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Post by Stammerhead on Apr 2, 2019 9:10:55 GMT
Would he add a third testament and make it yet another trilogy?
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Post by CoolJGS☺ on Apr 2, 2019 10:52:47 GMT
He would need to make 20 movies and most of them would be rather boring.
A good trilogy could be based on Judges, the period after getting into the Promised Land, but before there was a king.
Or an interesting one could be about the first king Saul and his relationship with David who was destined to replace him, That one may require some rewrites though since they would no doubt age down Saul and his son Jonathan (Probably turn him into a brother of Saul) and focus the fighting. Both he and David were fighting enemy nations at the same time, but Saul was also trying to kill David. Don;t want to confuse the moviegoer.
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Post by Rodney Farber on Apr 2, 2019 14:56:57 GMT
... A good trilogy could be based on Judges, ... Judges 11:30-40 where Jeph'thah offers Jehovah a sacrifice if Jehovah will allow Jeph'thah to win his battle with Am'monites. Jeph'thah wins the battle and goes home. Two months later, Jeph'thah honors his promise and sacrifices his virgin daughter to Jehovah. That Jehovah is one nice guy. At least Jehovah allowed Jeph'thah's daughter to live for two months before Jeph'thah slaughtered her.
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Post by CoolJGS☺ on Apr 2, 2019 15:26:45 GMT
... A good trilogy could be based on Judges, ... Judges 11:30-40 where Jeph'thah offers Jehovah a sacrifice if Jehovah will allow Jeph'thah to win his battle with Am'monites. Jeph'thah wins the battle and goes home. Two months later, Jeph'thah honors his promise and sacrifices his virgin daughter to Jehovah. That Jehovah is one nice guy. At least Jehovah allowed Jeph'thah's daughter to live for two months before Jeph'thah slaughtered her. 1. She isn’t killed 2. She was willing to go In any event wouldn’t you want to see your version in movie form?😊 |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2019 15:51:57 GMT
my butt's gonna need full-on CPR for that....it fell asleep during each of the LOTRs movies as it is.....
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Post by politicidal on Apr 3, 2019 20:12:34 GMT
I think he'd make 22 trilogies.
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Post by Rodney Farber on Apr 3, 2019 21:48:03 GMT
1. She isn’t killed 2. She was willing to go In any event wouldn’t you want to see your version in movie form?😊 You twist facts until they congeal into your predefined definition of "The Truth". Do you still consider Jehovah to be a kind and loving God? Jeph'thah's daughter spent two months weeping over her virginity, knowing she was going to die. She was burned to death. All by the desires of Jehovah (Remember, Jehovah is all powerful and it was Jehovah who selected the daughter to be the one that Jeph'thah would burn as an offering.)
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Post by goz on Apr 3, 2019 22:13:24 GMT
I just came back from New Zealand and the scenery is pretty 'heavenly'!
Shame about the crappy stories!
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Post by drystyx on Apr 4, 2019 1:01:50 GMT
When Noah loads the unicorn into the Ark, and claims it counts as two cause it's pregnant, Shem says:
"That still only counts as one!"
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Post by drystyx on Apr 4, 2019 1:05:13 GMT
1. She isn’t killed 2. She was willing to go In any event wouldn’t you want to see your version in movie form?😊 You twist facts until they congeal into your predefined definition of "The Truth". Do you still consider Jehovah to be a kind and loving God? Jeph'thah's daughter spent two months weeping over her virginity, knowing she was going to die. She was burned to death. All by the desires of Jehovah (Remember, Jehovah is all powerful and it was Jehovah who selected the daughter to be the one that Jeph'thah would burn as an offering.) Jephtah's daughter wasn't burned, wasn't killed. She was sacrificed as a virgin to be in service to the Levites. There's no other reason to spend all that time "bewailing her virginity". It was illegal in the law of Moses to kill people in sacrifice. This was once much more common knowledge. It's only been tainted by the "gossip mill types" who have to make everything more destructive. The entire sadness of the situation was in Jephthah knowing he would never have any descendants, as his daughter would not have children, and his line would end. You've just proven my point by insisting on your "predefined definition". Ironically, I doubt you will even have the honesty or intellect to realize this, but it's right there in your own words.
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Post by progressiveelement on Apr 4, 2019 12:02:33 GMT
I KICK ARSE FOR THE LORD!!!
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Post by Rodney Farber on Apr 6, 2019 18:26:56 GMT
Jephtah's daughter wasn't burned, wasn't killed. ... To quote from Judges 11:31 and 39 How does the daughter become a burnt offering without being burned to death?
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Post by CoolJGS☺ on Apr 6, 2019 18:48:46 GMT
Jephtah's daughter wasn't burned, wasn't killed. ... To quote from Judges 11:31 and 39 How does the daughter become a burnt offering without being burned to death? Lol at not know what a simile is. Show the verses that tell how a human is sacrificed under Jewish Law. 
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Post by mikef6 on Apr 6, 2019 20:47:05 GMT
Another great story from Judges. How about a little Grrrrrrl Power. Deborah The Prophetess and Jael are two women’s roles that would be perfect for Noomi Rapace and Charlize Theron. The story so far: Israel is conquered by Jabin, the king of Canaan so God raises up Deborah – the only female judge in the whole damn book. Deborah leads the troops into battle with Canaan [insert 30 minute battle scene here] so Israel wins big. The losing Canaanite general flees to a family tent nearby. Jael, the woman of the tent, welcomes him and tells him to just relax. He falls asleep. Let the King James Version tell you what happens next: Jael "took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground" (4:21). GIRLS WIN! Oscar material if I ever heard it. In this painting, Jael looks like Angelina Jolie  |
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Post by Rodney Farber on Apr 7, 2019 12:58:04 GMT
To quote from Judges 11:31 and 39 How does the daughter become a burnt offering without being burned to death? Lol at not know what a simile is. Show the verses that tell how a human is sacrificed under Jewish Law. " LOL?" Is that your retort when you're trying to blow smoke up my butt? A simile is a comparison using "like" or "as" such as, " Winston tastes good as a cigarette should", or " Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives". I fail to see any comparison in Judges 11. How is this story a simile? So I googled "human sacrifice bible" and I came upon www.womeninthebible.net/bible-archaeology/human-sacrifice/wherein I find the following: If Jehovah is all powerful, then it was Jehovah that decided that Jeph'thah's daughter would be the sacrifice. Why didn't Jehovah select some drunken bum to sleep on Jeph'thah's porch? From this, I've narrowed it down to one of the following. (A) Jehovah is an evil control freak who kills many throughout the Bible or (B) The book is a collection of fictional anecdotes assembled by many people over time. (C) Those that say the Bible is the truth merely cherry-pick passages to support their own beliefs.
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Post by CoolJGS☺ on Apr 7, 2019 13:04:18 GMT
Lol at not know what a simile is. Show the verses that tell how a human is sacrificed under Jewish Law. " LOL?" Is that your retort when you're trying to blow smoke up my butt? A simile is a comparison using "like" or "as" such as, " Winston tastes good as a cigarette should", or " Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives". I fail to see any comparison in Judges 11. How is this story a simile? So I googled "human sacrifice bible" and I came upon www.womeninthebible.net/bible-archaeology/human-sacrifice/wherein I find the following: If Jehovah is all powerful, then it was Jehovah that decided that Jeph'thah's daughter would be the sacrifice. Why didn't Jehovah select some drunken bum to sleep on Jeph'thah's porch? From this, I've narrowed it down to one of the following. (A) Jehovah is an evil control freak who kills many throughout the Bible or (B) The book is a collection of fictional anecdotes assembled by many people over time. (C) Those that say the Bible is the truth merely cherry-pick passages to support their own beliefs.
I said more than lol but lol is the first thing that comes to mind when someone says something baseless and stupid....& your source is LOL. I'll give you some tips. Look in the Bible for, in the particularly boring parts that describe sacrifice rituals, and find just one verse that explains anything regarding a human sacrifice. A secondary options since you don;t like reading the Bible is to check any Jewish source you can find and see if it was part of Jewish tradition. Can you do that and get back to me? Your stupidity aside, that would be a great twist for a movie version.
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Post by phludowin on Apr 7, 2019 14:08:10 GMT
Exodus might work as a trilogy as well.
Part 1: Rise of a Rebel; with enslavement of the Israelites, Moses' childhood, ending with Moses joining the Israelites.
Part 2: The Ten Plagues; about the ten plagues, ending with the Israelites leaving through the Red Sea.
Part 3: Arrival to Canaan; about the 10 commandments, the Golden Calf, and finally the arrival to the Shire Canaan.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2019 14:23:55 GMT
I dunno. But LDS say the Book of Mormon is the third part of the trilogy. Great porno could be made from Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.
Some Hebrew whore and her dark-skinned Egyptian lovers were hung like donkeys. In some translations it says "issues like horses". I always thought "Issue Like Horses" would make a great title. Balls like donkeys? Man alive, that would be a bugger getting trousers to fit so it would. 
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Post by Stammerhead on Apr 7, 2019 20:21:49 GMT
I dunno. But LDS say the Book of Mormon is the third part of the trilogy. Great porno could be made from Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.
Some Hebrew whore and her dark-skinned Egyptian lovers were hung like donkeys. In some translations it says "issues like horses". I always thought "Issue Like Horses" would make a great title. Does it have any big battles?
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Post by drystyx on Apr 7, 2019 20:52:47 GMT
He could easily explain why Moses took so long on the mountain. He was helping a little pint size guy being attacked by a cave troll.
Boaz would journey with several others to Ruth's country, and Ruth would fall in love with Boaz, even though Boaz was dwarfish and Ruth was elfish.
Noah would find a female Kong to put on the Ark, but when the Ark lands, the male Kong wades to an island, and the female stays there, and the waters deepen again and they're separate.
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