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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Dec 1, 2021 15:06:21 GMT
Let's do it then! Festivus is back! I'll get the pole out of the crawl space. FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way! KRAMER: What happened to the doll? FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!" KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll. FRANK: She was.
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Post by Rufus-T on Dec 1, 2021 19:27:57 GMT
Let me tell you something. No one walks into a beauty parlor and says "Give me the Larry Fine."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2021 19:38:13 GMT
"Tell him to eat a plum."
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Post by jcush on Dec 1, 2021 20:40:16 GMT
"I can't be with someone like me...I hate myself!"
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Post by masterofallgoons on Dec 1, 2021 21:04:47 GMT
Alright I am happy. And I'll tell you why. Because the two of you were making me and every one of your friends sick. Right Elaine?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2021 21:22:18 GMT
Alright I am happy. And I'll tell you why. Because the two of you were making me and every one of your friends sick. Right Elaine? Shmoopie! No, you're shmoopie!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Dec 2, 2021 21:13:24 GMT
Alright I am happy. And I'll tell you why. Because the two of you were making me and every one of your friends sick. Right Elaine? Shmoopie! No, you're shmoopie! People who do that in public should be arrested!
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Post by Rufus-T on Dec 2, 2021 22:01:50 GMT
George: You know what would be great? If he could see me with
some of my black friends.
Jerry: Yeah except you don't really have any black friends. Outside of
us, you don't have any white friends either.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Dec 4, 2021 18:54:56 GMT
KRAMER: You know I never got a library card.
JERRY: <to speaker> Coming down.
KRAMER: It's all a bunch of cheapskates in there anyway. People sitting around reading the newspaper attached to huge wooden sticks. Trying to save a quarter, ooh!
JERRY: I gotta go to the library. You want to go?
KRAMER: Yeah!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Dec 6, 2021 18:03:50 GMT
[At George's home. He and Susan are in bed watching TV]
Rabbi: [On TV] The prophet Isaah tells us without friends our lives are empty and meaningless.
George: Wait. Whoa! That's the Rabbi: from Elaine's building. I just met this guy the other day.
Rabbi: A young lady I know, let's call her Elaine:, happened to find herself overwhelmed with feelings of resentment and hostility for her friend, let's call him George:. She felt that George was somewhat of a loser and that she was the one who deserved to be married first. She also happened to mention to me that her friend had wondered if going to a prostitute while you're engaged is considered cheating. His feeling was they're never going to see each other again so what's the difference. But that is a subject for another sermon. Now, I'd like to close with a psalm.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Dec 9, 2021 21:39:48 GMT
KRAMER: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.
GEORGE: You ran?
KRAMER: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it."
GEORGE: Holy cow!
KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " <Kramer throws two quick punches and a massive uppercut> - knocked him out cold!
GEORGE: How could you do that?!
KRAMER: Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.
GEORGE: You're Batman.
KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop.
JERRY: You kept makin' all the stops?
KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Dec 13, 2021 15:45:49 GMT
Jerry: Check these out. These are Jerry Lewis' old cufflinks that he actually wore in the movie Cinderfella. I got 'em at an auction.
George: I got some cufflinks I could've loaned you.
Jerry: No, Jerry Lewis is gonna be at this Friar's Club roast I'm going to next week. Now I have an in to strike up a conversation with him.
George: You already have an in. You have the same first name. Jerry.
Jerry: Oh, that'll intrigue him.
George: Well, it worked when I met George Peppard last week.
Jerry: George Peppard has been dead for years.
George: Well, whoever he was, he knew a lot about The A-Team.
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Post by masterofallgoons on Dec 13, 2021 23:08:48 GMT
I tell you, this doll is pretty spooky. It's really freaking me out, man.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Dec 17, 2021 2:44:02 GMT
Frank: Welcome, new comers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it! You, Kruger. My son tells me your company stinks!
George Costanza : Oh, God.
Frank Costanza : [to George] Quiet, you'll get yours in a minute.
Frank Costanza : Kruger, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe... I lost my train of thought.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2021 4:05:18 GMT
"Do you like gum? Cause I've got a gum a guy!"
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Post by nutsberryfarm 🏜 on Dec 17, 2021 15:41:33 GMT
In honor of our beloved friend nuts, who is having some health issues, let's do a silly thread with nothing but obscure, or famous if you wish, Seinfeld quotes. I'll get the ball rolling..... You tell that son of a bitch, no Yankee is coming to Houston, not as long as you bastards are running the show. Giddy up! I hope Millar is ok… |
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Dec 19, 2021 1:33:18 GMT
Happy 6th month anniversary to this thread. I didn’t come here regularly before, but my love of Seinfeld has kept me coming back. I think we can do 6 months more and maybe beyond?
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Post by nutsberryfarm 🏜 on Dec 19, 2021 15:47:15 GMT
Happy 6th month anniversary to this thread. I didn’t come here regularly before, but my love of Seinfeld has kept me coming back. I think we can do 6 months more and maybe beyond? Ideally. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2021 17:07:40 GMT
I'm a Seinfeld nut, so I love reading these threads about Jerry, George, Elaine, Kramer, yada, yada, yada.
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Post by Rufus-T on Dec 19, 2021 17:28:15 GMT
In honor of our beloved friend nuts, who is having some health issues, let's do a silly thread with nothing but obscure, or famous if you wish, Seinfeld quotes. I'll get the ball rolling..... You tell that son of a bitch, no Yankee is coming to Houston, not as long as you bastards are running the show. Giddy up! I hope Millar is ok… Username: millar70 Last Online: Aug 24, 2021 at 1:16am
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