Things That Remind You You're Getting Old ??

Half the Beatles are dead (and a year from now, John Lennon will have been dead for as many years as he was alive), and the other two are going on 78 and 80.

Next year will mark the 53nd anniversary of the Summer of Love.

"Oldies" used to be from the '50's and early '60's. "Classic Rock" used to be from the mid-'60's through the mid-'70's.
Now, "Oldies" are from the mid-'60's through the mid-'70's, and "Classic Rock" is from the '80's through the mid-'90's. (Though YMMV.)

Being eligible for Social Security...and feeling that way.

Finding out that my childhood best friend is about to become a grandmother.

Yesterday I told my daughter that within her lifetime there won't be anyone alive from when men walked on the moon.

Ermagerd, you are Michael Douglas!

Fun fact: Michael Keaton's real name is Michael Douglas.

They can't even buy cigarettes now, unless you're in a state where they're not enforcing the new federal law.

YOU'RE AN OLD FUDDY-DUDDY WHEN:

Cops start looking like young kids to you.

You're in a restaurant and you ask if the music can be turned down.

You need stronger glasses.

You think football players hit each other too hard.

You're asleep by midnight on New Years Eve.

You leave an event early to beat the traffic.

You start thinking...a lot...about back pain.

You need a nose hair trimmer. And maybe you use it on your ears, too.

You begin to think of teen-agers as the enemy.

You hate their music.

You look for your keys--a lot.

Your sister has a grandchild.

You start buying sweaters...and wearing them more.

You think about retirement...and maybe becoming a snowbird.

You start to hate snow and cold--no matter how mild the winter is.

You crave sunshine--and warmth--like you used to crave a drink or a joint.

You haven't slept all night long in days, or weeks, or months.

You think all the new cars look alike.

You miss the old ones and wish you still had the first one you owned, or the second, or the third.

Young foxes/hunks smile at you, and you realize they are not flirting.

Or worse, they don't even see you. You are a rock...or a tree...OLD.

You think all new music sucks and you don't understand it. Nor do you even want to try.

You are afraid your doctor or your shrink will die soon.

He/she does.

And he/she was born the same year you were.

You check your oil more frequently.

You read the obituaries every day.

And you check the ages.

You hire a kid to shovel your driveway.

You hesitate when asked your age.

You wouldn't dream of buying certain cars. Too fast. Too powerful.

More and more people begin to call you "sir" or "ma'am." Younger ones.

You stay out of the sun. Too hot. Skin cancer. You are too pudgy.

Your teeth start breaking, like Chiclets, and falling out.

You have old suits and shirts, covered with kitty fur, in your closet.

You think everything on prime-time TV really sucks.

You haven't watched "The Jimmies" (Kimmel and Fallon) in years.

You refuse that last drink because you know it will affect your sleep.

And that the next day, you'll feel like crap.

When new neighbors move in, you hope they are OK.

You think young kids at work are noisy.

You mention that some celebrity has died--and they don't have a clue whom you are talking about.

And they don't care.

Your boss was born the year you got your college degree.

You think all kids dress like gangbangers.

You wish they'd turn their baseball caps around.

You bypass the "All-You-Can-Eat" dining experiences.

You sometimes feel like sending American troops overseas to do battle.

You won't have to be going.

But your sibling's kids, or their boyfriends/husbands, might have to.

You think hardware stores are fun places to visit.

You whine because the new stores aren't as good as the old ones.

You think kissing in public is uncool.

You think iced tea, or a soft drink, is better than a cocktail.

So you have one.

You know judges personally.

You have more and more moments you wish you could have back again.

Or else you wish you could "do them over."

You actually use the term "fuddy-duddy."

Monk

Someone once told me that you perceive the passing of time during the first 18 years of your life so slowly that once you've reached 18 you have basically already lived half of your life, because after that your perception of time starts speeding up so much, that you are almost rushing through the rest of your existence. Now I'm 38 and I'm beginning to think that this person was right. Just yesterday I had a meeting with someone I hadn't seen for a year and I couldn't believe that a whole year had passed since we had last met.

Also they say the older you get, the better you remember your younger years and the more difficult it becomes for you to recall the recent past.