May be it is just a satirical comment and not his personal view. Could be. I suppose I came down too hard. We'll see how he responds, as I am genuinely curious. |
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Post by ant-mac on Aug 7, 2018 18:28:18 GMT
I'm oppressed because I'm male, and I'm privileged because I'm male. How are you oppressed because you're male? Explain that.
There's no institution in the world where its not better to be male. Just about every institution that I can think of is still male dominated, even in this #metoo day and age. Its only very recently historically speaking that men have been getting their asses handed to them.
So please explain how being a male oppresses you?
Family Law Court. |
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Aug 7, 2018 18:40:25 GMT
In what ways are you personally oppressed and in what ways are you personally privileged? As a male I am privileged. Strangely enough I work in a field that has been traditionally female dominated; one of the very few (I wont say what because I don't want to give out info that's too personal on the 'net; you know what I mean).
I am oppressed because of race. However, even there I have a loop hole because in appearance I seem to be of a more privileged race; so I have been privy to a lot "inside" commentary and behavior that I wouldn't have otherwise. I have seen what evil lurks in men's hearts.
In all seriousness though, I've been on both ends of the stick at one point or another in my lifetime. And being born and raised in NYC you see it ALL!
Then there's a big one that not a lot of people talk about... money. When you're on the lower end of that spectrum that's a kind of oppression too, because there are no institutions to help you get out of that situation. In fact most institutions are built to keep you down in that regard because it benefits them.
Do you think credit cards and student loans want you to pay them off? No. They want you to keep paying for as long as possible! Do you think a bank wants to give you a loan so you can start your own business? No. They don't want to take a risk that you wont be able to pay it off. Do you think insurance wants to pay off a claim? No. They want you to pay them, for nothing, for as long as possible, without them ever having to pay out for anything ever. That's their definition of a "good customer".
For the most part we live out our lives, obey the laws, pay out our bills, and go to work at a job that barely keep us afloat. If we're lucky we get to go on a vacation once in a blue moon and enjoy an outing with friends once in a while, and that's that.
But the truth is the system wants more lower end middle class and upper end poor class, than people who can pay off their debts, because it keeps them in business. And the insidious part is it's legal and well buy into it. They got us! A legal system of socially accepted oppression. It's like a casino, once in a long while you win one, but mostly the house wins.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a capitalist by nature, I'd love to be rich. I just wish the system wasn't as rigged as it is.
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Aug 7, 2018 18:45:00 GMT
How are you oppressed because you're male? Explain that.
There's no institution in the world where its not better to be male. Just about every institution that I can think of is still male dominated, even in this #metoo day and age. Its only very recently historically speaking that men have been getting their asses handed to them.
So please explain how being a male oppresses you?
Family Law Court. Ok, that's ONE, Kerr. But lets be honest, most men DONT pay alimony and/or child support and are happy letting the woman take the kids, raise the kids, and have nothing to do with the kids, while they go off doing whatever they do. That's what my biological dad did, and so did a lot of my friends dads. It's a thing.
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Post by ant-mac on Aug 7, 2018 18:49:38 GMT
Ok, that's ONE, Kerr. But lets be honest, most men DONT pay alimony and/or child support and are happy letting the woman take the kids, raise the kids, and have nothing to do with the kids, while they go off doing whatever they do. That's what my biological dad did, and so did a lot of my friends dads. It's a thing.
I did pay alimony. I also pursued her for equal and shared custody.
She later asked me to take over complete custody. I did not pursue her for alimony.
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Aug 7, 2018 18:52:31 GMT
Ok, that's ONE, Kerr. But lets be honest, most men DONT pay alimony and/or child support and are happy letting the woman take the kids, raise the kids, and have nothing to do with the kids, while they go off doing whatever they do. That's what my biological dad did, and so did a lot of my friends dads. It's a thing.
I did pay alimony. I also pursued her for equal and shared custody.
She later asked me to take over complete custody. I did not pursue her for alimony.
Then you are a good man, and I hope your kids appreciate you. Good on you.
However, if I were you, I would have pursued her for child support, just to roll the dice. What's good for the goose and all that...
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Post by ant-mac on Aug 7, 2018 19:00:47 GMT
I did pay alimony. I also pursued her for equal and shared custody.
She later asked me to take over complete custody. I did not pursue her for alimony.
Then you are a good man, and I hope your kids appreciate you. Good on you.
However, if I were you, I would have pursued her for child support, just to roll the dice. What's good for the goose and all that...
I only have one child, as far as I know. 
And as far as I was concerned, she could keep her money. I had what I wanted.
Besides, she had her hands full with a new ex - although he wasn't that at the time - and new children.
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Post by koskiewicz on Aug 7, 2018 19:16:40 GMT
...I am oppressed by taxes...
I am privileged as a result of being a surviving Military veteran from the Vietnam war era ('69,/'71)
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Aug 7, 2018 19:46:27 GMT
Then you are a good man, and I hope your kids appreciate you. Good on you.
However, if I were you, I would have pursued her for child support, just to roll the dice. What's good for the goose and all that...
I only have one child, as far as I know.
And as far as I was concerned, she could keep her money. I had what I wanted.
Besides, she had her hands full with a new ex - although he wasn't that at the time - and new children.
I don't understand people sometimes. You and she divorce, she cant handle the kid when it comes down to it, so she dumps him/her on you, and then she goes off and gets married again and has MORE children? WTF? You sure know who to pick 'em, Kerr...
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Post by ant-mac on Aug 7, 2018 20:03:14 GMT
I only have one child, as far as I know.
And as far as I was concerned, she could keep her money. I had what I wanted.
Besides, she had her hands full with a new ex - although he wasn't that at the time - and new children.
I don't understand people sometimes. You and she divorce, she cant handle the kid when it comes down to it, so she dumps him/her on you, and then she goes off and gets married again and has MORE children? WTF? You sure know who to pick 'em, Kerr...
No divorce. We were in a defacto relationship. And she didn't marry number two either. However, as I haven't seen or spoken to her in three years, I don't know her current marital status, or whether she's still with number three. I never have been, nor do I ever intend to be married.
It may have no bearing on my ending up with complete custody, but according to her, the first time my replacement walked in the door and she introduced him to my son, my son's reply was, "He's not my dad." I must admit that gave me reason to smile.
The fact that she wanted more children was one of the factors that added stress to our situation. I only ever wanted one. She was happy with that arrangement - at first. Shortly before we split, one of her sisters had another child with her new partner. It did not improve our domestic circumstances.
And I was not necessarily intending to make our relationship a permanent arrangement. I took responsibility for the birth control to begin with. However, later on she went on the pill and said she would take responsibility. However, it appears she was slightly forgetful.
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Post by dirtypillows on Aug 7, 2018 21:06:26 GMT
I'm privileged in many ways due to the circumstances of the life I was born into. Middle-class upbringing, white male (my own toy to play with  ), lots of opportunities (e.g., I got to go to Europe when I was in H.S., I got to go to college, got a good degree, etc.) I've never experienced poverty or homelessness or physical violence. I've had good health. So, from that more worldly or external or practical point of view, I have to say that I have been very privileged. But I am not a practical person and the ways I have been personally oppressed ARE more personal and really are on a different kind of level. My parents are both, I think, mentally ill. And it has impacted me in that - and I'll cut to the chase here - it has led me feeling like mine is a confused, boxed-in existence. ( Some people might even say "Look at him, he's his own worst enemy.") Luckily, at the age of 48, I am finally learning ways of turning this around and opening up to my life... even though 48 can feel daunting at times.  And to address another poster's point, I do believe that being male can be oppressive. Absolutely. It is a valid point. When I was a kid, I hated being a guy. It just seemed like harshness was what in store for me. I hated sports. I hated boy boy rough-housing. And I didn't understand why it should be this way (as no eight year old would be able to...) I was terrified that I would grow up and be a man and have to go to battle and kill or be killed, and, worse yet, I was shamed for having these feelings. But this is a valid and legitimate fear that all boys and men should be allowed to have and I know that I was not the only boy who felt this way. Even as a grown man, I am averse to this macho sensibility that's everywhere in our society. And, no, one isn't required to go along with society's attitudes and act in a way that is accepted and approved of, but it sure can make life harder and much, much lonelier. I wanted to be Ethel Mertz, who seemed like she had the coziest, easiest, most fun life imaginable. (Imagine never having to leave the apartment building, which you owned, and every day was pinochle and lunch with the girls...) I've always felt that many women complain too much and do not seem appreciative of what they'e got. What woman wouldn't want a nice, warm, solid man to hold her at the end of the day? (For that matter, what man wouldn't want a nice, warm, solid man to come home to and hold him at the end of his day?) And, I know this isn't everybody's experience, but my dad would have given my mom the world and then some, but she totally rejected him. (And my dad was one warm, sexy guy! And he could be very sweet at times.) And I feel that so many women want to have their cake and eat it, too. Males have traditionally been expected to assume the role of bread winner, the protector, the one who goes off to war and who has to fight, the one who has to be strong in times of adversity, etc., ad infinitum. And that whole thing just repelled me when I was a kid. So, no, it's not just the ladies who've had it hard. Not even close. So, I guess being gay is another way that I am personally privileged, as if I weren't gay, I probably wouldn't have been faced with the dilemna of "What to do? What to do?" and I would have likely fallen in with the big crowd. So, being gay has afforded me an extra level of insight and perceptiveness as well as probably compassion, and it likely has made me stronger in some way. Also, to speak the (sometimes painful) truth (let's be honest), gay men have an aura about them that is exquisite.... |
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Aug 7, 2018 21:39:06 GMT
I don't understand people sometimes. You and she divorce, she cant handle the kid when it comes down to it, so she dumps him/her on you, and then she goes off and gets married again and has MORE children? WTF? You sure know who to pick 'em, Kerr...
No divorce. We were in a defacto relationship. And she didn't marry number two either. However, as I haven't seen or spoken to her in three years, I don't know her current marital status, or whether she's still with number three. I never have been, nor do I ever intend to be married.
It may have no bearing on my ending up with complete custody, but according to her, the first time my replacement walked in the door and she introduced him to my son, my son's reply was, "He's not my dad." I must admit that gave me reason to smile.
The fact that she wanted more children was one of the factors that added stress to our situation. I only ever wanted one. She was happy with that arrangement - at first. Shortly before we split, one of her sisters had another child with her new partner. It did not improve our domestic circumstances.
And I was not necessarily intending to make our relationship a permanent arrangement. I took responsibility for the birth control to begin with. However, later on she went on the pill and said she would take responsibility. However, it appears she was slightly forgetful.
Sounds like you ended up with the what you wanted. More power to you. Peace! |
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Post by ant-mac on Aug 7, 2018 21:41:43 GMT
No divorce. We were in a defacto relationship. And she didn't marry number two either. However, as I haven't seen or spoken to her in three years, I don't know her current marital status, or whether she's still with number three. I never have been, nor do I ever intend to be married.
It may have no bearing on my ending up with complete custody, but according to her, the first time my replacement walked in the door and she introduced him to my son, my son's reply was, "He's not my dad." I must admit that gave me reason to smile.
The fact that she wanted more children was one of the factors that added stress to our situation. I only ever wanted one. She was happy with that arrangement - at first. Shortly before we split, one of her sisters had another child with her new partner. It did not improve our domestic circumstances.
And I was not necessarily intending to make our relationship a permanent arrangement. I took responsibility for the birth control to begin with. However, later on she went on the pill and said she would take responsibility. However, it appears she was slightly forgetful.
Sounds like you ended up with the what you wanted. More power to you. Peace! True.
However, I've also noticed that we often don't know what we want until we've already lost it.
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Harmless elf
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I'm a slick shyster the pest Meister
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Post by Harmless elf on Aug 7, 2018 21:52:52 GMT
I'm oppressed because I'm male, and I'm privileged because I'm male. How are you oppressed because you're male? Explain that.
There's no institution in the world where its not better to be male. Just about every institution that I can think of is still male dominated, even in this #metoo day and age. Its only very recently historically speaking that men have been getting their asses handed to them.
So please explain how being a male oppresses you?
in this internet World though it's probably better to be female especially if you're talking about online dating. also there are some agencies where a woman worker can work one-on-one with a male client but a male worker can't work one-on-one with a female client. another example there are women shelters where a woman could go somewhere with a child but a lot less for men. |
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Aug 7, 2018 22:04:24 GMT
How are you oppressed because you're male? Explain that.
There's no institution in the world where its not better to be male. Just about every institution that I can think of is still male dominated, even in this #metoo day and age. Its only very recently historically speaking that men have been getting their asses handed to them.
So please explain how being a male oppresses you?
in this internet World though it's probably better to be female especially if you're talking about online dating. also there are some agencies where a woman worker can work one-on-one with a male client but a male worker can't work one-on-one with a female client. another example there are women shelters where a woman could go somewhere with a child but a lot less for men. Well in terms of anything where you're trying to attract the opposite sex women always have the upper hand there. Bottom line - we want something they have.
As far as the agencies where a woman worker can work one-on-one with a male client its because women are FAR, FAR, less likely to rape. And the same with the women shelters. That's just a statistical truth. I'm not gonna knock that.
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Harmless elf
Junior Member
I'm a slick shyster the pest Meister
@amiable
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Post by Harmless elf on Aug 7, 2018 22:09:26 GMT
in this internet World though it's probably better to be female especially if you're talking about online dating. also there are some agencies where a woman worker can work one-on-one with a male client but a male worker can't work one-on-one with a female client. another example there are women shelters where a woman could go somewhere with a child but a lot less for men. Well in terms of anything where you're trying to attract the opposite sex women always have the upper hand there. Bottom line - we want something they have.
As far as the agencies where a woman worker can work one-on-one with a male client its because women are FAR, FAR, less likely to rape. And the same with the women shelters. That's just a statistical truth. I'm not gonna knock that.
About the statistic thing, that's true but that is a good example of why someone who is a good guy with good intentions could feel oppressed. Men are paying for the actions of other men. |
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), lots of opportunities (e.g., I got to go to Europe when I was in H.S., I got to go to college, got a good degree, etc.) I've never experienced poverty or homelessness or physical violence. I've had good health. So, from that more worldly or external or practical point of view, I have to say that I have been very privileged.
