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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Mar 11, 2022 23:28:38 GMT
My parents? They don't know what's going on.
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Post by masterofallgoons on Mar 12, 2022 0:12:56 GMT
I really don't wear the kind of shoes that have to be cobbled.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Mar 12, 2022 22:05:05 GMT
GEORGE: Alright, I tell you what. You look like nice people, I'm gonna help you out. You want a beautiful name? Soda.
KEN: What?
GEORGE: Soda. S-O-D-A. Soda.
CARRIE: I don't know, it sounds a little strange.
GEORGE: All names sound strange the first time you hear 'em. What, you’re telling me people loved the name ‘Blanche’ the first time they heard it?
KEN: Yeah, but uh... Soda?
GEORGE: Yeah, that's right. It's working.
CARRIE: We'll put it on the list.
GEORGE: I solve problems. That's just what I do.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2022 2:38:24 GMT
How many quotes can be left? Eh, whatever. He took it out. Maybe it needed some air.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2022 2:39:45 GMT
Elaine: Hey guess what, this window doesn't work. Jerry: I hate rental cars! Nothing ever works. The windows don't work, the radio doesn't work, and it smells like a cheap hooker. Or is that you? Elaine: Gimme ten bucks and find out! Actually, I think it was 20 bucks.  And she could have asked for a pencil.
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Post by theauxphou on Mar 13, 2022 9:25:37 GMT
RED SHIRT! RED SHIRT!!
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Post by NJtoTX on Mar 13, 2022 13:32:38 GMT
I stay up late at night, cause I'm Night Guy. Night Guy wants to stay up late. 'What about getting up after five hours sleep?' Oh, that's Morning Guy's problem. That's not my problem, I'm Night Guy. I stay up as late as I want. So you get up in the morning, your alarm, you're exhausted, groggy, oooh I hate that Night Guy! See, Night Guy always screws Morning Guy. There's nothing Morning Guy can do. The only thing Morning Guy can do is try and oversleep often enough so that Day Guy loses his job and Night Guy has no money to go out anymore.
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Post by masterofallgoons on Mar 13, 2022 14:05:31 GMT
Thats what you had to tell me? Your father wears his sneakers in the pool?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2022 18:21:31 GMT
 So many great lines! It's always fun to stop off and read a few. "But Georgie, what about the Jello?" "I'll take it in my room." |
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Post by Rufus-T on Mar 13, 2022 19:10:56 GMT
Hello, and welcome to your worst nightmare. I know your in there, Cosmo Kramer, Apartment 5B. You're in big trouble, Now. You've been stealing my business. If you'd like to do this the easy way, open the door, Now. Or, please select the number of seconds, you'd like to wait, before I break this door down. Please select Now.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Mar 15, 2022 18:54:42 GMT
NEWMAN: ...But I have made a decision. We will cut the bike down the middle, and give half to each of you.
ELAINE: What?! This is your solution?! To ruin the bike?! Alright, fine. Fine. Go ahead. Cut the stupid thing in half.
KRAMER: No, no, no. Give it to her. I'd rather it belonged to another than see it destroyed. Newman, give it to her, I beg you.
ELAINE: Yeah, yeah, y-yeah.
NEWMAN: Not so fast, Elaine! Only the bike's true owner would rather give it away than see it come to harm. Kramer, the bike is yours!
ELAINE: What?!
KRAMER: Sweet justice. Newman, you are wise.
ELAINE: But this isn't fair! Lookit, my neck is still hurting me, and now you have the bike?!
KRAMER: Well, tell it to the judge, honey. I'm going for a ride.
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Post by masterofallgoons on Mar 15, 2022 19:14:09 GMT
Alright, I know you're in there. I know you can hear me. You win, OK? You win. I can't do it anymore. What do you want from me, an apology? Alright. I'm sorry. There I said it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I see now how we made you feel when we made you sit home waiting. I don't know why we do it, I guess we just kind of enjoy taking advantage of people. All that's gonna change. From now on no more 9 to 12 no more 1 to 5, we're gonna have appointments. 11 o'clock is gonna mean 11 o'clock and if we can't make we'll call ya, tell ya why. For God's sake if a doctor can do it why can't we?
Anyway, that's it...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2022 16:13:42 GMT
Alright, I know you're in there. I know you can hear me. You win, OK? You win. I can't do it anymore. What do you want from me, an apology? Alright. I'm sorry. There I said it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I see now how we made you feel when we made you sit home waiting. I don't know why we do it, I guess we just kind of enjoy taking advantage of people. All that's gonna change. From now on no more 9 to 12 no more 1 to 5, we're gonna have appointments. 11 o'clock is gonna mean 11 o'clock and if we can't make we'll call ya, tell ya why. For God's sake if a doctor can do it why can't we? Anyway, that's it... I think about this episode every time I have to stay home and wait for someone to show up, LOL
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Mar 21, 2022 15:02:46 GMT
Yes I'd like to speak to Marisa Tomei, please?... Marisa , Hi it's George Costanza.. I'm the short, funny, quirky bald man you met a little while ago, heh! yeah I was just calling 'cos I wanted you to know that I'm not engaged anymore......well huh, She died....Toxic glue from the wedding invitations.....well we were expecting about two hundred people. Yeah... Anyway.. hum I got the funeral tomorrow but huh.. my weekend is pretty wide open and I was wondering... (dial tone interrupts George)..... Hello...Hello..
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Mar 24, 2022 17:39:29 GMT
PHARMACIST: Can I help you?
ELAINE: Yeah, do you have any Today sponges? I know they're off the market, but...
PHARMACIST: Actually, we have a case left.
ELAINE: A case! A case of sponges? I mean, uh...a case. Huh. Uh...how many come in a case?
PHARMACIST: Sixty.
ELAINE: Sixty?! Uh...well, I'll take three.
PHARMACIST: Three.
ELAINE: Make it ten.
PHARMACIST: Ten?
ELAINE: Twenty sponges should be plenty.
PHARMACIST: Did you say twenty?
ELAINE: Yeah, twenty-five sponges is just fine.
PHARMACIST: Right. So, you're set with twenty-five.
ELAINE: Yeah. Just give me the whole case and I'll be on my way.
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Post by masterofallgoons on Mar 26, 2022 14:54:12 GMT
Never mind who I am. I know who I am. Do you know who you are?
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Post by HumanFundRecipient on Mar 26, 2022 23:14:53 GMT
GEORGE: Hey, I just remembered, my parents really wanna have you guys over for dinner before you leave town. What about tonight?
HELEN: Tonight?
GEORGE: Yeah, they're making paella.
HELEN: Uh oh I don't think we think we can make it tonight, we have plans.
JERRY: What plans?
HELEN: We have plans.
JERRY: Where'd you get plans?
HELEN: We have plans.
GEORGE: Well um, what about tomorrow night?
HELEN: Maybe.
GEORGE: Ok uh, I guess I'll tell them that.
MORTY: Hey give 'em our best though.
GEORGE: Yeah.
JERRY: I'll call you later.
GEORGE: Yeah.
JERRY: So what plans do you have?
MORTY: None.
JERRY: So how come you're not going over there for dinner?
HELEN: Jerry we don't care much for the Costanzas'.
MORTY: We can't stand them.
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Post by masterofallgoons on Mar 27, 2022 1:54:56 GMT
Well those aren't for New Year's. Those are my everyday balloons.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Mar 28, 2022 20:51:52 GMT
Anna: You know, I'm not supposed to be talking to you.
George: No one's putting a gun to your head. Do I, uh, scare you?
Anna: No... A little. Nice car.
George: Yeah, she's a sweet ride.
Anna: Is that your orthopedic back pillow?
George: Maybe.
Anna: Well, is it or isn't it?
George: Guess not.
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Post by Rufus-T on Apr 1, 2022 3:08:44 GMT
Kramer: C'mon, Jerry, the masquerade is over. You're thin, late thirties, single
Jerry: So are you
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And she could have asked for a pencil.
