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Post by kiwi on Aug 7, 2022 1:20:04 GMT
"I don't know the woman but she sounds quite fetching."
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Post by masterofallgoons on Aug 7, 2022 3:41:43 GMT
Would you believe my luck? The first time in my life I have a good answer to the question, "What do you do?" and I have a girlfriend. I mean, you don't need a girlfriend when you can answer that question. That's what you say in order to get girlfriends. Once you can get a girlfriend, you don't want a girlfriend, you just want more girlfriends.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Aug 7, 2022 19:14:01 GMT
GEORGE: What are you doing with the Daily Worker?
ELAINE: Ned must have left it here.
GEORGE: Your boyfriend reads the Daily Worker? What is he? A communist?
ELAINE: He reads everything, you know, Ned's very well read.
GEORGE: Maybe he's just "very well RED"?
ELAINE: Communist? Don't you think he probably would have told me?
GEORGE: Well, does he wear bland, drab, olive colored clothing?
ELAINE: Yes, . . . yes he does dress a little drab.
GEORGE: Huh, he's a communist. . . . Look at this. "Exciting uninhibited woman seeks forward thinking comrade and appearance not important." . . . Appearance Not Important! This is unbelievable. Finally this is an ideology I can embrace!
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Post by Rufus-T on Aug 7, 2022 20:19:11 GMT
The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. She's a menace to society.
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Post by theauxphou on Aug 8, 2022 10:23:02 GMT
Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here — George is dead, call me back!
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Post by Rufus-T on Aug 8, 2022 16:43:08 GMT
How's this for criticism? Um...you stink.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Aug 12, 2022 19:00:23 GMT
GEORGE: Oh, it had to happen!! I knew it!!
JERRY: Hey
GEORGE: I predicted it! [hits cab roof twice, it drives off] Saw both of them today! What a disaster! I'm runnin' all over Queens. First I saw my mother. We had lunch together. Never had, Lunch, with my mother before--it's like a date! Then we drive down to Kew Gardens! Tons of traffic! I see my father. We played "Clue"! All day with this!
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Post by masterofallgoons on Aug 12, 2022 19:44:31 GMT
But you are, Blanche, you are in the shackles!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Aug 13, 2022 8:03:58 GMT
George: Look at that. They got lobster on the menu. Who would order a lobster here. I mean, do they bring a lobster in everyday hoping todays the day.
Estelle: So what if they have a lobster. Suddenly you're a shell-fish connoisseur.
George: You know, I think we really need to be in front of a television set. You take T.V. out of this relationship, it is *just* torture.
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Post by HumanFundRecipient on Aug 14, 2022 1:48:21 GMT
Mrs. Ross: We know the last three months have been hard on you.
George: Oh, yes, yes, yes. Very, very hard.
Mr. Ross: And they've been hard on us, too. It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children.
George: Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do.
Mr. Ross: That's why we decided to create a foundation to preserve Susan's memory.
George: Oh, that's wonderful.
Mr. Ross. And, of course, we want you to be an integral part.
George: Yes, inte-- h-how inte-- how integral?
Mr. Ross: You'll be on the board of directors.
George: Great, great. O-Oh, oh, oh, gosh. You know, it's just... my duties with the Yankees...
Mrs. Ross: Don't worry, George. The foundation will revolve around your schedule. Evenings, weekends, whenever you have free time.
George: I can't believe this is happening.
Mr. Ross: Well, it wouldn't have without your friend Jerry's inspirational words. He said to us, "She's not really dead if her shadow is..." Uh, w-what was it, dear?
Mrs. Ross: Something about a way, a-and a light, uh... ha. Who the hell knows?
Mr. Ross: Well, what's important is that your relationship with Susan doesn't have to end.
Mrs. Ross: So will you be sure to thank Jerry for us?
George: The second I see him...
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2022 1:49:51 GMT
The very pants I was returning…
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Post by theauxphou on Aug 14, 2022 15:33:43 GMT
The tomato never really took off as a hand fruit.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Aug 17, 2022 16:03:33 GMT
George: Jerry, this woman hates me so much. I'm starting to like her.
Jerry: What?
George: She just dislikes me so much--it's irresistable.
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Post by Winston Wolfe on Aug 17, 2022 19:16:33 GMT
You need a code to tell you not to wear other people’s clothes?
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Post by theauxphou on Aug 17, 2022 23:27:53 GMT
Modelling – what’s that like? Fun?
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Aug 18, 2022 5:35:23 GMT
Pulp couldn't make it across the table
Pulp can move, baby!
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Post by theauxphou on Aug 21, 2022 14:02:16 GMT
The laser’s not funny, I’m funny.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Aug 22, 2022 6:44:08 GMT
Wilhelm: Mr. Steinbrenner, I am very concerned about George Costanza.
Steinbrenner: How 'bout a 'good morning'?
Wilhelm: Yes sir, good morning, good morning, sir.
Steinbrenner: Good morning to you, Wilhelm.
Wilhelm: Anyway, his car's in the parking lot, the front end is bashed in, and there's blood in the car, and we can't find him anywhere. Obviously he was in some sort of terrible car accident, and, trooper that he is, he tried to make it into work, sir. Steinbrenner: Alright, Wilhelm, listen to me. I want the stadium scoured. He could be bleeding to death in the bullpen. Put everyone on alert, check all the area hospitals, clinics, shelters, we've gotta find that kid.
Wilhelm: Yes sir, yes sir.
Steinbrenner: We must find George, find him, Wilhelm!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Aug 23, 2022 1:00:47 GMT
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Aug 26, 2022 5:20:54 GMT
George: You'll de-sour, right?
Jerry: I'll try and de-sour.
George: That's not good enough. You don't try and de-sour. You have to sweeten too.
Jerry: I'll try. I'll try and de-sour and sweeten.
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