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Post by poelzig on Apr 24, 2019 3:25:39 GMT
What does Brokeback Mountain and the nfl have in common?
The cowboys suck in both of them.
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Post by Nora on Apr 24, 2019 14:45:21 GMT
whats trumps favorite bedtime story? wall e. Next topic: Cowboy Huh? Another one you will need to explain. How about the punchline being Bedtime for Bonzo. Not great but it makes sense on several levels. All joking aside is belgian humor that different from the rest of the worlds? I'll toss you a bone. next topic is Hercule Poirot is your bone. now off to Poirot. thats a good topic selection.
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Post by Nora on Apr 24, 2019 19:55:15 GMT
ok... Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirote and Philip Marlow are in a bar comiserating. “I lost my hat, my pipe, my coat, all gone. And the broads call themselves Cumberbitches” says Sherlock “Thas iz nothing, Olmes, I waz played by an Irish man wiz a fetish forr Shakespeare! The orror! E cannot even speak like me!” Poirote exclaims angrily while almost choking on a hard boiled egg. Marlow looks around the grim place, then utters“Have any of you been played by an Irishman, whos best work is Taken?” A newcomer overheard their talk. “He’s done a lot for the Kraken!” I dunno  thats the best I got right now. Next topic: Cupcakes. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2019 20:01:47 GMT
following up on another thread asking if people are witty. why dont we try coming up with jokes we create? I once got tasked to produce 20 jokes about Hillary Clinton (her birthday was coming up so they wanted to have a lot of jokes about her and ideally her aging). Needless to say, After joke like number 5 I really struggled. Why dont we try one poster saying a topic and another poster creating a joke about it and then adding their topic? Ill kick it off. Write a joke including an octopus. Ps- what constitutes a joke is up to each poster. ideally it should make someone laugh out loud or at least chuckle, but how your reach it is up to u. Yes lenlenlen1 you can use images Well, this one's not quite about an octopus, but it's close enough... What did Humphrey Bogart say to Admiral Ackbar? Here's looking at you, squid
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Post by Nora on Apr 24, 2019 20:02:49 GMT
following up on another thread asking if people are witty. why dont we try coming up with jokes we create? I once got tasked to produce 20 jokes about Hillary Clinton (her birthday was coming up so they wanted to have a lot of jokes about her and ideally her aging). Needless to say, After joke like number 5 I really struggled. Why dont we try one poster saying a topic and another poster creating a joke about it and then adding their topic? Ill kick it off. Write a joke including an octopus. Ps- what constitutes a joke is up to each poster. ideally it should make someone laugh out loud or at least chuckle, but how your reach it is up to u. Yes lenlenlen1 you can use images Well, this one's not quite about an octopus, but it's close enough... What did Humphrey Bogart say to Admiral Ackbar? Here's looking at you, squid thats pretty good now do one on cupcakes and chose the next topic. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2019 20:04:39 GMT
Well, this one's not quite about an octopus, but it's close enough... What did Humphrey Bogart say to Admiral Ackbar? Here's looking at you, squid thats pretty good now do one on cupcakes and chose the next topic. Oh sorry. I jumped the gun before reading the rest of the thread's premise. Cupcakes huh? Ok. Gimme a minute...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2019 20:32:37 GMT
Oh man this is absolutely terrible, but it's the best I can do before lunch...
A detective walks into a bakery and orders a dozen cupcakes. As he looks in the box he senses something is wrong. He hands the box to his secretary and leaves to investigate. An hour later he returns to the office. What did you find out? the secretary asks. The detective shrugs, "I got muffin!"
Next topic: tapioca pudding
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Post by Nora on Apr 24, 2019 20:58:50 GMT
Oh man this is absolutely terrible, but it's the best I can do before lunch... A detective walks into a bakery and orders a dozen cupcakes. As he looks in the box he senses something is wrong. He hands the box to his secretary and leaves to investigate. An hour later he returns to the office. What did you find out? the secretary asks. The detective shrugs, "I got muffin!" Next topic: tapioca pudding not terrible at all! Tapioca pudding, mmm my davorite. But a challenging topic for a joke. Let see... |
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Post by alpha128 on Apr 24, 2019 23:03:07 GMT
Next topic: tapioca pudding A guy is outside tapping maple trees and collecting their sap, to be turned into maple syrup. He looks over and spies another guy driving a tap into an oak tree. Curious, he goes over to him and says, "I know of twenty-two trees that can be tapped for sap and syrup, but I've never seen anyone tap an oak tree before." The second guy exclaims, "I thought this is how you get the main ingredient for Tap-an-oak-a pudding!"
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2019 0:44:24 GMT
Next topic: tapioca pudding A guy is outside tapping maple trees and collecting their sap, to be turned into maple syrup. He looks over and spies another guy driving a tap into an oak tree. Curious, he goes over to him and says, "I know of twenty-two trees that can be tapped for sap and syrup, but I've never seen anyone tap an oak tree before." The second guy exclaims, "I thought this is how you get the main ingredient for Tap-an-oak-a pudding!" Nicely done! Don't forget to choose the next topic.
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Post by Prime etc. on Apr 25, 2019 0:54:32 GMT
Dick Cheney runs out of hearts and goes to Hell.
He's in a lineup with three other people.
A big demon appears and sees the first guy and says: "Aha! You're my breakfast!"
He gobbles the guy up.
He then grabs the second guy and says: "You're my lunch!"
He grabs the third guy: "And you're my dinner!"
The demon starts to walk away and Cheney says: "Hey I got lucky."
The demon replies: "No you didn't. I'll be back later. BTW, you're my suppository."
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Post by alpha128 on Apr 25, 2019 1:18:35 GMT
A guy is outside tapping maple trees and collecting their sap, to be turned into maple syrup. He looks over and spies another guy driving a tap into an oak tree. Curious, he goes over to him and says, "I know of twenty-two trees that can be tapped for sap and syrup, but I've never seen anyone tap an oak tree before." The second guy exclaims, "I thought this is how you get the main ingredient for Tap-an-oak-a pudding!" Nicely done! Don't forget to choose the next topic. OK. Next is my favorite dessert: Pumpkin Pie
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Post by poelzig on Apr 25, 2019 6:05:13 GMT
Huh? Another one you will need to explain. How about the punchline being Bedtime for Bonzo. Not great but it makes sense on several levels. All joking aside is belgian humor that different from the rest of the worlds? I'll toss you a bone. next topic is Hercule Poirot is your bone. now off to Poirot. thats a good topic selection. I've seen the movie but I still don't get why Trump would think that is a bedtime story or why it would be his favorite.
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Post by poelzig on Apr 25, 2019 6:12:39 GMT
Well, this one's not quite about an octopus, but it's close enough... What did Humphrey Bogart say to Admiral Ackbar? Here's looking at you, squid thats pretty good now do one on cupcakes and chose the next topic. See nora. The reason that works is squid and kid RHYME. Kraken and taken don't. Are you sure you really understand non belgian humor? I do like the reply the kraken jokes creator gave me and perhaps it should be the punchline. I hate to ask but are you stealing our jokes and selling them to some show with a really stupid audience? The Daily Show or The Colbert Show for example? Maybe one of those shows with a Jimmy as host? Tyler Perry perhaps? If so that's really uncool.
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Post by llanwydd on Apr 25, 2019 9:02:26 GMT
Q: What do Polynesians eat at Thanksgiving?
A: Pumpkin poi.
next topic: lawnmower
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Post by permutojoe on Apr 25, 2019 11:19:38 GMT
It wouldn't work verbally but it does work in text. I chuckled at it too.
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Post by Nora on Apr 25, 2019 12:18:00 GMT
thats pretty good now do one on cupcakes and chose the next topic. See nora. The reason that works is squid and kid RHYME. Kraken and taken don't. Are you sure you really understand non belgian humor? I do like the reply the kraken jokes creator gave me and perhaps it should be the punchline. I hate to ask but are you stealing our jokes and selling them to some show with a really stupid audience? The Daily Show or The Colbert Show for example? Maybe one of those shows with a Jimmy as host? Tyler Perry perhaps? If so that's really uncool. maybe some of us didnt need the Kraken joke creators explanation to begin with because they got it on their own, did you think of that? And as far as stealing, from the two of us only one is a thief. Understandnly so such person thinks of stealing and presumes it of other |
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Post by redhorizon on Apr 25, 2019 13:16:55 GMT
Q: When was the lawnmower invented?
A: A lawn time ago.
Next: Heaven
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Post by Nora on Apr 25, 2019 17:00:53 GMT
Batman dies and goes to Heaven. He is surprised to see Joker greet him at the door.
“Oh no. Not again... Where is St Peter?”
“but Batman, its me”
“whats with all that make up, Peter?”
“I go by Petra now”
“God allows gender reasignments in heaven?”
“He had to, no woman made it here since they were liberated”.
Next topic: Polar bear
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2019 18:25:31 GMT
Batman dies and goes to Heaven. He is surprised to see Joker greet him at the door. “Oh no. Not again... Where is St Peter?” “but Batman, its me” “whats with all that make up, Peter?” “I go by Petra now” “God allows gender reasignments in heaven?” “He had to, no woman made it here since they were liberated”. Next topic: Polar bear I don't have a joke, but yesterday when I was picking the next topic one of the first things that popped into my head was polar bear! Pretty freaky.
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thats the best I got right now.
