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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jan 19, 2023 20:16:54 GMT
George: You see, this is what I do with women. I start out too strong, now Ihave to become real, that's when it all falls apart. What good is real? They don't want real, they want funny.
Elaine: No they don't.
George: Ooooh, yes they do.
Elaine: Nooo.
George: Ya gotta put on a show, ya always gotta give them a big show. You always have to be 'on' otherwise why would they like me? They'd just go for a better looking guy with more money.
Elaine nods her head in approval.
George: You mean that's true, I'm right?!
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Post by masterofallgoons on Jan 19, 2023 21:43:58 GMT
The alternative media, Jerry! That's where you hear the truth.
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Post by masterofallgoons on Jan 20, 2023 12:17:11 GMT
I believe that's what you do with garbage, ya idiot!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jan 20, 2023 19:44:42 GMT
Jerry: What, you rented "Home Alone"?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: I thought you saw that already...
George: No, I saw "Home Alone II".
Jerry: Oh, right... But you *hated* it!
George: Well I was lost, I never saw the first one. By the way, do you mind if I watch it here?
Jerry: What for?
Jerry: Because if I watch it at my apartment I feel like I'm not doing anything. If I watch it here, I'm out of the house; I'm doing something.
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Post by gbone on Jan 20, 2023 20:03:59 GMT
I believe that's what you do with garbage, ya idiot! Well if I wanted it, I wouldn't be throwing it away would I, Einstein?
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Post by theauxphou on Jan 30, 2023 16:49:36 GMT
Oh.. well, I really think I'm falling for you... Joseph Puglia.
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Post by HumanFundRecipient on Jan 30, 2023 23:34:10 GMT
Remember when you first went out to eat with your parents? Remember, it was such a treat to go and they serve you this different food that you never saw before, and they put it in front of you, and it is such a delicious and exciting adventure? And now I just feel like a big sweaty hog waiting for them to fill up the trough.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Feb 8, 2023 21:19:30 GMT
The Drake broke up!
The Drake broke up!?! That’s fantastic now we get the TV back!
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Post by Rufus-T on Feb 8, 2023 21:35:11 GMT
So Biff wants to be a buff? ... Well sleeping less than 18 hours a day would be a start.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Feb 8, 2023 21:45:35 GMT
So Biff wants to be a buff? ... Well sleeping less than 18 hours a day would be a start. Jerry: Remember, don't whistle on the elevator. George: Why not? Jerry: That's what Willie Loman told Biff before his interview, in Death of a Salesman. George: What, you are comparing me to Biff Loman, very encouraging. The biggest loser in history of American literature.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Feb 10, 2023 5:30:30 GMT
You know that Kim Novak had some big breasts
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Post by masterofallgoons on Feb 20, 2023 4:04:59 GMT
Why did I think there was a Rubber Man? There's Elastic Man. And Plastic Man...
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Post by kiwi on Feb 20, 2023 17:14:26 GMT
Jerry: You mean Florence Nightingale.
George: What'd I say? Clara?
Jerry: Yeah, you must have meant Clara Barton.
George: Clara Barton? What did she do?
Jerry: I'm not sure, but I think she was nice.
(This exchange cracks me up every time I see it)
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Post by theauxphou on Feb 20, 2023 21:35:45 GMT
HOW!👏COULD👏JERRY!👏NOT!👏SAY!👏HELLO!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Feb 24, 2023 3:01:34 GMT
JERRY: Oh no, look at the checks! Hours of hard work ruined!
BRETT: Ah, don't worry, I can spot you the (reads) twelve cents?
JERRY: No, it's not the money. It's my hand. It's crippled from writing and writing.
BRETT: Nothing's working for you, is is?
JERRY: Not at the moment, Brett.
BRETT: I'd give you a ride, but I got Karl Farbman here.
JERRY: Thanks for stopping!
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Post by kiwi on Feb 24, 2023 3:53:31 GMT
HOW!👏COULD👏JERRY!👏NOT!👏SAY!👏HELLO! I can hear Frank clapping, LOL. Great representation.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Mar 3, 2023 21:36:36 GMT
George: What's the worst thing that could happen?
Jerry: Well, you'd be embarrassed and humiliated in front of a large group of people and have to walk out in shame with your tail between your legs.
George: Yeah, so?
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Post by The_Pride_of_Krakow on Mar 13, 2023 0:40:48 GMT
HOW!👏COULD👏JERRY!👏NOT!👏SAY!👏HELLO! Consider this letter the official termination of our relationship, effective immediately!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Mar 13, 2023 3:59:39 GMT
HOW!👏COULD👏JERRY!👏NOT!👏SAY!👏HELLO! Consider this letter the official termination of our relationship, effective immediately!Exclamation Point!!
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Post by The_Pride_of_Krakow on Mar 13, 2023 4:28:19 GMT
Consider this letter the official termination of our relationship, effective immediately!Exclamation Point!! I will expect all funds, in the form of a cashier's check, no later than the 18th!!
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