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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2018 16:27:58 GMT
Messenger or email, it's always me who has to start the conversation. Just once I'd like someone to say a quick "hi, how are you?" but nothing. I also wrote letters to two friends and didn't even get an acknowledgment.
Am I really the nonentity that the Say Something Nice thread suggests I am?
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Post by ant-mac on Oct 28, 2018 16:29:20 GMT
Only you can be the judge of that.
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Post by CynicalDreamer2 on Oct 28, 2018 16:33:18 GMT
Messenger or email, it's always me who has to start the conversation. Just once I'd like someone to say a quick "hi, how are you?" but nothing. I also wrote letters to two friends and didn't even get an acknowledgment. Am I really the nonentity that the Say Something Nice thread suggests I am? They’re not your friends. Let them go and make new ones.
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Post by them1ghtyhumph on Oct 28, 2018 17:02:24 GMT
Seems like people don't like you.
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Post by Sandman on Oct 28, 2018 17:22:15 GMT
Messenger or email, it's always me who has to start the conversation. Just once I'd like someone to say a quick "hi, how are you?" but nothing. I also wrote letters to two friends and didn't even get an acknowledgment. Am I really the nonentity that the Say Something Nice thread suggests I am? You seem like a great person and I like your Avatar.
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Post by llanwydd on Oct 28, 2018 17:43:35 GMT
Messenger or email, it's always me who has to start the conversation. Just once I'd like someone to say a quick "hi, how are you?" but nothing. I also wrote letters to two friends and didn't even get an acknowledgment. Am I really the nonentity that the Say Something Nice thread suggests I am? You are okay in my book.
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Post by Utpe on Oct 28, 2018 19:10:50 GMT
I have a friend I've known for 20 years.
In the late '90s, we would talk to each other almost daily. After a certain amount of time, it started becoming weekly then monthly. Now, we just send each other Christmas cards, but I'm usually the one that has to mail it first, otherwise he'll forget.
That's life. He got married, had two kids, and works a pretty demanding job. No time to really shoot the breeze like we did as teenagers.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2018 19:48:56 GMT
That means you have no friends.
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Post by Aj_June on Oct 28, 2018 19:53:02 GMT
I think Utpe answered it well. People's priorities change with time. May be your friends are busy or have other troubles in life that has made them less talkative. Do not think you are not liked because they do not initiate conversations.
As for your presence on the board - I appreciate many of your threads and posts on this board as well as sports board. You are no loser and do not even try to make yourself believe that.
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Post by BATouttaheck on Oct 28, 2018 20:35:07 GMT
Messenger or email, it's always me who has to start the conversation. Just once I'd like someone to say a quick "hi, how are you?" but nothing. I also wrote letters to two friends and didn't even get an acknowledgment. Am I really the nonentity that the Say Something Nice thread suggests I am? translation:Woe is me ! Posting reams of questioning "threads" and insulting other people's posts and opinions has not gotten me the attention I crave so self-pitying call out threads about myself might work !
OP got some positive feedback on the SSNThread but did not bother acknowledging it.
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Post by Nora on Oct 28, 2018 20:49:40 GMT
Messenger or email, it's always me who has to start the conversation. Just once I'd like someone to say a quick "hi, how are you?" but nothing. I also wrote letters to two friends and didn't even get an acknowledgment. Am I really the nonentity that the Say Something Nice thread suggests I am? from my perspective there is a very VERY long leap from "I am not named in the say something nice thread" to "i am a non entity". so if i were you i wouldnt jump all the way to the extreme interpretation. like i said before, for me, it goes back to knowing absolutely nothing about you. Also your nick is very hard for me to remember. How do you pronounce it? or shorten in? so if I apply this experience onto what you are saying happens with your friends. Is there a possibility they also feel like they dont know you or understand you enough? If not (and only you can tell) then I agree that you need new friends. If you have one or two people in your life like that, thats normal I think. I have two people like that in my life, and we are friendly when we see each other and all, but if I dont ask them questions or initiate communication it very rarely happens with the one and practically never with the other one. So i think having some sort of such experience is part of everybodys life at one point or another. but if its everyone, then either they are not close enough to you, or they are not real (meaning good) friends to you as a whole and maybe finding some other people for friendship might benefit you. out of curiosity, how often do you reach out them? and if you were to estimate why they dont reach out to you, what would you say? i mean specifically, not just "they think i am a nonentity/loser. With me and the two friends its> one is somewhat self-centered and doesnt even realize its always me asking him questions and taking interest in his life. he was surprised and denied it when i confronted him. because he is otherwise a good person i trust he truly doesn realize it. also he is not attracted to me at all, so he sees me more like a guy friend so that contributes to it as well. the other friend just simply doesnt like me THAT much. she is friendly when we see each other or if i contact her, but thats as far as it goes. just not enough interest. combined with the fact that i rarely talk about myself with friends i am not super close with, so she may feel like i am somewhat reserved. or only talk to her when i need something from her. i was once told to my HUGEST surprise, that I come across as a reserved or even cold person in personal contact. this was a HUGE surprise to me since I see mysel as a very warm and positive person. But since multiple people shared this with me, i take this as a valid feedback. i think a lot of it can be attributed to the fact i dont hug and kiss people when i see them, and i dont discuss personal problems with people who are not one of my 3 best friends. one of my friends once wanted a hug from me for her Christmas present. like she said that we have known each other for about 10 years and were even roommates for a bit but i never hugged her. Yeah, I didnt know thats something of importance to her. I can be fairly autistic like that. I dread meeting people and having to decide if a handshake or hug is expected, if feel like i often chose wrong. But once she shared with me that she wanted a hug i hugged her. So... what I am trying to say, if there are some people in the group of your friends that you TRULY care about and trust them, ask them why it is the way it is, and say openly you would appreciate if they intitiated contact first sometimes. and then listen to their feedback. if they laugh at you, dont take it seriously or do not want to act on it ever, then yeah, move on from these "friends". Since you seem like external validation of your worth is something you crave (and i get it) here is a suggestion: tell me your first name or initial or pick a favorite animal or something that would somehow feel personal to you, and I will put a reference to it in my show that I am shooting currently if you want. that way there will be a reference to you in something someone created and i think that could make you help stop feeling like nonentity since in a way it will showcase your existence. what do you think?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2018 21:08:54 GMT
Thanks Nora, no need to do anything like that.
I'm contacting people every day to 1-2 per week. I don't think I'm important enough to them for them to think, "I wonder how he is?" We just don't have that connection and it's difficult to fix because most of them are not available to meet IRL.
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Post by ck100 on Oct 28, 2018 21:13:42 GMT
Well I like you and I'd be happy to say hi to you as I'm doing right now.
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Post by BATouttaheck on Oct 28, 2018 21:19:57 GMT
When @nxnwrocks was relatively new I tried to be friends and help with some actual questions and for thanks got spit in my eye... so …. to this sudden "no one likes me, everybody hates me, gonna go out in the garden and eat worms" crapola .
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2018 21:25:13 GMT
When @nxnwrocks was relatively new I tried to be friends and help with some actual questions and for thanks got spit in my eye... so …. to this sudden "no one likes me, everybody hates me, gonna go out in the garden and eat worms" crapola . When you asked about my signature, I said "I'll never tell" - I was joking. Unfortunately, that didn't come across. You've never forgiven me ever since, have you?
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Post by llanwydd on Oct 28, 2018 21:32:26 GMT
Don't worry about that creep. He hardly ever posts anything that doesn't make me want to write back LOOK WHO'S TALKING!!! But I rarely have anything to say to him which is probably best. I would suggest you put him back on ignore. Not that that would fully solve the problem but it would help.
late edit: In case the OP looks in at this thread, I just want to make sure he knows I was talking to him, not about him. I should have used the quote feature.
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Post by BATouttaheck on Oct 28, 2018 21:36:18 GMT
@nxnwrocks You said you didn't know what your signature MEANT. We tried to find out and posted about it on I Need to Know and several people tried to help. You then came in and said in effect "I know but I'm not going to tell " which pretty much made chumps of all of us who had tried to help you. It was after that that you chose to go to the CFB and attempt to bash / diss classic movies … then there was the pointless spamming of an area where we hung out. and noticing your endless questions with no commentary/ feedback from you as OP and now the poor me spoiling of a rather nice coming together by people who don't really know each other all that well... nothing to "forgive" .. just find you a bit of a pita is all and you keep presenting opportunities to say so … As I said a bit more nicely in the "nice thread" … try actually talking to people and not just bitching because no one talks to you after you post your ersatz question and then vanish.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2018 21:41:01 GMT
@nxnwrocks You said you didn't know what your signature MEANT. We tried to find out and posted about it on I Need to Know and several people tried to help. You then came in and said in effect "I know but I'm not going to tell " which pretty much made chumps of all of us who had tried to help you. It was after that that you chose to go to the CFB and attempt to bash / diss classic movies … then there was the pointless spamming of an area where we hung out. and noticing your endless questions with no commentary/ feedback from you as OP and now the poor me spoiling of a rather nice coming together by people who don't really know each other all that well... nothing to "forgive" .. just find you a bit of a pita is all and you keep presenting opportunities to say so … As I said a bit more nicely in the "nice thread" … try actually talking to people and not just bitching because no one talks to you after you post your ersatz question and then vanish. 1. I don't recall saying I don't know what it meant. I was playing along and seeing if anyone would get it, because it was quite obscure. 2. And how many threads or posts have I made in CFB in the past three months or more?
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Post by them1ghtyhumph on Oct 28, 2018 21:57:45 GMT
Seems like people don't like you. The same could be said of you. LOL! What the fuck would you know?
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Post by ant-mac on Oct 28, 2018 21:59:11 GMT
@nxnwrocks You said you didn't know what your signature MEANT. We tried to find out and posted about it on I Need to Know and several people tried to help. You then came in and said in effect "I know but I'm not going to tell " which pretty much made chumps of all of us who had tried to help you. It was after that that you chose to go to the CFB and attempt to bash / diss classic movies … then there was the pointless spamming of an area where we hung out. and noticing your endless questions with no commentary/ feedback from you as OP and now the poor me spoiling of a rather nice coming together by people who don't really know each other all that well... nothing to "forgive" .. just find you a bit of a pita is all and you keep presenting opportunities to say so … As I said a bit more nicely in the "nice thread" … try actually talking to people and not just bitching because no one talks to you after you post your ersatz question and then vanish. Well, now that he's deleted himself, it's going to be even more difficult to converse with him.
However, I'm sure he'll be back.
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