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Post by Heretic the Musk Whisperer on Oct 21, 2018 2:27:34 GMT
Remember in Halloween Ressurection how Busta Rhymes got in a kung fu fight with Michael Myers?
Well this film makes that one look like The Shinning.
I purposely watch bad movies. I've seen over 85 of the bottom 100 films on IMDb. This is easily the worst film I've seen in 5 years, and easily the worst Ive ever seen in theaters. I'm ashamed of having sat through all of it.
Okay, first of all, the plot. It starts with two British podcasters who interview Myers in an insane asylum. They pull out a mask that somehow they borrowed form an attorney general and the other inmates start howling like wolves to the moon. I wish I was joking here, but I'm not.
Ok, so Harold Loomis was an integral part of Halloween as a protagonist. So they have to mention him even though Donald Pleasance is dead. Ok. Cool. So theres a new doctor.
This new Doctor is like if you hired a professional Omar Shariff impersonator to do a Loomis impression. Oh, and he starts killing for no reason in the film. I'm not kidding about this.
So after 40 minutes of meaningless scenes that could have been cut from the movie, we finally get to the plot. Want to see how Michael escaped? Too bad. It's not shown. Want to see electro music montages of teenagers at a Halloween dance? Oh goody, because there is like 20 minutes of that.
So the granddaughter of Laurie catches her boyfriend, who is dressed as Bonnie and she is dressed as Clyde (see the gender bender they did), kissing some unnamed girl and leaves the dance. Oh goody, you may say. Surely he will die. Nope. We never see him again the whole film.
Good lord, Laurie is an idiot in this film. So she has 40 years to prepare for this event yet doesnt evem lock the front door. Then she knows Michael is in the house. Unfortunately, despite her preparations, one of the rooms has a bunch of mannequins that look exactly like Michael in it. And guess where he is hiding? You guessed it.
And let's not ignore the fact Michael Myers is literally a 70 year old man in this who can bench press a small house. In fact, the only other character with supernatural strength is Jodie Fosters character Laurie who is like a 65 year old woman.
Oh and the soundtrack sucks ass and half the film is literally out of focus. How does a film with this budget suck so bad at cinematography?
And theres a serial killer on the loose yet only one cop is aware. Meanwhile, the rest of the police force is sitting literally on a dirt road talking about sandwich bread. I'm not joking about this. This is literally what happens.
1/10
Dont even check this one out on TV.
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Post by darkpast on Oct 21, 2018 2:34:33 GMT
i thought it was pretty average, but if you are going to retcon prior films, you have to be better than those. just another cash grab
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Jihad_Cat
Sophomore
@farsideobserver
Posts: 260
Likes: 105
 
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Post by Jihad_Cat on Oct 21, 2018 2:40:16 GMT
Well now,... isn't that a bit harsh? Slashers aren't always realistic.
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Post by Heretic the Musk Whisperer on Oct 21, 2018 2:44:32 GMT
Well now,... isn't that a bit harsh? Slashers aren't always realistic. If you notice, that wasnt one of my criticisms. This is more of a teenage love comedy than a slasher. |
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Jihad_Cat
Sophomore
@farsideobserver
Posts: 260
Likes: 105
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Post by Jihad_Cat on Oct 21, 2018 2:50:42 GMT
Well now,... isn't that a bit harsh? Slashers aren't always realistic. If you notice, that wasnt one of my criticisms. This is more of a teenage love comedy than a slasher. Yeah right. People are getting their heads bashed in and its a "teenage love comedy". They include those club scenes to lighten the tension for the kid viewers. Yes,... kid viewers. There were kids at my screening. I even over heard one person in the theatre ask, "Why are there so many kids in here?" If they go all the way so to speak they might traumatize the kids. Or inspire them for violence.
So in you're opinion what would be a slasher/horror film done right?
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Post by WarrenPeace on Oct 21, 2018 3:04:28 GMT
Remember in Halloween Ressurection how Busta Rhymes got in a kung fu fight with Michael Myers? Well this film makes that one look like The Shinning. I purposely watch bad movies. I've seen over 85 of the bottom 100 films on IMDb. This is easily the worst film I've seen in 5 years, and easily the worst Ive ever seen in theaters. I'm ashamed of having sat through all of it. Okay, first of all, the plot. It starts with two British podcasters who interview Myers in an insane asylum. They pull out a mask that somehow they borrowed form an attorney general and the other inmates start howling like wolves to the moon. I wish I was joking here, but I'm not. Ok, so Harold Loomis was an integral part of Halloween as a protagonist. So they have to mention him even though Donald Pleasance is dead. Ok. Cool. So theres a new doctor. This new Doctor is like if you hired a professional Omar Shariff impersonator to do a Loomis impression. Oh, and he starts killing for no reason in the film. I'm not kidding about this. So after 40 minutes of meaningless scenes that could have been cut from the movie, we finally get to the plot. Want to see how Michael escaped? Too bad. It's not shown. Want to see electro music montages of teenagers at a Halloween dance? Oh goody, because there is like 20 minutes of that. So the granddaughter of Laurie catches her boyfriend, who is dressed as Bonnie and she is dressed as Clyde (see the gender bender they did), kissing some unnamed girl and leaves the dance. Oh goody, you may say. Surely he will die. Nope. We never see him again the whole film. Good lord, Laurie is an idiot in this film. So she has 40 years to prepare for this event yet doesnt evem lock the front door. Then she knows Michael is in the house. Unfortunately, despite her preparations, one of the rooms has a bunch of mannequins that look exactly like Michael in it. And guess where he is hiding? You guessed it. And let's not ignore the fact Michael Myers is literally a 70 year old man in this who can bench press a small house. In fact, the only other character with supernatural strength is Jodie Fosters character Laurie who is like a 65 year old woman. Oh and the soundtrack sucks ass and half the film is literally out of focus. How does a film with this budget suck so bad at cinematography? And theres a serial killer on the loose yet only one cop is aware. Meanwhile, the rest of the police force is sitting literally on a dirt road talking about sandwich bread. I'm not joking about this. This is literally what happens. 1/10 Dont even check this one out on TV. We come from different camps on the Politics Board but this? I love this review. |
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Post by politicidal on Oct 21, 2018 3:19:29 GMT
That's a surprise. I thought it was Jamie Lee Curtis.
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Post by Heretic the Musk Whisperer on Oct 21, 2018 4:11:14 GMT
If you notice, that wasnt one of my criticisms. This is more of a teenage love comedy than a slasher. Yeah right. People are getting their heads bashed in and its a "teenage love comedy". They include those club scenes to lighten the tension for the kid viewers. Yes,... kid viewers. There were kids at my screening. I even over heard one person in the theatre ask, "Why are there so many kids in here?" If they go all the way so to speak they might traumatize the kids. Or inspire them for violence.
So in you're opinion what would be a slasher/horror film done right?
The original Halloween obviously. Or you could go with The Shining which I also mentioned in my review. Heck, even Silent Night, Deadly Night is a masterpiece by comparison. And yes, about 40 minutes of this film is a lame teenage love comedy. Dont know how your screening was, but nobody at mine laughed at the jokes. They did laugh at the horrible horror plot devices though. |
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Post by Heretic the Musk Whisperer on Oct 21, 2018 4:24:45 GMT
Remember in Halloween Ressurection how Busta Rhymes got in a kung fu fight with Michael Myers? Well this film makes that one look like The Shinning. I purposely watch bad movies. I've seen over 85 of the bottom 100 films on IMDb. This is easily the worst film I've seen in 5 years, and easily the worst Ive ever seen in theaters. I'm ashamed of having sat through all of it. Okay, first of all, the plot. It starts with two British podcasters who interview Myers in an insane asylum. They pull out a mask that somehow they borrowed form an attorney general and the other inmates start howling like wolves to the moon. I wish I was joking here, but I'm not. Ok, so Harold Loomis was an integral part of Halloween as a protagonist. So they have to mention him even though Donald Pleasance is dead. Ok. Cool. So theres a new doctor. This new Doctor is like if you hired a professional Omar Shariff impersonator to do a Loomis impression. Oh, and he starts killing for no reason in the film. I'm not kidding about this. So after 40 minutes of meaningless scenes that could have been cut from the movie, we finally get to the plot. Want to see how Michael escaped? Too bad. It's not shown. Want to see electro music montages of teenagers at a Halloween dance? Oh goody, because there is like 20 minutes of that. So the granddaughter of Laurie catches her boyfriend, who is dressed as Bonnie and she is dressed as Clyde (see the gender bender they did), kissing some unnamed girl and leaves the dance. Oh goody, you may say. Surely he will die. Nope. We never see him again the whole film. Good lord, Laurie is an idiot in this film. So she has 40 years to prepare for this event yet doesnt evem lock the front door. Then she knows Michael is in the house. Unfortunately, despite her preparations, one of the rooms has a bunch of mannequins that look exactly like Michael in it. And guess where he is hiding? You guessed it. And let's not ignore the fact Michael Myers is literally a 70 year old man in this who can bench press a small house. In fact, the only other character with supernatural strength is Jodie Fosters character Laurie who is like a 65 year old woman. Oh and the soundtrack sucks ass and half the film is literally out of focus. How does a film with this budget suck so bad at cinematography? And theres a serial killer on the loose yet only one cop is aware. Meanwhile, the rest of the police force is sitting literally on a dirt road talking about sandwich bread. I'm not joking about this. This is literally what happens. 1/10 Dont even check this one out on TV. We come from different camps on the Politics Board but this? I love this review. I honestly dont know who this film was made for or how anyone could enjoy it. Its straight garbage. One dude implied the brains being stomped was a good scene. Oh please. If I painted a jackolatern with flesh paint and filled it with Spaghetti-O's and stomped on it it'd be more convincing than that shot. |
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theshape25
Sophomore
@theshape25
Posts: 877
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Post by theshape25 on Oct 21, 2018 4:26:10 GMT
Who's Harold Loomis? Jodie Foster? Did they hand out doobies at your screening?
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Post by Heretic the Musk Whisperer on Oct 21, 2018 4:30:19 GMT
Who's Harold Loomis? Jodie Foster? Did they hand out doobies at your screening? There ain't enough drugs in the world to make that film enjoyable. |
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theshape25
Sophomore
@theshape25
Posts: 877
Likes: 536
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Post by theshape25 on Oct 21, 2018 4:36:38 GMT
Who's Harold Loomis? Jodie Foster? Did they hand out doobies at your screening? There ain't enough drugs in the world to make that film enjoyable. I was completely sober and I liked it. To each his own. Then again the version I saw had Jamie Lee Curtis in it. Had I seen the version you saw with Jodie Foster I may not have liked it either. |
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Post by Johnny-Come-Lately on Oct 21, 2018 4:37:12 GMT
There's a Omar Sharif doppelganger recreating Donald Pleasance's role? You're not kidding; stay away.
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theshape25
Sophomore
@theshape25
Posts: 877
Likes: 536
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Post by theshape25 on Oct 21, 2018 4:38:55 GMT
There's a Omar Sharif doppelganger recreating Donald Pleasance's role? You're not kidding, stay away. He isn't recreating the Loomis role. He was a student of Loomis and took over when he died. In fact he does a pretty un-Loomis like thing in the movie. |
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Jihad_Cat
Sophomore
@farsideobserver
Posts: 260
Likes: 105
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Post by Jihad_Cat on Oct 21, 2018 4:39:42 GMT
There ain't enough drugs in the world to make that film enjoyable. I was completely sober and I liked it. To each his own. Then again the version I saw had Jamie Lee Curtis in it. Had I seen the version you saw with Jodie Foster I may not have liked it either. Yeah the Jodie Foster one was terrible,... the Jamie Lee Curtis one on the other hand was great. |
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Post by Johnny-Come-Lately on Oct 21, 2018 4:41:21 GMT
There's a Omar Sharif doppelganger recreating Donald Pleasance's role? You're not kidding, stay away. He isn't recreating the Loomis role. He was a student of Loomis and took over when he died. In fact he does a pretty un-Loomis like thing in the movie. I'm just going by the review. It's all over the place. |
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Post by Heretic the Musk Whisperer on Oct 21, 2018 4:44:34 GMT
There's a Omar Sharif doppelganger recreating Donald Pleasance's role? You're not kidding, stay away. He isn't recreating the Loomis role. He was a student of Loomis and took over when he died. In fact he does a pretty un-Loomis like thing in the movie. Uh, he totally tries to copy Loomis'style of speaking and mannerisms...and then for absolutely no reason becomes a killer. So your commentary is invalid. You have in no way made an argument how he is a good character. |
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theshape25
Sophomore
@theshape25
Posts: 877
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Post by theshape25 on Oct 21, 2018 4:46:33 GMT
He isn't recreating the Loomis role. He was a student of Loomis and took over when he died. In fact he does a pretty un-Loomis like thing in the movie. I'm just going by the review. It's all over the place. I'm not going to lie, he was my least favorite part of the movie, but he acted nothing like Loomis. |
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Post by Johnny-Come-Lately on Oct 21, 2018 4:48:46 GMT
I'm just going by the review. It's all over the place. I'm not going to lie, he was my least favorite part of the movie, but he acted nothing like Loomis. I respect that. That's an honest opinion. |
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theshape25
Sophomore
@theshape25
Posts: 877
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Post by theshape25 on Oct 21, 2018 4:49:43 GMT
He isn't recreating the Loomis role. He was a student of Loomis and took over when he died. In fact he does a pretty un-Loomis like thing in the movie. Uh, he totally tries to copy Loomis'style of speaking and mannerisms...and then for absolutely no reason becomes a killer. So your commentary is invalid. You have in no way made an argument how he is a good character. Because I'm not saying he was a good character. He was my least favorite part of the movie. The only thing he had in common with Loomis was that he was Michael's Dr and he spoke with an accent. That's where it ended though. He tried to protect Michael. Loomis wouldn't have done that. |
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