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Post by masterofallgoons on May 2, 2022 16:44:45 GMT
Look, I don't have grace, I don't want grace, I don't even say grace.
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Post by kiwi on May 3, 2022 1:19:33 GMT
“Hunger will make people do amazing things. I mean, the proof of that is cannibalism.”
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on May 8, 2022 4:12:13 GMT
MICKEY: But I got a big problem. The kid I stand in for, he's growing. He was four feet last month, now he's like four-two and a half. He shot up two and a half inches. I can do four-two, four-three is a stretch, any higher than that and I'm gonna be out on my ass doing that paralegal crap.
JERRY: How do you stop a kid from growing?
KRAMER: I told you, you should offer him some cigarettes.
MICKEY: I offered him cigarettes, but his stupid mother is hanging around. She won't let him have any.
KRAMER: What about lifts?
MICKEY: Out of the question.
GEORGE: Can't you just switch with another Midget?
MICKEY: IT’S LITTLE PEOPLE, YOU GOT THAT!!
KRAMER: Easy Mickey, easy.
GEORGE: Yap..
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Post by NJtoTX on May 8, 2022 13:01:32 GMT
Jerry: What is this? What are we doing? What in God's name are we doing? George: What!? Jerry: Our lives. What kind of lives are these? We're like children. We're not men. George: No, we're not. We're not men. Elaine: I gotta make some changes. I'm not a woman. I'm a child. What kind of life is this?
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on May 9, 2022 4:02:32 GMT
Jerry: What is this? What are we doing? What in God's name are we doing? George: What!? Jerry: Our lives. What kind of lives are these? We're like children. We're not men. George: No, we're not. We're not men. Elaine: I gotta make some changes. I'm not a woman. I'm a child. What kind of life is this? Ah, don't worry about a thing. In twenty minutes that place'll be swarming with mailmen. We'll be back on the street by lunch.
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Post by gbone on May 9, 2022 13:42:47 GMT
George Costanza: Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know me and have access to my dementia?
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on May 13, 2022 3:06:36 GMT
When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you’re busy.
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Post by HumanFundRecipient on May 15, 2022 1:34:07 GMT
George: So concerned was he that word of his poor tennis skills might leak out, he chose to offer his wife as some sort of medieval sexual payola?
Jerry: He's new around here!
George: So, details?
Jerry: Well, I didn't sleep with her!
George: Because of society, right?
Jerry: Yes, George, because of society.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on May 17, 2022 20:29:38 GMT
GEORGE: I think I'm having a heart attack.
JERRY: I don't think that's it.
GEORGE: I'm not kidding.
JERRY: What does that mean?
ELAINE: I think what he's trying to say is that he's having a heart attack.
JERRY: Oh, he's having a heart attack.
GEORGE: Tightness..
JERRY: C'mon.
GEORGE: Shortness of breath..
JERRY: Oh, this is ridiculous.
GEORGE: Radiating waves of pain..
JERRY: I know what this is. You saw that show on PBS last night, Coronary Country. I saw it in the TV Guide. I called him and told him to make sure and not watch it.
GEORGE: There was nothing else on. Oh, the left arm.. the left arm.
JERRY: He saw that show on anorexia last year, and ate like an animal for two weeks.
GEORGE: Why can't I have a heart attack? I'm allowed.
JERRY: So what do you want? You want me take you to the hospital?
GEORGE: Manhattan Memorial, less of a line.
JERRY: I'll call an ambulance.
WAITRESS: Is everything alright?
GEORGE: We'll just take a check.
She leaves the check.
GEORGE: You made a mistake on the..
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Post by masterofallgoons on May 18, 2022 15:04:41 GMT
...Really, very, nice and good.
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Post by Rufus-T on May 18, 2022 15:17:26 GMT
Octane, Butane, Nitrane!
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Post by kiwi on May 21, 2022 15:41:03 GMT
George: Is she smarter than me? I don't want anyone smarter than me!
Jerry: How could she be smarter than you?
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Post by HumanFundRecipient on May 22, 2022 2:14:46 GMT
Every group has someone we all make fun of. Like us with Elaine.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on May 27, 2022 7:17:25 GMT
Jerry: I really have to go to the bathroom.
Kramer: Why don't you go behind one of these cars? Why? There's nobody's around.
Jerry: I'll wait.
Kramer: You know, you hold it in like that you can cause a lot of damage to your bladder. That's what happens to truck drivers. Well, they hold it in all the time, and eventually it starts coming out involuntarily.
Jerry: All right.
Kramer: Jerry, are you aware that adult diapers are a six hundred million dollar a year industry?
Jerry: Maybe I should just go anytime I get the urge like you. Wherever I am. There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in. It builds character.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on May 30, 2022 18:09:08 GMT
That's what you had to tell me? Your father wears sneakers in the pool?
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Post by Rufus-T on Jun 1, 2022 17:52:58 GMT
Yeah, you're on top of it, and I'm on the bottom!
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Post by masterofallgoons on Jun 3, 2022 16:03:06 GMT
I'd like to have shoe horn hands.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jun 5, 2022 2:46:14 GMT
It’s not fair people are seated first come, first served. It should be based on who’s hungriest.
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Post by NJtoTX on Jun 5, 2022 12:10:04 GMT
I thought you said you was bringin' a white boy home. I don't see a white boy. I see a damn fool!
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Post by NJtoTX on Jun 7, 2022 12:03:32 GMT
That is damn good scotch. I could do a commercial for this stuff. Mmm. Boy, that Hennigan goes down smooth. And afterwords you don't even smell. That's right folks. I just had three shots of Hennigan's and I don't smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That's Hennigan's. No-smell, no-tell scotch.
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